Suffering
by Rubberduckie713
Summary: Your usual: Harry is abused by the Dursleys and then saved by Severus Snape. WARNING: Child abuse, Language, and major OotP spoilers!
1. Hidden Secrets

**Suffering Ch.1: Hidden Secrets** **Disclaimer: Not mine. If it were mine, would I REALLY be writing this crappy fanfic? As of right now, everything I'm using belongs to J.K. Rowling. There. I said it. So don't sue me because I have nothing of value except this shiny piece of aluminum foil, and you'll never get it from me! (Laughs hysterically) It's mine! It's mine and you'll never take it from me!!!! **A/N: Okay, so this whole Harry abused thing is WAY overdone, but I have wanted to write this fic forever! I might not be able to update too often, watch for that. I really only have a rough idea of where this is going, so please click the little purple button with any suggestions you may have. Oh, and anyone looking for a couple of great Draco abused fics should check out Struggle by Cinnamon and Kill Me Slowly by Fire'N'Ice. I don't know whether this will be slash or Harry/Herm, or possibly Harry/Ginny, it all depends on what you guys want. Am also toying with the idea of making Harry a cutter. So review and let me know!!! Okay, enough jabber, on with the story!  
  
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Harry saw a jet of red light hit his godfather square in the chest. Saw Sirius's shocked face as he fell backwards through the fluttering black veil. He felt Lupin holding him back as he rushed forward to keep his godfather from stumbling through the stone archway.  
"SIRIUS!" Harry yelled the word as he sat bolt upright in bed, drenched in a cold sweat.  
Breathing as heavily as if he had been sprinting, Harry looked around and realized he was in his bedroom at Privet Drive and that it was very early morning. He also realized his shout must have woken his uncle.  
*Oh, God, I hope I didn't wake him up! *Thought Harry desperately. But even as he hoped against hope, he heard heavy, lumbering footsteps approaching his bedroom. He knew that sound could only mean trouble. Sure enough, seconds later, his uncle's purple face appeared at the door.  
"What the HELL are you doing?" his angry uncle inquired through clenched teeth.  
"S-sorry, Uncle Vernon, I just had a bit of a nightmare, you see." Harry began weakly, but he knew it was useless.  
"I don't give a shit if you had a dream!" snarled his uncle. " There is no bloody reason to wake every person in the bloody house!" The large man delivered a swift punch to Harry's abdomen, sending the teenager sprawling on the floor. Harry knew better than to attempt to fight back against the man, who was 3 times his size, at least. Instead, he chose to tense his muscles to absorb the blow. He turned his head to stare blankly at the wall, willing himself not to scream while the man he called his uncle began to kick, punch, and throw things at the 15-year-old with alarming ferocity.  
Finally, breathing like a winded hippopotamus, the man stopped his assault and stared down at the child who lay completely still on the floor. "You'll be writing to those freaks, now that you're up. I know you can hear me." And with that, the man spat on his "nephew" and left the room, slamming the door so hard that bits of dust and rubble fell from the ceiling.  
Shaking, Harry slowly attempted to get to his feet, only to wind up on the floor again, gasping for breath. Bringing himself to his hands and knees, he crawled over to the bed and pulled himself up. It was only when he had balanced himself on the bed when he realized that the bloodstained sheets were blurry ad he couldn't seem to focus on them. *Oh, dear, * Harry thought, *No glasses.. *That complicated things a bit. He couldn't see how he was supposed to be able to write when he couldn't see.  
Harry was writing to the members of the Order of the Phoenix because he could clearly remember Alastor Moody threatening to "drop by" if the Order didn't hear from Harry for 3 days. Harry knew his uncle definitely didn't want that, and neither could he. He could just picture Moody, Tonks, and Lupin traipsing up the sidewalk to check on him. They would force their way in if they had to, then they would make their way upstairs. That was when they would begin to realize something was dreadfully wrong. The bloodstained, battered door with multiple locks, the slight stench of blood and vomit as they neared the room, and, of course, the room itself. A virtual hellhole for Harry, as it had been for as long as he could remember. Perhaps last summer, he would have prayed for someone to come and find him, to save him. But now he didn't care. He had killed his own godfather. He deserved whatever horror nature could bestow upon him. In fact, he didn't want anybody to find him, because then they would all know that the great Harry Potter, the Golden Boy, the person who was supposed to be the Savior of the Wizarding world, couldn't defend himself against a stupid muggle.  
Harry sighed and slowly limped over to the mirror on his wardrobe door. Oh, he was just lovely. His right eye was still very nearly swollen shut from the beating he had received the instant he returned to Privet Drive, and he was bleeding pretty much everywhere. His face was a patchwork of colorful bruises, and a large gash across his left cheek was oozing quite nicely.  
Moody's threat, far from stopping Vernon's violence, had in fact earned him the beating he had received upon arriving at "home". The very thought of the beating still made Harry shiver.  
"So!" Vernon Dursley had bellowed the instant he had shut the door to Number 4. "Thought you'd get those freaks into scaring us, did you?" Spit flew from the man's mouth as he advanced upon Harry in a frightening rage.  
"No, Uncle Vernon, see--" Harry's hasty explanations were cut off as his uncle had kicked him in the stomach- hard. Coughing weakly, the teenager attempted to stand, but was sprawled on the floor again as his uncle backhanded him with an incredible amount of force.  
"SILENCE!" The large man roared, punching his nephew in the face. "Oh," he said, breathing like a wounded boar, "you'll still be writing those-those- FREAKS, and you'll tell them we're treating you just great, too! Understand?"  
Harry had nodded mutely, and his reward had been his uncle dragging him upstairs and throwing him against his bedroom wall, laughing maniacally all the while. That had been 3 weeks ago, and not a day had passed that Vernon hadn't shown Harry similar or worse violence. It had tended to be punching and kicking, but sometimes his uncle would get.bored. And when Vernon Dursley got bored, he got out his belt. Of course, Alastor Moody and the others had no idea of Harry's hellish homelife, because every 3 days or so, Harry was forced to write a letter telling everyone at headquarters that he was great. Apparently, he was to do the same thing again today, although writing anything legible should prove to be a challenge. It would have been very difficult to write without his glasses, but to add in a black eye and 3 fingers that were most likely broken, and it would be nearly impossible.  
Sitting down gingerly at his desk with a heavy sigh, Harry drew a piece of parchment towards him and dipped his quill in his inkpot. As he tried to think of something to write that would sound convincing, his thoughts slipped back to the days preceding his return to Privet Drive. The fiasco at the Department of Mysteries, and Sirius- *No, * Harry thought firmly. * I'm not going to think about that.* Instead, he thought about how he had tried to convince Albus Dumbledore to allow him to stay at Hogwarts over the summer, just like he had every year before. And, just like every year before, Albus Dumbledore had told Harry that he would be safest staying at Privet Drive. Ha! Thought Harry. * What good is it being protected from Voldemort if Vernon kills me anyway?* Even though he moved gingerly, Harry winced as pain coursed through his body like fire. Moaning slightly at what felt like several broken ribs, he began to write his letter. Hey everybody,  
My summer's going all right. Professor Dumbledore wrote me to tell me that Snape's going to start giving me Occlumency lessons again as soon as I'm back in London. At least then I might be able to stop the dreams. Speaking of London, when will I be able to get out of here and go there? I hate being stuck here! Well, anyway, just letting you know everything's fine here.  
  
Harry  
  
Harry did his best to proofread his letter, knowing it would be sloppy. Oh well, hopefully everyone would just think he was lazy. No one had questioned his equally sloppy letters before. Deciding his letter would just have to do, Harry set the parchment on his desk, knowing his uncle would want to check it. He lay down gingerly on his bed, though he couldn't imagine falling asleep when every nerve in his body felt like it was on fire. **************************************************** Remus Lupin sat at the scrubbed wooden table in the kitchen if Number 4, Grimuald Place. It was 3 A.M. His head was in his hands and he was clearly deep in thought. "Remus?" Molly Weasley's kind voice gently brought the man back down to Earth. He looked up at her warily. He seemed years older tan he had just a few short weeks ago. "I thought you might like some tea," she offered. "You couldn't sleep." It was a statement, not a question. Lupin shook his head. "I haven't had a good night's sleep for awhile now." Molly just nodded, and there a was silence for a moment. Finally she said quietly, "You really miss him, don't you?" Lupin nodded gravely. " I know Harry does too. I don't know if you heard about what he did in Dumbledore's office that night?" Molly shook her head, looking earnestly at Lupin. "Well, I spoke to Dumbledore. By the time he got there from the Ministry, Harry was hysterical. Dumbledore said he just kept throwing things and yelling and then he said that he wanted it all to end. Albus said that about a week later, he saw Harry sitting out at the lake for hours, he stayed until past nightfall. Harry blames himself for Sirius's death, Molly." Molly nodded. "I know. Ron told me. He said Harry wouldn't speak to him, or anybody else. I wish Dumbledore would let him come already. All he will say in his letters is that he has to get out of the Dursley's house. And who can blame him? He needs his real family right now." "I know," said Lupin resignedly, sounding more tired than Molly had ever heard him. "But you and I both know Dumbledore's got his reasons." ******************************************************** "Get your lazy ass out of bed!" yelled Vernon, punching Harry's ribs. "You've got to do extra chores to make up for the disturbance you caused this morning. And send that damn letter already!" Harry's vision stopped swimming from pain and exhaustion just in time for him to see his uncle thrust a slip of paper at him and stomp flat-footed from the room. * Well, that was a lovely wake-up call, * thought Harry, *I wish every day could start like this. * He massaged his ribs as he sat up very slowly. By the time he had finally worked up the strength to stand, he had heard a second car leaving, presumably taking his aunt and cousin for a two-day trip in London.  
Harry quickly rolled up his barely legible letter and worked his way over to Hedwig's cage. He tied the letter to her leg and gave her a gentle stroke. She nipped his ear gently and soared out the window  
Harry limped over to the mirror. Even without his glasses, he could tell that he looked far worse than he had at 2:30 that morning. The new bruises on his face had developed into deep purple splotches, he looked pale and drawn, and each of his ribs stuck out, visible even under his shirt. Of course, that could happen when you were surviving on a meager meal every 2 days. The Dursleys hadn't exactly been feeding Harry. *I hope the concealing cream is enough to hide the bruises, * thought Harry. For the past two summers, Harry had hidden all physical evidence of his uncle's abuse with Madame Maudie's Magical Concealing Crème that he had ordered from the Daily Prophet. It had generally worked well, but considering the severity of his new bruises, he wasn't sure if it would still do the trick. The reason Harry had only needed to use the ointment for the past two summers was because his Vernon had backed off a little when he went to Hogwarts, and before that, Harry hadn't had anyone to go to, so it didn't matter if he looked a little bruised. But, Harry's back, conveniently invisible to the public, was covered with many layers of scars, old and new, made by various instruments, mainly belts, although lately his uncle had been using a horse whip, which was much more painful than any belt. Jerking himself out of these unpleasant thoughts, Harry picked up the list his uncle had left him. It looked as though Vernon's idea of "extra chores" was to triple his already large workload. Harry briefly wondered how he was to complete these chores when he couldn't see and was barely capable of standing. * But, of course, that's the point* thought Harry. *Because if I don't get my chores done it gives him an excuse to kick me around more.* Harry had long since decided that his uncle actually enjoyed beating him, but he had also long since decided that he deserved it. Shaking his head briefly, Harry attempted to clear his head and focus, which he immediately regretted, because the pain in his head was so great that he nearly passed out. Harry looked down at the list. "Weed garden, paint fence, mow lawn, clean garage, clean gutters, do dishes, wash windows.oh, Lord, it just keeps going." Harry was surprised by his own voice. He rarely used it, so it was very hoarse. He hardly ever even screamed anymore. Shuddering, Harry quickly headed out of his bedroom and downs the stairs to get a start on his monstrous workload. 6 ½ hours later, an exhausted Harry had painted the fence, mowed the lawn, cleaned the garage, cleaned the gutters, done dishes, washed windows, washed the other family car, mopped his Aunt Petunia's kitchen, and dusted her living room. Now, nearly passing out in pain and exhaustion, Harry only had to weed the garden. However, that was an hour's worth of work and he only had 30 minutes to complete it. Kneeling on the grass, Harry was blindly, feverishly groping and pulling at weeds. Finally, limp and nauseous, he pitched headfirst into a large, prickly bush and passed out. ************************************************** Vernon Dursley was contemplating as he drove home from work. He was in a very bad mood. His drill company, Grunnings, was failing, ad all the employees, himself included, were suffering massive pay cuts. His day had been long, and, in his mind, stressful. Vernon was in such a bad mood that he had stopped by the pub on his way home. The practice, which was becoming more and more frequent for him, hadn't helped as much as he'd thought it would. Of course, Vernon knew the true source of his problems. It was the Potter freak. That boy had never caused anything but problems for Vernon's family. The man had just pulled his car into the driveway when he caught sight the very cause of his problems SLEEPING on the twilight-darkened lawn. If Vernon had been in a bad mood before, it was nothing compared to the rage he felt when he saw Harry Potter slumped over his Hydrangea bushes. Shaking and swaying as he got out of his car (he seemed to be having problems walking in a steady line), Vernon staggered over to the brat. He was going to make the boy pay. ******************************************************** Harry had been peacefully enjoying a, for once, dreamless sleep, when he was swiftly waken by a very large man shaking him. Reluctantly opening his eyes, he found himself face to face with his Uncle Vernon, who was holding him with his hands around his neck. "You lazy, insolent whelp!" hissed the purple-faced man through his teeth. "I leave you a simple list of chores and you can't even complete those! You have been a freakish sore in my family's side for long enough! I'm going to teach you a lesson you'll never forget!" With an insane sort of cackle, Vernon dragged the speechless boy into the house. Once his uncle had dragged him inside, Harry, still only vaguely aware of what was happening, was thrown to the ground with enough force to make the wooden flooring sound with a loud thud. Harry curled up into a ball to minimize the amount of damage, keeping his eyes shut as his uncle punched, kicked, and slapped him over and over again. Then his uncle removed his belt. Harry didn't know it was coming until he heard the leather strap whooshing through the air. He tensed, but it didn't matter. Again and again, his uncle brought the belt down on him, each time producing a loud slapping noise and causing a bleeding red welt to appear somewhere on his arms, legs, or back. Harry simply clamped his eyes tighter shut. He wouldn't allow the tears of pain to weave their way out of his eyelids. Then his uncle stopped suddenly, and Harry heard him stomp away. Taking advantage of the situation to take several short, gasping breaths, Harry's relief was cut off as his uncle grabbed him again. With his uncle holding his wrists out of the way, Harry briefly had time to feel panic when he saw the light glint off something metallic in Vernon's raised hand before the man sent the knife plunging in to his stomach. Harry's stomach exploded in pain and he let out a long, piercing scream as blood began to flow from the deep wound, soaking through his shirt and onto the hardwood floor. "SHUT UP!" bellowed his uncle, and he drew back the knife again. Harry, barely able to see, fought back as hard as he could, gasping for breath all the while as his uncle stabbed him again. The man held the teenager tight as he began to struggle and writhe. Harry finally felt the pressure released on his arms and curled up in a ball, sobbing, his hands clenched tight over his bleeding stomach. He began to cough and blood seeped out his mouth. His vision was fading around the edges and he could feel all consciousness leaving him. He was only just aware of his uncle, still laughing maniacally, grabbing his shirt collar and dragging him, not to his bedroom, but to the cupboard under the stairs.  
  
Harry felt a large pair of hands throw him into the tiny closet and heard the door slammed shut behind him and the lock click into place. It didn't matter; Harry couldn't possibly fight back. Coughing spastically as he rocked on the floor of his closet, he felt blood come up again and again. Eventually, he began to vomit as well, his stomach heaving up the small amount of food he had eaten in the last 2 days. Finally, no longer able to move, Harry sank into his pool of blood and blacked out. His last thoughts as he lost all consciousness were, * I'm going to see my parents now. I'm going to see Sirius.* ********************************************************* Hedwig was returning from her journey to London. She had flown as quickly as possible, not wanting to leave her master alone. She wished she could help him. The instant the strange-looking human with the funny eyes had removed her letter, she had taken off again into the receding light. Soaring over Privet Drive, Hedwig started circling down. Spotting her master's open window, she flew in, searching for him, to give him a reassuring nip. Her master was not there. Hedwig was confused. Her master was always in his bedroom by this time of night, waiting for her to return. It was very late night, after all. Concerned, the snowy owl silently flew through the house. She spotted nothing upstairs, but downstairs, she noticed something odd coming from the cupboard under the stairs. She could smell blood and pain and fear.and death. Hedwig flew closer to the cabinet. She could hear the ragged breathing that no doubt belonged to her master coming from under the stairs. Seeing the large red puddle on the floor outside the locked door, she sent a soft hoot through the door as she made sure to stick one snowy wing into the warm red liquid and took off towards her master's open bedroom window. Once outside, she began traveling as fast as she could in the direction she had just come from. ************************************************************* A/N: Okay, so there's your first chapter- kindly review???? Just reminding you again- NONE OF IT'S MINE!!! Yeah, I know, I know, such a typical story, poor Harry, poor Harry, but it gets better, and I live off abuse stories, so there! (sticks out tongue, bites self) Ouch! Okay, I have this klutz theory- as it gets colder, I get klutzier, my joints just kind of seize up. At least it's a good excuse.. PLEASE REVIEW!!! DON'T MAKE ME BEG!!! 


	2. The Order Meeting

Suffering: Chapter 2:  
  
Disclaimer: Ah, yes, always with the disclaimer. Ok, here we go: IT"S NOT MINE! The rights to the Harry Potter books/movies belong to J.K. Rowling, Scholastic Books, and Warner Bros. Kindly note that my name is not in that list. Thank you much.  
  
Review Replies: First off, thank you to those of you who reviewed, and I would like to say I am SO EXCITED to get any! I'd give you all a big hug and kiss if it weren't for that damn restraining order. ".May not come with in 400 feet of any living human being." Jeesh! Bring a crate of angry live badgers to a symphony and suddenly you're Hitler reincarnate. Please! Ummm. right, I've said too much.  
  
Amber 16: Thanks for the wonderful words of encouragement! I'm glad I'm not the only obsessive-compulsive Harry abuse fan!  
  
Saturnine the Possessive: Thanks! I'm not sure about slash yet- I have to see which way this story wants to go and I don't know if I'll be able to write good slash. Anyway, I am SO PSYCHED that you reviewed! I love your story "Firefly Darkness". You've got to update because that is most definitely one of the best abuse stories I've read!  
  
SGM29: Awesome! Thanks!  
  
Ckat44: I will try! I'm gonna delay any major changes (such as cutting or slash) until I get more feedback.  
  
Saf Saf: Thanks! I'm using Microsoft Word and I can't figure out how to fix it when I upload it!  
  
A/N: Okay, so here we are at chapter 2 with a very depressed- er- and rather dying Harry. Don't worry, I obviously couldn't kill him off. Anyhow, I have decided to hold of any changes like cutting or slash until I get more feedback. So, this should give you all inspiration to review! Okay, big thing: I am looking for a beta-reader! Anywho, I'm sure I've already said this, but my online access is rather limited, and updates may (sigh) be far apart. (Shields face with hands) I'm sorry! Okay, enough, on with the story!  
  
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It was again 3 AM, and Remus Lupin was again sitting at the kitchen table of Number 12, Grimuald Place with his head in his hands, deep in thought. This time, however, members of the Order surrounded him for a late-night meeting. The meeting had been going on for hours, and they were still getting nowhere.  
Remus looked around at the Order members. Dumbledore couldn't be there, but grouped around the table were Mundungus Fletcher, Alastor Moody, all the post-Hogwarts Weasleys with the exception of Percy, Minerva McGonagall, Severus Snape, Hagrid, Tonks, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Elphias Dodge, Dedalus Diggle, Emmeline Vance, Hestia Jones, and, for the first time, Arabella Figg.  
The Order had been arguing for the past several hours on 2 topics. The first was whether or not they should inform the Ministry of their actions and work with them. They were still divided on that issue, and had abandoned the argument for the night.  
The other issue was one much harder to abandon. The issue of Harry had been brought up. Many of the Order thought that the age rule ought to be bent so Harry could join, but about half- Lupin, Molly Weasley, and Severus Snape included, though it was an awful idea.  
"No," Mrs. Weasley had said immediately. "He's too young. Besides, he's going to be distressed since June. Can't you see how hard it would be for him to do this right now?"  
"But you must see," Tonks had argued, "how much he's done- age isn't an issue for some things."  
"Tonks," Lupin had cut in, "he's too young. He's done enough for our world already-it wouldn't be fair to ask him to do more." "Besides," Snape had spoken up silkily, "we are constantly bending the rules and making exceptions for Potter. These rules are for his safety, and if we bend the rules for him, we should allow anyone to join, regardless of age."  
  
Minerva McGonagall had scowled at Snape and said, "Why don't we just ask Potter?" Though Lupin didn't agree with it, the Order had decided they would ask Harry and allow him a sort of junior membership until he graduated Hogwarts, considering he wanted to join. Sighing as the arguments were finally ended, he said, "OK, so that's wrapped up, but while we're on the subject of Harry, I believe Arabella has something to add." Mrs. Figg said, "Well, it's only just that I'm worried those muggles he lives with are treating him badly- I rarely see himoutside and when he is, he's always working and hardly looks healthy."  
Moody said, "I doubt they're mistreating him, Arabella, not after that warning we gave that Dursley bloke at King's Cross. Besides, he's been writing the Order every few days, at least. He'd let us know if something was wrong."  
  
Arabella opened her mouth to say something, but Moody cut in, "I'm sure he'll let us know if something's happening. Besides, we'll be getting him out of there in no more than a week as it is."  
Just then, there was a loud snuffling sound. All of the Order members looked around quickly to locate the source of the noise.  
"Ah. Mundungus," said Arthur Weasley, sounding half-exasperated, half- amused.  
Fred- or maybe George- Lupin couldn't tell which one- prodded the slumped form with his foot. "Hey, Dung," he whispered. Mundungus simply grunted and shifted around a little.  
The other one leaned over and said rather loudly, "10 Galleons!" Dung suddenly jumped up quite quickly. "'Ere, now, what's goin' on?" He asked in a slurred voice. "'Oo said that?" "Said what?" inquired one of the twins with a voice of mock curiosity. "No one's said anything, Dung." "Oh, erm, right then," Mundungus said, shifting uncomfortably. "Sorry 'bout that, just got a little tired, y'know?" "Yes, well, it is getting rather late," said Molly in her motherly fashion. "Why don't we put an end to this meeting for now?" "Excellent idea, Molly," Lupin said, nodding in agreement while stifling a huge yawn. There was a general murmur of assent from everybody in the room and they began to rise and leave- everybody except Severus. He was still sitting at the table, staring at the wall. "Severus?" Molly asked gently, after about 5 minutes. Snape looked startled and blinked. "What? Sorry, I got lost in thought." "Yes, well, the meeting's over," Lupin said sharply. "You didn't, by any chance, happen to catch what was going on, did you?" Snape looked as if he would very much like to hex Lupin, and had just opened his mouth to argue, when he clutched his left forearm convulsively. "Shit," he whispered. "I've got to get back to Hogwarts. Dumbledore will want to know." He got up and strode quickly from the room, black robes billowing behind him and eyes clenched tight in pain.  
  
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Severus Snape waited till he had left Grimuald Place and was on the dark sidewalk to slow his pace. He stood still and took several deep, calming breaths before allowing his tensed muscles to relax. His mind went from pain mode to frustration mode in 3 seconds flat. He could not believe the way that meeting had gone. Why did everyone think poor Potter was such an exception? First they were actually going to consider putting an immature brat like that in the Order, then they were fawning over him because he had to go back to his aunt and uncle, and heaven forbid if the boy actually work. Snape groaned in frustration, massaging his throbbing forearm. He couldn't believe they had overrun the meeting by four hours just to talk about poor, helpless Potter. As he sat there, stewing in his angry thoughts, Snape noticed what was unmistakably an owl winging its way to Number 12. He watched it draw nearer for a moment when it swooped down on him. "You're looking for them," he said to the snowy owl. She ignored him, just swooped down on him again, pecking at him impatiently with her beak. There was something awfully familiar about that owl. It was then that Severus noticed she had no letter and one of her wings was covered in something dark and shiny. "Aren't you Potter's owl?" Snape asked irritably. The owl hooted and kept pecking at him. "All right! What do you want?" The owl just hooted at him again and flapped her wing in his face. This time he caught a whiff of whatever it was on her wing.  
"Blood?" Snape asked, looking at the owl quizzically. The owl nodded and flapped her wings again. "Potter's blood?" The owl gave him a look that quite plainly said, *Well, duh, what do you think, stupid?*  
"This means I'm going to have to save Potter's arse again, doesn't it?"  
  
***********  
  
Severus Snape had never been a patient man, but he was extremely intolerant when he was in a rush to see Dumbledore, only to be interrupted to save Potter's sorry ass again. He only went because he was quite sure that Albus would curse him if he deliberately left Potter when he knew he was in trouble.  
Sighing, Severus had decided to risk it and Apparate to Privet Drive, so Potter's owl didn't decide to maim him. He knew where Potter lived, having had the unpleasant duty of tailing the boy one day the previous summer.  
Appearing at the end of the Muggle street with a small pop, Severus looked around. He couldn't see what had Arabella Figg so worried. By the looks of it, Potter lived on the most boring street in all of England. Shrugging as the owl, still on his shoulder, hooted indignantly at him, he set off down the drive.  
"So, which house is it?" He inquired to the owl, sensing that she- Severus had decided the owl was a she- would understand. Apparently, she did, for she set off towards one of the houses.  
Snape watched after her for a moment. He scowled. "I can't believe I'm doing this," he grumbled to himself as he set down the street after her.  
The owl had landed on the garden wall of one of the houses. Snape looked at the house number.* Number 4, Privet Drive,* he thought to himself. *Looks to me like your run-of-the-mill-house, perfect place for a spoiled brat like Potter to grow up.* With a sigh, he looked at his watch. It was 4 AM. Severus realized that the Muggles Potter lived with it might not appreciate him barging into their house at ungodly hours. Then again, if it was for precious Potter's safety, they would probably be just as nearsighted as everyone in the Wizarding world. Just in case, Snape decided to check out the house quietly first.  
Gently testing the doorknob, he confirmed that the door was locked. Pulling out his wand and hoping any neighborhood busybodies were already fast asleep, Severus tapped the lock and whispered, "Alohomora." The door swung open with a quiet click. He strode quietly in, fully appreciating the stealthiness that so many Hogwarts students feared him for. Seeing a flight of stairs immediately in front of him, he crept up those, assuming that Potter would be in bed, as any sane person would.  
Snape silently checked each room. The first room he looked in appeared to be a guest room. The second room was devoid of people as well, though there was a computer, TV, VCR, and what looked like several Muggle game stations as well as an unmade bed. Scattered around the room were pictures of a large blonde boy being hugged and fawned over by a thin, blonde, horsey-faced woman and a very large man with a bushy mustache. Snape smirked.  
In the third bedroom, the bushy-mustached man was sleeping alone in a bed, thought there was clear evidence that another person lived in the room. Perhaps Potter's aunt and cousin were on a trip?  
  
It was the last room that Severus found curious. There were many locks on the door, it had a bare wooden floor, and the only pieces of furniture were a bed, a desk, and a wardrobe, all very battered. There was a large dent in the wall that looked as if something heavy had been thrown at it, and though the bed was empty, it had clearly been slept in sometime in the last few days. A trunk and an owl cage were the only personal items in the room, aside from scraps of parchment littering the desk. Surely, surely this wasn't Potter's room.  
With no sign of Potter upstairs, Snape wondered if he was with his aunt and cousin. He was down the stairs and about to go out the front door, when the owl, who he had just noticed was flitting about behind him, gave him a sharp peck. "Alright, alright, what is it?" The owl flitted over towards where the kitchen must be, but stopped in the middle of the hallway. "What are you doing?" the Potions Master asked the owl quizzically. She just hooted softly as if she was beckoning him. Sighing, Snape walked down the hallway. He realized that the owl was perched near a small cupboard, which was locked from the outside.  
*A locked broom cupboard?* Severus wondered. The owl hooted at him again. He looked disdainfully down at her when something dark and shining caught his eye. As he crouched down to examine what he recognized as blood- lots of blood-, he heard a snuffled, labored breathing through the door. Feeling slightly panicked, Snape slid the lock back hastily and opened the door.  
Squinting against the heavy darkness of the tiny cupboard, he pulled out his wand and whispered, "Lumos!". A beam of golden light suddenly penetrated the closet, and he caught sight of a small figure huddled in the corner in a shining pool of blood.  
Snape almost shouted, "What the hell?" but caught himself just in time so that all that came out was a choked, strangled noise. Gently picking up the blood soaked figure, he noted that Ha- Potter was pale and clammy. His eyes were, miraculously open and glazed, but he didn't seem aware of what was going on around him.  
"Dammit," Severus said softly. He immediately began weighing his choices for a quick departure to Hogwarts. He'd have to Apparate to Hogsmeade, there wasn't a Wizarding fireplace for miles. "Potter, can you hear me?" The boy's response was to cough up blood soaking both of them even more. Not a good sign. Snape decided that someone would have to come back for Potter's things. Clutching Potter with one arm and his wand with the other, Snape concentrated hard and Apparated to Hogsmeade.  
  
***********  
  
Harry was very surprised when he opened his eyes blearily to find himself still alive, but the next second, all emotion but pain was cut off from him as he felt the full effects of his uncle's actions. He tried to roll over, but found that he was quite incapable of moving more that a few inches. Breathing heavily from the simple effort of trying to move, Harry felt quite close to passing out and was more than willing to slip away when he heard a sound that made his heart stand still. He had just heard the hoot of an owl, and a muffled voice that was definitely not his uncle's.  
Concentrating hard, Harry heard it again. He knew that voice. He lay still for several moments when he heard a sound that was really a blessing, but a curse in his eyes- or, rather, ears. The door to his cupboard slowly swung open, and for a minute all he heard was the quiet breathing of other man in the vicinity. Then that same horribly familiar voice whispered, "Lumos." He felt the light hit him and wished he had the strength to curl up into a ball. The person took two steps toward him and picked him up, and Harry found himself staring at the blurry outline of a wizard. Through his haze of pain, Harry couldn't tell who the man was, but there was something familiar in the voice that asked, "Can you hear me, Potter?" When he opened his mouth to reply, all that came out was blood as he started coughing again. Then the world began to spin and he knew no more.  
  
***********  
  
A/N: Okay, I know this is a short chapter, but this just seemed like a good place to end it, so what can I say? Anyway, same story as before- the sooner you review, the sooner I update! I apologize for the editing problems with the first chapter, too- I'm using Microsoft word and it ends up funny on Fanfiction.Net. Ah, well, I did my best to fix it this time. Click on the purple/ blue/ whatever color it is button! PLEASE! 


	3. Discussions with Dumbledore

Suffering Chapter 3: Discussions With Dumbledore  
  
Disclaimer: Ok, class, now who here thinks I could've written the absolutely brilliant Harry Potter books?  
  
(Silence)  
  
What? You don't think I'm an amazing genius?  
  
(More silence)  
  
Well, you're right!  
  
Review responses: Again, thank you to all my wonderful reviewers!  
  
Katani Petitedra: Another reader? Yes! Don't worry, this story will be non-slash.  
  
Amber 16: I'm blushing! You people are so nice to me! Anyway, I've decided there will be no slash in this particular story. I'm a H/Hr fan myself, but I'm considering H/G.  
  
Saf-Saf: Thank you so much!  
  
Ckat44: I won't do slash in this story, don't worry. I'm just considering cutting but I will have to see what happens with this story. I really have no say, I am just being used to type the words.  
  
PadfootsNoxed: Another reader! I'm so excited! Thanks for the encouragement! People like you keep this story going.  
  
A/N: I'm sorry! I'm sorry this took so long! This chapter has been written forever, but I haven't had time to type it! I'm so sorry, but I've had, like 3 Chemistry tests in the last month and I have been getting, on average, 4 hours of sleep a night what with homework and getting up at 4:30 every other day. Plus, any spare time has been used practicing for upcoming instrumental auditions for my school band chair placement and for All State Honor Band.Believe me when I say I am a huge band geek. Once those things die down (like next week), I will hopefully be able to update more. Okay, I have decided that this story will not have slash because right now the majority of reviewers have said no slash. Don't worry, all you slash ralliers, I WILL write a slash story once I get to be a better writer. Also coming soon is a one-shot songfic to Brad Paisley's "Celebrity"- it's all about Harry going insane and becoming the big-headed, arrogant jerk Snape's always accused him of being.  
Okay, I realize this story's been pretty generic so far, but it will get more personalized as the story goes on- I promise!  
I'm reminding you guys now to review-pleeeeease! It's what keeps this story going. I think I've fixed it so non Fanfiction.Net members can review as well.  
Anyway, here's Chapter 3!!!  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Severus Snape arrived just outside the village of Hogsmeade with a small pop, Potter's owl still on his shoulder, the limp, bleeding form still in his arms. The boy was getting paler by the minute. Severus began running up to the front gates of Hogwarts, the owl quickly taking flight. He knew nobody would believe their eyes if they saw him. The Potions Master's normal bat-like appearance had been abandoned and he was scrambling up the muddy hill, panting and clutching an unconscious teenage boy. Not just any teenager, either. Potter- the bane of his existence.  
Reaching the gates, Snape shouldered his way through them and continued across the grounds, never slowing his pace, not caring that the boy's blood was drenching the front of his robes. He reached the front doors and burst inside the castle at a sprint. He passed a very-shocked looking Minerva McGonagall on the marble staircase in the Entrance Hall, but didn't begin to slow down until he reached the hospital wing.  
"Poppy!" he bellowed kicking the door open, gasping for breath. "POPPY!"  
The Mediwitch came out of her quarters adjoining the wing, wearing a dressing gown and rubbing her eyes. "What is it, Severus?" she asked irritably. "Have you any idea what time it-" she stopped mid sentence, spotting Potter. "Good gracious," she whispered, "what-?"  
"Heal now, questions later, if you will, Poppy," Severus cut her off quickly. "He's bleeding quite a lot."  
The witch immediately went into professional mode. She cleared away the blood that was covering Potter with a sweep of her wand and rolled back the sleeves of her dressing gown. "Oh, my," she said, staring at the deep throbbing wound in wound in the boy's side.  
"Severus," she said, ripping away what was left of the boy's shirt, pushing her hands into his side to stem the blood flow, "I'll need a Blood Replenishing Potion."  
Normally, the impatient Potions Master would've coldly told the woman he did not appreciate being ordered about, but the situation at hand was far from normal, and he hurried over to the Mediwitch's supply cupboards. He groaned when he opened them. There were at least a dozen unlabeled potions.  
He impatiently drew out his wand and cried, "Accio Blood Replenishing Potion!". At once, a vial filled with translucent purple liquid flew to his outstretched hand from the jumble. Checking it did, indeed, match the characteristics of a Blood Replenishing Potion, he sped back over to the Hogwarts nurse.  
"He's lost a great deal of blood," she said, now bandaging his wound, gauze flying from the tip of her wand like a long, white ribbon. Looking down at the boy, Severus was hit with the full extent of his injuries. He saw, for the first time, that Potter's left eye was nearly swollen shut and his face a mass of bruises The enormous gash in his stomach was very visible now, and he was getting paler by the second.  
Severus stared in shock as he silently uncorked the vial and poured it down the boy's throat. "How is he still alive?".  
Poppy looked quite as bemused as Severus felt. "I don't know," she said as she at last sealed his bandages magically. "He's always been a fast healer and had high resistance to pain, because he's got so much magical energy in his blood. "But to have survived with a wound this deep for as long as he did- I'm guessing at least 5 hours- there must be an incredible amount of magic in his system."  
"Now," she continued briskly, "since we've handled all the immediate procedures, I'm going to need an hour and a half alone to take care of him."  
"Fine. I need a word with Albus. Is he here?" the Potions Master was back to his cold, irritable self.  
"In his office, as far as I know," replied Pomfrey brusquely. "Now OUT!"  
Fearing that the Mediwitch might curse him, Snape hastily exited the hospital wing.  
Now that Potter was in Poppy's capable hands, Severus allowed himself to process what had happened in the last hour and a half. He couldn't believe he has just rescued Potter from his own house. His sense of urgency now faded and was replaced by shock. The events of the morning flew around his head in rapid succession. Potter's owl, covered in blood, practically attacking him in the middle of London, then finding Potter locked in a cupboard, just clinging to life. His numb shock was quickly replaced by anger. Why had Potter been locked in a cupboard? Why hadn't Albus known? Albus. He had to go talk to Albus.  
His feet carried him to the Headmaster's office before he knew what he was going to say to the man. Suddenly he was staring at the stone gargoyle flanking the entrance to Dumbledore's office.  
"Sugar Quill," said Severus shortly. Albus really needed to get off the sweets passwords, The stone gargoyle jumped off to the side. The Potions Master stepped onto the revolving staircase.  
The more he thought about it, the angrier he became. He didn't know how the boy had been hurt, but there was a limited number of ways, none of which Snape wanted to think about. Of course, the most probable and definitely most unpleasant idea was that Potter had suffered this fate at the hands of his relatives. However, the idea of the pampered Potter being abandoned and abused didn't fit the picture he'd always drawn of the boy in his mind.  
Of course, the more the shrewd Potions Master considered the thought, the more blaringly obvious the warning signs seemed. The boy was always painfully thin and tired-looking when he returned to Hogwarts from summer holiday, but would return to full health within a couple of days. He always signed up to stay at Hogwarts during Christmas and Easter holidays, and never looked happy, as the other students did, at the end of the year. In fact, Severus had overheard Minerva McGonagall and Albus talking. It seemed that Potter had asked to stay for the summer term, and had done so every year. More to the point, the boy always seemed to flinch when he was shouted at, and though his short fuse had occasionally blown, he rarely did anything to merit the punishments Severus had given him merely for being the son of James Potter.  
And- another thought had suddenly struck the man- when he had given the child Occlumency lessons, hadn't he expected to see parties and presents and friends, and nothing but a head full of happy memories? Hadn't he instead seen a neglectful family, a bullying cousin, and a sad little boy? It seemed, that Severus Snape, for one of those rare times in his life, had misjudged a person.  
And, as he thought of the Occlumency lessons, a very guilty thought struck him- hadn't he noted the sheer terror in the boy's eyes when he had taken him from the Pensieve? When he had angrily thrown Potter to the floor, and began throwing things at him, hadn't he wondered later about the speed with which the teen hurried from the room? The Slytherin began to stir angrily. They had all been blind. They hadn't wanted to see. Shouldn't he, Severus, have done something, having been rescued from a position parallel to Potter's not so long ago?  
A sudden grinding noise disrupted these very disturbing thoughts and he realized the staircase had stopped moving. Severus took a deep breath, fighting the anger rising in his chest, and knocked on the door. A moment later, the face of Albus Dumbledore appeared.  
"Severus!" he said, blue eyes twinkling benignly. "What a pleasant surprise! Just back from the Order meeting?"  
"Not quite," replied the Potions Master. Seeing Dumbledore's smile flicker slightly, he elaborated: "I had to make a slight detour. Let's step inside your office and I'll explain."  
Dumbledore nodded and stepped inside, his expression one of mild curiosity. "Yes, of course. Come inside, please. I must tell you, I haven't refurbished my office since Mr. Potter and I had that chat a couple of weeks ago."  
Snape just nodded and stepped over the threshold. There was a moment of silence as he took a chair in front of the Headmaster's desk, his dark eyes glittering as he observed the many empty tables on which whimsical, silvery instruments had once stood.  
"Of course," said the older man, "it would be very easy to simply repair everything, but I rather prefer my office this way. I never really needed any of those things that Mr. Potter smashed." The twinkle in the man's eyes seemed to dim.  
Severus, of course, knew all about Harry's little eruption, but when he had heard about it he had snorted. Trust the Boy-Who-Lived to have a temper tantrum that resulted in dozens of Galleons of damage.  
The Slytherin tiredly rubbed his eyes and Dumbledore looked at him in a gesture that was all too familiar, his penetrating blue eyes shrewd and calculating. After another minute's silence, Albus finally said, " I assume there is something you want to say? I can otherwise certainly think of a more convenient time to hold a staring contest."  
"Of course, Albus. I am just. collecting myself. It's been a long day."  
"What is this?" chuckled Albus. "The great Professor Snape, feared by all of the Hogwarts student body, showing signs of weariness?"  
The younger man did not smile. He was not in the mood for Albus's antics.  
"Albus," he finally said, "this morning, after the Order meeting, a certain owl caught my eye. This owl was quite insistent, and I found myself thinking, 'Now who would be writing to the Order who owns a snowy owl?'"  
"Mr. Potter," said Albus quietly.  
" I did indeed realize that it was Potter's owl. The bird would not leave me alone, until I realized that there was a copious amount of blood on the animal. It occurred to me that perhaps the bird wanted me to go to her master's aid. That in mind, I Apparated to the boy's house, and have you any idea what I found?" It was very hard work for Severus to keep his voice level at this point.  
Albus simply shook his head, concern beginning to show on his features. Suddenly Severus found he could no longer take it.  
" I found," he began, "Potter locked in a bloody cupboard. And you know what else?" The man's voice was rising, obsidian eyes dangerously angry. "He was bleeding. Bleeding everywhere. He almost died, Dumbledore. At this very moment, Poppy Pomfrey is doing her best to repair the damage that was caused by our bad decisions."  
The headmaster, throughout Severus's incredibly rare emotional outburst, remained calm, though those damned eyes lost any sign of a glimmer. "But Harry is alright."  
" I don't know, damn it!" he cried. "Had I been unfortunate enough to arrive in that house five minutes later, there would have been no saving the boy! It a miracle he survived. So yes, he's alive, no thanks to the Order."  
"Severus." the older man began in a warning tone.  
"Albus, do not give me your 'calm down' voice!" cried the Slytherin. "I HAVE NOT EVEN BEGUN BEING ANGRY! IF YOU REALLY WANT TO SEE ME RILED, ASK ME HOW I THINK THE BOY SUSTAINED THOSE INJURIES! GO ON! ASK!" The headmaster was met with a death glare.  
"Very well," said Albus cautiously. "How did he sustain those injuries?"  
For a moment, the younger man was taken aback by the headmaster's apparent attempt to humor him, but his confusion was short-lived and he immediately felt a new surge of rage at the man's attempt to make light of the subject. "HIS UNCLE! HIS BLOODY UNCLE!" breathing deeply, he continued with forced calm, "Now, of course, I do not know this for sure, but there are very few possibilities and this is the most likely scenario. So, in case you haven't grasped this yet, you left a young boy with a sadistic child abuser. And there's plenty of evidence that this was by no means an isolated incident."  
Dumbledore opened his mouth to speak, but Snape cut him off, saying, "You already know my views on this topic, Headmaster. I'm going to see how Poppy is coming along with him. I'm sure you'll want to let the Order know, and someone will have to retrieve his things from that place."  
With those words, Severus Snape did something he had never done before: he walked out of a room in the middle of a conversation with Albus Dumbledore.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
When Severus reached the hospital wing, he opened the door to see Poppy Pomfrey bending over the small form lying inept in the bed, still wearing her dressing gown and looking very exhausted.  
"Severus," she said, looking up. "You're back. I've just finished with him. I won't be able to fully heal that gash in his stomach for some time now, he's too weak right now. He broke his left leg in 3 different places, all the way up to his femur, but I can't fix that when his energy reserves are this low. It'll have to be in a Muggle cast until it is partially healed."  
The potions master just nodded. The nurse fidgeted for a moment before saying, "Severus, have you any idea what caused these injuries?"  
He glowered and said, "I've got a pretty good idea," rather maliciously. "I was rather hoping you would disprove my speculation."  
"Yes, well.this wound in his stomach is definitely a stab wound, and that's a disturbing thought."  
"Do you have any way of figuring out what it was he was stabbed with?"  
"I'm afraid not."  
The dark-eyed man nodded. "What were his other injuries?" he inquired.  
"Well, it was really quite alarming. He had 4 broken ribs, a concussion, severe bruising, as well as some infected cuts, and he hasn't eaten much of anything in the last 3 months. Also, there were some.interesting marks."  
"Show me."  
The Healer protested. "Now, wait a minute, Severus." she began.  
"Just show me," he growled menacingly.  
The woman sighed and nodded. "Show me what you make of this," she said, pulling back the boys sheets, which had been up to his chin.  
There were bandages wrapped around his stomach, but the boy's chest was bare. Snape couldn't help himself. He gasped and looked away, feeling sick. He hadn't seen those marks earlier. The boy's chest was covered with throbbing red welts, gashes, and scars.  
"Damned Muggles."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Poppy Pomfrey had seen many things in her years of service to Hogwarts, and she had saw Potter more in one year that she usually saw students in there entire schooling at Hogwarts, but never before had she seen a student as badly injured as Potter was. There had been several worry- filled moments when she hadn't been certain the boy would live.  
Apparently, the morning was to be full of surprises, because Severus Snape was actually acting human. He had helped her with no complaint, and had showed real, almost parental concern.  
Now the cold, heartless, feared-by-all potions master was sitting there by the boy's bedside, looking for all the world like an anxious father. His anger at the marks she had found on his back had been quite alarming indeed. At the present time, his head was buried in his hands, and he was muttering to himself.  
Even though this sight was one so different from the man who installed fear in the hearts of staff and student alike, Poppy couldn't trust him. She had told him the extent of the boy's injuries, but she wasn't going to let him know anything else. She was going to keep a very close watch on that man for a while. He had been a Death Eater, after all.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Albus Dumbledore was a very unsettled man. Following his talk with Severus, he had written a letter to the general Order.  
  
Alastor, Remus, Nymphadora, Arthur, and Molly,  
Harry is safe at Hogwarts. An emergency came up and he had to be removed from his aunt and uncle's sooner than expected. Don't worry if he doesn't write to you for a few days, I assure you he is safe.  
Albus Dumbledore  
  
He also wrote a letter to Harry's two best friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger.  
  
Mr. Weasley and Miss Granger,  
I am sure you are both very concerned about Harry. He is safe at  
Hogwarts. I will let you both know when you'll be able to see him. You  
may feel free to owl him at Hogwarts at any time.  
Albus Dumbledore  
  
After he had sent these two letters out the window of his office with his own owl, he sat back down at his desk and closed his eyes, resting his head in his weathered hands. After sitting like that for a full minute, he stood up again. He crossed his office and opened a cabinet in the corner of the room. He pulled out the Pensieve that Harry himself had seen into over a year and a half ago.  
He put his wand to his temple and pulled away a shining strand of thought. He added the strand to the silver substance already in the bowl and gave it a prod with his wand. The form of a fifteen-year-old boy rose slowly out of the bowl, revolving and speaking loudly.  
"Professor Dumbledore, I cannot go back there. I can't and I won't I'll stay at Hogwarts, I'll go to Order Headquarters, I don't care, just don't send me back to that awful house."  
"But," Albus whispered, recalling the conversation all too clearly, "you must see, Harry, that it is safer for you at your aunt and uncle's.  
"Sir," the silvery teenager said angrily, stressing the single syllable, I don't care. I can't go back there." Then the silver figure melted back into the pool of thought.  
"Harry," said Albus mournfully, "why didn't you tell anyone?"  
Had anyone been watching, they would have seen a tear trickling down the aged headmaster's face, something only witnessed twice before.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A/N: Sorry, I had to end it there or this chapter would've been about thirty pages. But, I assure you, chapter four is already written, just needs to be typed, and five is in the works, so please don't hurt me!  
Anyway, I am still toying with the idea of cutting but there will be no slash in this story. I don't mind reading it, but I just don't think it will fit with this story. I have also thought of making Harry sexually abused. Please give me feedback on this.  
I have one final request: PLEASE REIVEW! Just push "go"!  
I will resort to begging, but it won't be pretty, so you can save us both a lot of pain.  
Any ideas or requests will be greatly appreciated and carefully considered. 


	4. Nightmares

Suffering, Chapter Four: Dreaming  
  
Disclaimer: Hmm.yes, it belongs to me.everything belongs to me!!! It's mine, all mine!!! Okay, if you believed a word of that, stop reading now, find a good friend, and have them beat you over the head with a blunt object. Obviously, its not mine.  
  
WARNING: Language, violence, and OotP spoilers!!!  
  
A/N: When I saw how many people reviewed to Chapter 3, I started bouncing off the walls! I was so excited I thought to myself, "Self, why don't you update sooner to encourage people to review more?" And I replied to myself, "Well, Self, that is the best idea ever!" In short, thank you so much for all the reviews!!! I must admit, this isn't one of my favorite chapters, but it's necessary. It's been written for about 2 weeks.I'm a bit behind on my typing and updating! (ducks as rotten fruit is thrown from various readers) I'm sorry!  
Also, you may notice in the future chapters that Harry has tons of mood swings. I can explain that in 3 ways: 1) Harry's a teenager. Being in that pleasant stage of life myself, I can say that mood swings are a constant. 2) Harry's dealing with loss. When people deal with loss, their emotions get screwed up. 3) I have been traveling the great journey of "I- don't-know-what-the-fudge-I'm-feeling" lately, and though mainly I have been horribly depressed, I have also been feeling anger, apathy, and hysteria. Harry's moods are tending to reflect my own.  
  
Review Responses: Wow! So many! I almost died of happiness!  
  
Cinnamon Angel: Yes, it's true, I've become a Snape fan. I have to say, he's become on of my favorite characters, especially in fics. I mean, he can't be a jerk for no reason. I will be revealing some of his reasoning in later chapters. I'm very glad I'm making you like Harry. You made me like Draco!  
  
Siv, the elf: I know! Life's not fair to poor Harry!  
  
Layce74(): Thanks!  
  
Saturnine the Possessive: I don't understand what you mean. I promise, promise, promise, to write a slash story, but this one won't be unless I have more than half of the readers rallying for it, which, unfortunately, they're not. And it's not a Sev. Challenge if that's what you're worried about. My work intrigues you?? I'm honored! I love Firefly Darkness. I suppose you've got a good excuse for not updating. (turns to angry mob behind her) "No, no, not now. Put away the pitchforks. No, you CANNOT throw the potato at Saturnine! She says she's working on it. We'll find someone else to mob later!"  
  
Ahappyitm: Thank you! I promise I'm updating as often as possible!  
  
Maggie(): I have decided there will be no sexual abuse in this story. A lot of people have told me it's way over the top. I think they're right on this one.  
  
Katani Petitedra: I'm afraid.. Yeah, I've decided sexual abuse really wouldn't fit this story, so that one's a no.  
  
Jaycee(): Thanks. I swear (puts hand on OotP book) that it will get more personalized.  
  
Ankha: Hey! I've read your story GSFI! It's wonderful! Didn't you make Pomfrey evil in your story??? Umm.. I don't think I'll make her evil, but she doesn't trust our dear Sev. not many people do.I'm so glad you like my story! I'm doing my best to update, I really am.  
  
Wandering Wolf: Hmmm... I don't think any of those things will happen. I just can't see Harry getting a tattoo, and though I will try to show the Slytherins with more humanity that Rowling does, Malfoy is just too much of a Voldie-supporter. Harry really hates his relatives, and he is incredibly angsty, but he still hates Voldemort with a passion. I mean, if it weren't for our dear Voldie, Sirius wouldn't be dead ad Harry would have parents.  
  
KittenBabyGirl: Thank you! I am definitely doing my best to update! I'm angsting too.maybe a later story. Believe me, this story will still be angst -tacular.  
  
Fairygirl131129: The first time he cried was when he found out James and Lily were dead, yes. I may go into more detail on that later. I'm so glad you like my story!  
  
Cccc(): Thanks! I plan to update as often as possible!!!  
  
Jliles(): Thanks! I try!  
  
XSnapeLoverx: Sorry, it's not a Sevi. Challenge, but Snape will still be slowly feeling more compassion. Don't worry, it's not going to all of a sudden be, "I love you like a son, Harry!" and, "You're like a father to me!". By the way, I love your name.  
  
t.a.g.0: Cutting is a possibility, but right now it's about 75-25 for no cutting. And sexual abuse wouldn't work with this story.  
  
Yami no Hikari Hime: Um, yeah, no slash or abuse. That's something I have pretty much decided. No! PLEASE don't take my shiny foil!  
  
DarkJewel: That's a really interesting idea.have our dear Harry learn to become an Animagus.what kind of animal, though?  
  
DaughterofDeath: Short, but encouraging. Thanks!  
  
Megz2: Thanks much. I will try to update often.  
  
Chibi(): I'm sorry, but it looks as if this story will not be slash.  
  
Ckat44(): Thank you so much!!! I'm happy you're clapping for me. That sounds like something I would do! I am updating as often as possible, but ummm, well, when you're a band geek/ tennie/ Honors student/ thespian/ churchy-girl..well, it's hard to stay on top of things! (  
  
Saf Saf: Thanks! I was probably wrong, but I needed a password. Although "Cockroach Cluster" was a password in Harry's fourth year. Harry-Ginny is good. I am pushing for Snape as Main Character #2, but Remus will be very influential.  
  
Amber 16: Thanks. I can't believe you guys! You're way too nice to me! I'm getting a big head!  
  
Momma-dar: Thanks so much!  
  
Jules():Thanks!  
  
Me(): Thanks for the input. I don't intend to make it slash, abuse, or over PG-13.  
  
Carla Shaqui: Thanks! I don't think this story will have sexual abuse, though. A lot of people have said they don't like it. I will try fir Dumbledore and the Weasleys, but at this moment I am already drafting Chapter 6.  
  
Viskii: Thanks!  
  
Fickle: Thanks!!! I intend to keep at it! Oh, and why must Ginny die??? I was curious about your e-mail address.  
  
A/N: I am truly sorry if I have forgotten anyone. There were just so many of you!!!! On with Chapter 4!  
  
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Harry was having a very strange dream indeed. He again found himself running to the Department of Mysteries, as he had so often in his 5th year, but this time, instead of finding himself in the room with the Prophecies, he was in the room with that God-awful archway. He had a brief glimpse of the raised stone benches and fluttering black veil before the room began to melt away from him. He could no longer feel the floor supporting him. He was floating in a strange and almost erethreal silvery-white mist.  
As he watched two dim figures approached. He let out a choked noise when they drew nearer. He was standing face-to-face with his parents. Their mouths did not move, but he heard their voices, as if they were speaking to him from very far away. "Harry, we gave our lives for you, and look how you have repaid us. You couldn't even stand up to a Muggle man. You've failed us, Harry." "No," he attempted to cry out, but only a muffled sound came out, and his parents were rapidly fading. However, as quickly as his parents had faded, they were replaced with a single figure. Cedric Diggory's face swam into view. "Harry," his voice said mournfully, "you let Voldemort kill me. You're supposed to be able to defeat him. You let me die." Harry didn't even try to speak, because he couldn't deny anything Cedric had said. Cedric's form faded, and another appeared. The sight made Harry feel as though someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over his head. "Harry," said Sirius sadly, "you've killed me. I'll never see my name cleared, because you killed me." His dark eyes were accusatory. He faded, and then all four figures appeared. Sirius, Cedric, and his parents all leered at him, hissing, "Murderer. Murderer! Murderer!" "You've killed us, Harry!" said Lily. "You are no son of mine," said James.  
"No!" Harry cried out, finally finding his voice. "I'm sorry!"  
"Sorry won't bring us back to life, Harry," said Sirius sadly.  
"No!" he shouted again, but all four figures were dissolving rapidly and he was falling down through a cloak of heavy white fog.  
  
********************  
  
Severus, who had been in the hospital for the last four hours, just watching Potter sleep, was about to drowse himself when he noticed that the boy's breathing had changed. He was stirring slightly and making slight whimpering noises. Looking closer, Severus realized that his eyes were slightly open, but they were glazed and he seemed quite unaware of his surroundings. Instinctively, the Potions Master reached out and put a hand on the child's shoulder. He immediately regretted this decision, not only because it occurred to him that this was his enemy's child, but also because the boy recoiled, trembling.  
Pulling his hand back quickly, he had to give himself a little shake. He was going soft. Hearing a soft mumbling, Severus looked down and saw the boy beginning to toss and turn even more. Knowing he would have to get Madame Pomfrey, but not wanting to leave Harry's side, he reached down again and gently squeezed the boy's hand.  
*Damn,* said the little voice in his head, *you're acting like you care. You just called him Harry.*  
*I just want to make sure he's okay,* Severus argued with himself.  
*Sure.,* that infernal voice was so irritating.  
"Shut up!" he actually said out loud.  
  
****************************  
  
As Harry kept falling through the white fog that was shrouding him, it slowly darkened to gray. He found himself in the world where dreams and consciousness blended together. There was a strange sort of roaring in his ears. Even as he struggled, still free falling, he felt someone put a hand on his shoulder. He jerked away from the touch, thinking it was his uncle coming to punish him for making noise. An instant later, the pressure was released from his shoulder, and Harry felt enormous relief. Shadows started to for in the gray fog clouding his vision, colors began to swirl. As he struggled to focus, writhing around yet unable to control it, he felt someone squeeze his hand. At first, he wanted to recoil, but through his groggy brain, he realized that Vernon Dursley had never given him a reassuring hand- squeeze. An instant later, Harry felt pain ripping viciously through his stomach and sat bolt upright, very much awake.  
Dizzy from the sudden movement, Harry attempted to raise a hand to his pounding head, but was too weak. As his vision began to clear, so did his mind. Where was he? As an all too familiar smell of potions and disinfectant stung his nostrils, the realization hit him. The Hospital Wing. As his eyes finally stopped swimming, he realized he could scarcely see because he wasn't wearing his glasses. However, that didn't stop him from recognizing the sallow-faced, hook-nosed man sitting next to him, still squeezing his hand.  
Suddenly, a rush of memories came back to him. His uncle stabbing him. Being dragged to the cupboard while his uncle laughed insanely. Laying, dying, on the floor of his cupboard, coughing up blood.  
At this, Harry panicked. How much did they know? Ripping his hand away from that of his least favorite professor, he swung his legs off the bed. Everything was out of focus, but he had no idea where his glasses were and couldn't care less. Standing up very quickly, pain shot up his leg and he realized he was wearing a Muggle cast.  
Glaring at Snape, who he could vaguely tell looked mildly alarmed, he trued to ask what the hell was going on, but instead began coughing violently. Raising his hands to his mouth by instinct, he felt warm, sticky blood drenching his fingers.  
Standing up, Snape said, "You really shouldn't be standing on that leg."  
Choking back blood, Harry managed to rasp out, "Why am I in here?"  
"Obviously, because you're injured," the older man said, impatience beginning to show on his features.  
"How did I get here?" he demanded angrily.  
"That will be explained later. It is my turn to ask you a question," said Snape with a look of forced calm. "How did you get those injuries?"  
Harry snorted, while desperately thinking up a lie. "Why do you care?"  
"Answer my question first."  
"I fell down some stairs."  
  
"You got that gash in your stomach by falling down some stairs.?"  
"There was a vase at the foot of the stairs. I landed on it. It broke into sharp shards and slashed open my stomach."  
Snape looked furious now. "Don't lie to me. I know you're lying. I found you locked in a cupboard, bleeding to death. I'll find out the truth. I'll use Veritaserum if I have to." He whispered all of this in a dangerous undertone.  
"I'm not telling you anything else," he replied angrily. "I've already told you the truth. You'd think I would know, seeing as how I was, um, there." He made to walk away, but the room was suddenly spinning. Looking up at the Slytherin professor, he saw that the man was pointing his wand at him.  
"I hoped it would be easier than this," he said, almost regretfully. "Stupefy!"  
  
************************  
  
Severus felt terrible. He hadn't wanted to stun the boy, but he had feared he would become a harm to himself otherwise. As much as he hated the thought of giving Potter Veritaserum. He had to find out what was wrong with the boy. He reached a hand in his robes and fingered the vial of Truth Serum that he always carried with him. He thought briefly of giving it to the boy right then, but faltered. If Potter had been abused, than it would not be helpful for him to be forced into telling his darkest secrets. A sedative potion might calm him down enough into telling the truth.  
Sighing, Severus stood up to go down to his storeroom and retrieve a sedative potion.  
  
***********************  
  
Remus Lupin was still sitting at the kitchen table of Grimuald Place, nearly 5 hours after the Order meeting ended. He had finally fallen asleep at the table, only to be waken up by the usual nightmares of his best friend's death. Just as he was about to drift off to sleep again, he heard a tapping on an upstairs window. With a resigned sigh, he got up and went to locate the owl that was sure to be the source of the noise. He wondered who would have anything to write so early in the morning before he realized that it was after eight in the morning. Finding the owl rapping on a grungy drawing room window, he let it is. It had two letters, both addressed in Albus Dumbledore's familiar hand: one to the Order, and one to Ron and Hermione. Picking up the letter to the Order as the bird swooped over to the window, he slit it open and read,  
  
Alastor, Remus, Nymphadora, Arthur, and Molly,  
Harry is safe at Hogwarts. An emergency came up and he had to be removed from his aunt and uncle's sooner than expected. Don't worry if he doesn't write to you for a few days, I assure you he is safe.  
Albus Dumbledore  
  
These unsettling words in his mind, Remus set the second letter aside.  
"An emergency came up?" he read aloud to himself. "What kind of emergency?" Why do you always do this, Albus?"  
Sighing, he decided to try and get some sleep. He knew there was supposed to be an Order meeting that afternoon, but maybe he'd be able to get three or four hours' worth.  
He had just walked out of the drawing room and shut the door behind him when he saw Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley coming up to him  
"Has Harry written lately?" asked the female Gryffindor anxiously, bushy hair almost seeming to crackle with electricity.  
"Yesterday, but it wasn't any different from the others," said Remus. The girl's face fell.  
"But," he continued, "I did get a letter from Dumbledore addressed to you two just now." He held out the letter and Hermione took it anxiously and tore it open, the gangly redhead reading over her shoulder.  
She looked up at Remus, a rare look of bewilderment on her face, and silently handed him the letter. It was along the same lines as the one to the Order.  
"I'll let you know when you can come and see him?" Ron said, looking even more confused than Hermione.  
Remus made a face. "That's it," he said. "I'm going to Hogwarts to speak to Dumbledore. Tell Molly where I've gone."  
With a loud pop, he Disapparated.  
  
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Harry woke feeling curiously groggy and limp, an awful taste lingering in the back of his throat. Blinking blearily and with a great deal of difficulty, he sat up to see the Potions Master staring pensively at him and an empty vial on the bedside table. His eyes widened.  
"What did you do?" he asked, noticing that he felt a calm sleepiness.  
"I merely gave you a sedative. You can't be moving around on those injuries. Now, I'm going to give you one more chance to tell me the truth before I use Veritaserum. How did you get those injuries? I know you lied to me earlier."  
Harry sighed, his mind working fast. "Alright," he said, doing his best to arrange his face in a defeated expression. "I was lying before. I didn't fall down the stairs." Snape gave a satisfied smirk.  
"I got in a Muggle fight."  
The expression on the man's face would've made Harry laugh had he not been concentrating so hard on lying. "What?"  
"I got in a Muggle fight. One of the Muggles stabbed me. Luckily, I was fairly close to my aunt and uncle's house. I was able to get there, but once I was inside I didn't think I could make it up the stairs. It was late and I didn't want to wake anybody up, so I crawled into that cupboard." Looking up, Harry discovered that Snape's face was twisted with rage. He picked up the empty vial at the boy's bedside and threw it against the wall. It shattered, and Harry winced at the outburst.  
"Would you quit lying? We're trying to help you, for God's sake!" With those words, he stormed out of the Hospital Wing, leaving a silently trembling Harry.  
  
*****************************  
  
Severus was angry. The boy kept lying, and to assume that he wouldn't be able to tell was an insult to his intelligence. However, he couldn't help but feel ashamed of his outburst. He hadn't missed Potter's reaction when the glass vial shattered.  
He walked over to his desk and picked up the Veritaserum he had left there earlier. He knew he couldn't use it at the same time as the sedative; the two combined could put a wizard into a comatose state. He'd have to wait a few hours, but then he would know the truth.  
  
*******************************  
  
Remus appeared just outside the Hogwarts grounds, unknown to him, much like the way Severus had just hours earlier. He did not sprint, as the Potions Master had, rather he sighed heavily and slowly began climbing the grassy slope, thinking deeply all the while. Why was Albus so evasive?  
"Harry's fine, there was an emergency, but don't worry," he muttered darkly to himself. "Honestly, Albus."  
Reaching the castle doors, he paused a moment before pushing them open. He couldn't help but notice how eerily empty the castle seemed. His footsteps echoed loudly off the stone walls. His feet were taking him to Albus's office on auto-pilot, and he allowed his mind to wander.  
He was a floor below the stone gargoyle guarding the entrance to Dumbledore's office when his when his musings were cut off as he ran into a very solid person.  
"Do try and watch your step, Lupin," said Severus irritably. "What are you doing at Hogwarts?"  
"Actually, I was looking for Albus," he said conversationally.  
For some reason, Severus's eyes flashed at the mention of the headmaster's name, who he had always held in very high regard. "he's in his office, as far as I know," sneered the man ill-temperedly, brushing around Remus without another word.  
Remus stared after him for a moment before he remembered what he was doing.  
Once he reached the entrance to Dumbledore's office and gave the password, which Order members always had, to the stone gargoyle, Remus felt real worry for the first time. Of course Albus's not had concerned him, but he was just starting to consider all the awful reasons that Harry could be at Hogwarts.  
He felt his need to talk with Albus grow more and more urgent as he waited for the revolving staircase to reach its destination.  
When the staircase finally came to a grinding halt, it was a heavy- hearted and quite reluctant Lupin who knocked on the headmaster's door.  
A few moments later, the face that was normally lit by twinkling eyes and a benign smile appeared, but worry was etched on every line of the man's face. He looked weary and tired.  
"Ah, Remus," he said genially. "What a pleasant surprise. Come in, come in." Remus was ushered in and took a seat in front of Albus's desk.  
"Albus," he said, quite without preamble, "What was that letter about? Why is Harry here? Is he OK? How-"  
"Remus," headmaster patiently interjected, "slow down. Harry is.well, he is alive. That letter was quite useless, but I had to let you know that Harry won't be writing the Order for a few days. As for why he is here, well, he is injured. You will have to ask Harry more about that."  
"When can I see him?" Remus asked impatiently.  
"Not for awhile. I think we should give him time. I will let the Order, as well as Mr. Weasley and Ms. Granger, know when Harry will be up to having visitors."  
"Once he.recovers," Remus asked slowly, " will he be able to come to Grimuald Place?"  
"I think," said the Headmaster slowly, "that he may have to remain at Hogwarts for awhile. We shall have to see."  
A sudden thought struck the younger man. "Albus," he said, "Harry's birthday us in a week. Surely we'll be able to give him a party?"  
Albus smiled. "I suppose that can be allowed. He should be ready for visitors by then."  
Remus nodded slowly. "So, how did he get here?"  
"Well, Severus says he was leaving the Order meeting this morning when Harry's owl attacked him. He noticed the owl had blood on her, and thought it might be a good idea to check up on him."  
"And." Remus pressed.  
"And," Dumbledore continued hesitantly, "he found a very out of sorts Harry. His immediate reaction was to bring him here."  
"Out of sorts?"  
"You'll have to ask Harry himself, perhaps later today you will be able to speak with him. I myself haven't talked to him yet. For now, return to the Order. Tell Harry's friends to plan a surprise party."  
Dumbledore's tone left no room for argument, so a heavy-hearted Remus walked back to Hogsmeade and Disapparated.  
  
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A/N: Okay, so another chapter too long in the making finally out. I, as always, apologize for the delay, but nyeh, whatcha gonna do? I have been feeling completely crappy lately, so I might decide to just back off on the writing, but it's not likely. Chapter 5 is already drafted, and it is 28 handwritten pages. Of course, this chapter was 9 ½ pages typed, but about 2 ½ of those pages were review responses. (beams at reviewers) So, I hope the incredibly long upcoming chapter is sufficient motivation for another round of fantastic reviews! 


	5. The Truth Comes Out

Suffering, Chapter 5  
  
Disclaimer: Yeah, Harry Potter belongs to me. The internet, that's another brainchild of mine. Oh, and did I tell you about how I own the Disney Corporation? Yup! I'm THAT smart, rich, and successful!  
  
(Laughter)  
  
Okay, so that's a lie. I OWN NOTHING! Not Harry Potter, not the internet, not Disney, not even this shirt I'm wearing that I stole form my sister! So don't sue me!  
  
A/N: Another chapter finally coming out. I have no clue how long it will take to type, but it was 26 pages handwritten, so. Anyhow, another truckload of reviews from my loyal readers. (Have I told you guys how happy reviews make me? Last chapter I was dancing around my house as I checked my reviews.at midnight!) But before I do review responses, I have a few things to say. There will be much more Harry POV in the coming chapter. I realize I've been skipping POVs a lot, but it's been necessary. Expect Ron or Hermione POV soon, maybe even Ginny. Anyway, I don't know about you guys, but to me this story seems to be moving incredibly slowly. I swear I will pick up the pace, but there's so much going on. As always, constructive criticism and requests are greatly appreciated!  
  
Review responses:  
  
Daughter of Death: Thanks for reviewing!  
  
BipolarGirl: Thanks! I've stayed up late-errr..early .to read Harry abuse fics as well! To say that I live them is an understatement! I thrive off them!  
  
Zorra: Oh, the enthusiasm!  
  
Viskii: In regards to the Stunning, Snape isn't that patient. I may have overdone it, but here's my reasoning: He's tired, he's angry, he's been rather pissed off since Voldemort's return anyway, and all the beliefs he had about Harry Potter dissolved in about 2 minutes. He hated Harry's dad, but he doesn't want to admit that that's why he hates Harry. He's been using the excuse that Harry is pampered and spoiled and selfish and overconfident. He finds out it's no true and rather than become all compassionate (because it's Severus Snape we're talking about now) he snaps. He's confused, and we all know how much our dear Severus likes being confused.  
  
Saf-Saf: Well.Snape is using Veritaserum! I've had this chapter written forever, and I don't know how else Snape is going to find out, because the angsting, teenage Harry isn't going to break down and admit this to him. I am doing my best to keep Snape in character for all of this- we're going to chalk it all up to the fact that he hasn't slept in the last 48 hours or so.  
  
Lady Lightning: Yeah, Harry doesn't seem like the type to lie so bluntly, but look at it this way: Harry is ashamed that he couldn't stand up to a Muggle-I mean he's supposed to be this great hero. Also he thinks he deserved it because of OotP. Also, after Padfoot died, he just doesn't care anymore.  
  
Serpent of Light: Thanks!  
  
Padfoot(): Don't worry, I don't find it rude, I find it encouraging.  
  
KittenBabyGirl: Hmmm.that is a little contradictory. Oh, well. I am also one of those psychos who is made happy by angst.  
  
Katani Petitedra: Wow! I swear, we have got to be related, considering that we are both erm. a little crazy.  
  
DoctorRuth126: Thanks! I'm glad you like what I've got going with Sev.  
  
Beaury7890102: You will see in this chapter how Sev finds out the truth. It's a long one!  
  
Angel of Darkness 4584: Thanks! I'm so flattered!  
  
Quickjewel: Wow I got 3 reviews from you! Are you offering to beta for me? I think I have FINALLY fixed the format!  
  
Mikee: Snape definitely has plans in store for Vernon. The whole Order plans to swoop down on him.  
  
Layce74(): Once this story stops moving so slow (blame the muses), the Dursley's will get theirs.  
  
Skysong1: Thnks. Yeah. I'm pure evil.  
  
StarWest45: Yeah, I will write the others in soon! I just have to get this story moving! It seems really slow to me.  
  
Iniysa: Thanks!  
  
Ginnygal 189: Thanks!  
  
Ahappyjtm: Awww! My story makes you dance, and you're willing to wait for updates! You are the perfect reader!  
  
Ckat44: Yeah I figured out that something was wrong once I looked at my chapter..but I am lazy! One of these days, I'll get around to fixing everything up.one of these days.  
  
POtASSIUM: I blush! All I can say for why I write the way I do is that I have been reading every book I can get my hands on since I was 4 or 5. Sorry the updates are slow-moving, but I've got much more than this written.it's typing that's the problem.  
  
Wynjara: Yes, angst can be quite lovable, can't it?  
  
Becky: Here, I added more. (winces) So I am a super-slacker when it comes to updating..  
  
Cinnamon Angel: Okay, you win longest review award! (holds out rubber duckie-shaped trophy) Why is it a rubber duckie, you ask? Because ducks are a symbol of all that is good in the world!! Anyway, I'm sorry I didn't check your story right away! I guess I got so used to you not updating that I stopped checking. Okay, that was mean.And no, I didn't like Draco before. I thought he was a prick. Your story makes him much more likable. And you are right- lunatics shall rule the earth! Muahaha.  
  
A/N: Okay, so many reviews! Not that I'm complaining! Oh, before I start the chapter I am now using bold letters to show thought because I can't get italics to transfer from word to fanfiction.net. Nyeh.  
  
And here starts.(dun dun dun)... Chapter 5!  
  
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Harry had been laying back staring lethargically at the ceiling, trying to keep himself calm, for about ten minutes after Snape had left when Madame Pomfrey came bustling out, looking rather tired.  
  
"Oh, good, you're awake," she said briskly.  
  
Harry said nothing, just kept staring at the ceiling. The nurse tutted at him. Normally, Harry would have been demanding to know how much longer he would have to be cooped up in the Hospital wing, but he realized he no longer cared.  
  
"Drink this," she said simply holding out a vial.  
  
"Harry started to ask what it was as he sat up, but his question was cut off as he gasped from a sudden, piercing pain in his stomach that hadn't been there earlier.  
  
"Oh, dear," said the nurse, noticing. "I'll need to get you another Pain-Reducing Potion. That," she said, as a pale-faced Harry regained his composure and held his hand out for the vial, "is a Blood Replenishing Potion."  
  
Harry took the opened vial and downed it in one unpleasant gulp. An instant later, Madame Pomfrey had walked away and returned with another potion. She held it out and he took it, again downing it quickly.  
  
"So," the nurse said with an air of motherly disapproval, as Harry sank back down onto the hospital bed, "I suppose you'll want to know what your injuries are and how long I'll have you here."  
  
"To be honest, Madame Pomfrey, I really would rather be left alone," said the teenager flatly.  
"I'm afraid that's not an option, because the Headmaster wishes to speak with you," said the woman, rather taken aback by Harry's apparent lack of emotion.  
  
Harry, who would have been overjoyed had the headmaster so much as made eye contact with him the year before, felt a surge of anger flare up inside him. "Well, I don't want to talk to him! I don't want to talk to anybody!" Without another word, Harry rolled over to face the wall.  
  
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Ron and Hermione waited anxiously in the kitchen of #12 for Remus Lupin to get back from Hogwarts. Ron could tell that Hermione was nervous; she kept sighing and playing with the hem of her shirt, and her bushy hair seemed to crackle with electricity because she kept running her hands through it.  
  
"Hermione," Ron counseled gently, "relax! I'm sure Dumbledore would have told us if something was terribly wrong."  
  
" Yes," she began, "but what if Dumbledore was just trying to keep us from going to Hogwarts along with Lupin?"  
  
"Look," said Ron patiently, "what you really need to do is take your mind off things. I need to get started on that History of Magic essay."  
  
Hermione's eyes usually lit up at the mention of reading or schoolwork, but for once she seemed completely uninterested. Rolling her eyes, she said, "Oh, please, Ron. Homework isn't going to take my mind off the fact that we have no idea what is wrong with our best friend!"  
  
Ron cowered. "Sorry, Hermione, just an idea," he put his hands up defensively.  
  
She was scowling at him when a loud pop announced Lupin's presence. Startled, the bushy-haired girl shrieked and jumped backwards.  
  
"Did I startle you?" asked Remus innocently.  
  
"Just.just a little," muttered Hermione, cheeks flushed, as Ron grinned. "Never mind," she said quickly, throwing the redhead a scathing look. "Just tell us what's going on already! Is Harry okay? Is he hurt? What did Dumbledore say? Have you seen Harry?" All of this was asked in quick succession.  
  
"Slow down!" said Remus, looking rather alarmed. "from what little Albus told me, Harry's okay, but as the Headmaster chose to put it, 'out of sorts'. I haven't talked to Harry. I haven't even seen him. Dumbledore says that after the Order meeting ended this morning, Professor Snape was leaving when an owl he recognized as Harry's swooped down on him, apparently very agitated. Severus thought it might be wise to check on Harry and found him 'out of sorts'. That's all he told me." The man gave a tired sigh and slumped back into his chair dejectedly.  
  
Ron, meanwhile, gave a snort of disbelief. "Snape saved Harry? How do we know Snape wasn't in a foul mood and didn't just decide to curse him?"  
  
"Really, Ron, how many times have you said that exact same thing, only to have it come back and bite you in the a-," Hermione stopped quickly, her cheeks now a deep crimson, a hand clamped firmly over her mouth. Slowly, she lowered her hand, throwing Ron, who was now trembling with silent laughter, another dirty look. "I mean, how many times have you said that, only to come out looking like a fool when Snape tried to save Harry's life?"  
  
"Anyway," said Ron, eager to change the subject, "what does he mean, 'out of sorts'? That could mean anything! Why doesn't he ever tell anyone what's going on?"  
  
Hermione just looked at Remus again. "When can we see him?" she asked suddenly.  
  
"Albus says we may plan something for his birthday."  
  
"But that's not till next week!" blurted out Ron.  
  
"Yes," said Remus sadly. "The headmaster feels it would be best to leave Harry alone for awhile. I don't know what happened, but it's clear that Albus thinks he's been traumatized."  
  
The two teenagers just stared at him.  
  
"Hey," said Remus, "what're we waiting for? Someone get Gred and Forge- err, Fred and George, I'm sure they'd be more than happy to help us plan a party!"  
  
*************************  
  
Poppy Pomfrey sat in her office, poring listlessly over her paperwork. Every so often, she would glance through her open door to the end of the Hospital Wing where Harry Potter lay motionless. Awake, by all means, but he had refused to speak to anyone, save a few words with her earlier. He had waken over an hour ago, and had been staring transfixed at the ceiling the entire time. It seemed he had fallen back asleep as he tossed and turned, muttering words the nurse couldn't quite grasp. He began to thrash violently, and she hurried over to his bedside, Sure enough, his eyes were closed. Poppy was now close enough to her the boy's muttering, aided by the fact that his words were slowly becoming more and more audible.  
  
"No," moaned the pitiable figure. "Please, no." he faded off, shuddering.  
  
Poppy couldn't just stand there, but she knew from experience that the boy couldn't be physically roused without a spell. She went to her office to retrieve her wand, which she had foolishly left there.  
  
By the time she had returned with her wand, as well as a Dreamless Sleep Potion for Harry's use, his face was white and he was clutching the sheets. He suddenly cried out in pain.  
  
"Please stop, Uncle Vernon!"  
  
Poppy gave a sudden start and nearly dropped the vial. Had the boy's home life really been so brutal that it caused him nightmares?  
  
As the child began thrashing again, the nurse drew out her wand and whispered softly, "Ennervate."  
  
Blinking wearily, Harry sat up and looked around frantically. He relaxed as soon as he realized where he was and laid back down.  
  
"You were having a nightmare," said Poppy quietly. "There's some Dreamless Sleep Potion there on the table, should you decide to go back to sleep."  
  
The teenager just nodded at her, eyes blank and empty once again. As she turned on her heel to head back to her office, she thought she heard a sort of snuffling. She had just gotten immersed in her paperwork when she heard the door open.  
  
Standing up quickly, she glanced towards Harry to see that he hadn't reacted to the loud noise before turning her attention to the door.  
"Good morning, Albus, what brings you here?"  
The headmaster gave a sad sort of smile. "I was wondering if I could have a moment to speak with Mr. Potter."  
  
"Of course," she said. "He's right over here." She led Albus over to the bed where Harry still lay motionless. "I'll just leave you two at it then," she said, heading to her office. "Good luck," she whispered to the headmaster as she passed him.  
  
Without a second look behind her, Poppy shut the door to her office. Something told her she didn't want to witness the conversation to come.  
  
************************************  
  
The instant he woke from his nightmare, Harry panicked. Had he been screaming again? Had he waken his uncle up?  
  
Opening his eyes, it took him about three seconds to come to the grateful realization that he wasn't at Privet Drive. That realization was followed by the memory of his brief talk with Severus Snape.  
  
Harry had just begun to fall back into his silent lethargic state when he heard the door open. He knew it was probably someone that wanted to talk to him, maybe Snape returning with Veritaserum, but he didn't care. He didn't care about anything anymore.  
  
He heard Madame Pomfrey bustling about, but still refused to take his eyes off the ceiling. A minute later, after a brief exchange between the nurse and the visitor, who was evidently Dumbledore, the headmaster's face appeared over him.  
  
"Hello, Harry," he said. Harry remained silent, although he felt a sudden flare of anger at the mere sight of the elderly man. However, he chose to embrace the fact that he felt anything at all. Dumbledore seemed to take Harry's silence as an indication that he was listening.  
  
"I was wondering," he pressed on gently, "if you wanted to talk about anything.  
  
Harry continued his stony silence, refusing to look at the man who had sent him back to hell. He had dealt silently with his home life for fifteen years, so what made the headmaster think he was suddenly going to open up?  
  
Almost as if the obstinate man's penetrating gaze had seen the depths of his mind, Dumbledore asked, "How did you get those injuries, Harry?"  
  
When Harry again refused to answer, the older man decided to switch tact.  
  
"Well," he said, "you will be pleased to know that your lifelong Quidditch ban has been revoked, and, if you wish, you are free to play for Gryffindor again. Your broom was removed from Professor Umbridge's office at the end of last year, and has been at the castle since."  
  
Harry felt his rage at the man magnified ten fold. Before he realized what had happened, he was on his feet, unsteady on his mismatched legs. Clearly the sedative had worn off, or perhaps it had not been strong enough.  
  
"Stop it!" he cried. "Stop acting like everything's okay- like it's- it's NORMAL! You're talking about Quidditch and broomsticks like everything's fine! Stop acting like you understand me! Don't you even care that he's dead?"  
  
Harry stopped shouting, breathing heavily, his eyes blurred with tears. Staring at the man in front of him who remained calm, he somehow managed to sprint out of the hospital wing despite his cast. He kept running and didn't slow down until he ran into a very solid person, who unfortunately happened to be Severus Snape.  
  
***********************  
  
Severus was in a foul mood, even by his standards. After a useless meeting, severe lack of sleep, finding Potter and then having to hear Potter's lies, he was virtually a walking explosion. Therefore, he was none too happy when a small figure collided with him about two corridors away from the hospital wing.  
  
Severus, feeling very short-tempered, looked around and snarled violently, "Watch where you're going!" It was then that he realized it was Potter who had run into him. The boy was now collecting himself, cast and all, and cowering in fear.  
  
Snape opened his mouth to say calming words, but before he could, the crumpled teenager began to apologize frantically. Rocking back and forth, he shuddered and cried out, "I'm sorry, Uncle Vernon." . The begging was enough to pluck at even Snape's frozen heartstrings.  
  
When he bent down to calm him, he noticed Harry was still wearing only bandages on his upper body. The strangeness of Poppy allowing one of her patients to walk around on a leg that was not fully healed and without the help of a cane or crutch also struck Severus. He conjectured that the younger wizard had run from the Hospital Wing for some reason or another.  
  
Bending down, Severus gently shook the child, but he seemed to be having a sort of seizure. Trembling violently, he suddenly heard a scream to chill his blood. He had heard those kinds of screams before, on nights that haunted his memories and plagued his dreams. Potter's screams were the screams of a tortured victim, screams that always made him remember his Death Eater days.  
  
Forgetting his earlier anger, Severus only felt a rare surge of pity as he sank to the floor and held the sobbing Harry. After several seconds, he began to take deep breaths, and his shuddering slowed.  
  
After a moment, he raised his head and seemed to realize that the Potions Master was comforting him. Moving away, the chalk-white teenager rolled to his hands and knees and began to vomit violently.  
  
After several seconds, he slowly sat back on his heels and wiped his mouth. Standing up, he said to the professor, who was halfway to his feet and reaching for his wand, "I'm sorry. I'll clean it up."  
  
The older man said nothing, just raised an eyebrow at Harry and muttered, "Scourgify." Instantly, the stone floor was clean again.  
  
The teenager gazed up at him blankly. "Sorry," he whispered. "I had a flashback."  
  
"About what?"  
  
"Voldermort's return."  
  
Snape knew the boy was lying, but the green eyes-Lily's eyes- remained amazingly blank. His bad mood returning, he said sarcastically, "Oh? Is the Dark Lord now going by the alter-ego 'Uncle Vernon'?"  
  
A slight twinge of guilt swirled in Harry's eyes, but he was spared answering when Madame Pomfrey came zooming towards him faster than one would have thought possible.  
  
"Mr. Potter!" She shrieked like a banshee. She may not have noticed the boy jump back and flinch at her tone, but Severus did.  
  
Trembling, Harry began to apologize but the nurse stopped him. "Just come on. Wait, no, you shouldn't even be walking." The witch waved her wand and conjured a stretcher. She looked at the boy expectantly. "Well, what are you waiting for, boy?"  
  
Potter, for some reason, flinched at the way the nurse addressed him, though her tone wasn't violent. He began to protest, muttering, "I can walk fine."  
  
"Potter," said Severus, "get on the stretcher, or I will make you." He did not miss the fear that briefly flickered into his eyes, but Snape was much too impatient to care. Harry looked as though he would very much like to flee again, but hadn't the energy for it. He slowly began to limp towards the stretcher, but he collapsed and fell to the floor.  
  
"Severus." Poppy pleaded. He nodded reluctantly and slid his arms under Harry, lifting him up. He was incredibly light for a sixteen-year-old boy. Severus figured he weighed what someone half his age should. The child flinched, for the third time in several minutes, at the mere touch of the Slytherin's hands. Fighting the urge to dump the boy back on the floor, Severus lowered him onto the stretcher.  
  
The tiny spark of life that had shot up in the Gryffindor was extinguished, his eyes blank again. He sat, rather than laid, on the stretcher, suddenly seeming quite indifferent to his surroundings.  
  
Once the unlikely trio was back at the hospital wing, Madame Pomfrey had Severus lower Harry onto the hospital bed. Dumbledore was nowhere in sight.  
  
"I thought Albus was here," remarked Snape casually.  
  
"He was, but when he tried to talk with Harry, Harry started shouting and ran away. Albus hurried to inform me, then left.  
  
Severus nodded and walked away towards the door of the ward. He pulled out his wand and traced the doorframe, whispering a few well-chosen words. A burst of blue light shot out of his wand and momentarily framed the door before melting into the woodwork.  
  
Turning back to Potter, he said, "That was an alarm spell. Both Madame Pomfrey and myself will know if you attempt to leave this ward."  
  
The boy stared at him. "Fine," he said, quite without emotion.  
  
"Now," interjected the nurse, "you haven't eaten properly in some time and you are dangerously underweight." She waved her wand and a bowl of oatmeal appeared, floating in midair.  
  
"I'm not hungry, thanks."  
  
Severus growled, losing any remaining trace of patience. "Eat it, or I will force you to."  
  
The boy stubbornly refused to touch the food.  
  
"Very well, it's your choice. Poppy." He nodded at her and grabbed the bowl.  
  
The mediwitch looked highly affronted. :He is my patient, Severus."  
  
"Yes, but you will not force him to eat, which is what he needs. I will, and I need to be the only one in the room with him. You can watch from your office for all I care." The woman looked as though she felt quite wrong-footed, but went into her office and shut the door.  
  
Severus glared at the stony-faced child before him. "I will give you one more chance before I force-feed you." He held out the bowl. Potter just stubbornly pushed it away. "As you wish." Snape dipped the spoon in the oatmeal and held it less than a centimeter away from the child's mouth. He ignored it. Sighing, the older man pinched the boy's nose shut. Surprised, Harry did nothing for several seconds, before opening his mouth and gasping for breath. Seizing the opportunity, he shoved the oatmeal into Harry's mouth and released his nose.  
  
"Chew," he commanded. The teen did as he was told. "Swallow." Harry gulped, still glaring at Severus, who stared right back at him. "Now, shall we repeat this process, or will you eat on your own?"  
  
His response was silence, but the boy took the bowl and began eating. He ate several bites with excruciating slowness before setting the bowl down wordlessly.  
  
"That will do for now," said the Potions Master sternly. "There are a few things I want to make very clear to you. Are you listening?"  
  
Something flickered briefly in the child's eyes, but they immediately became blank again. He nodded dully.  
  
"Good," said the professor curtly. "First off, you are not to lie. This means to Madame Pomfrey, the headmaster, or myself. We need to know how you got those injuries, but we are not going to question you further than necessary. You know I could just as easily use Veritaserum, but I don't want to. Furthermore, as you know, I am to continue giving you Occlumency lessons. Professor Dumbledore believes it would be useful for you to make a Pensieve."  
  
As the older man spoke, he noticed that Potter's face remained passively blank.  
  
"So," said the Slytherin, "how did you get those injuries?"  
  
"Well, you see, there was this bull-fighting accident.". The boy hardly spoke above a whisper, but the sarcasm in his tone was quite clear to Severus.  
  
In an instant, Severus was towering over Potter, eyes glittering maliciously. "I will not tolerate this!" he hissed dangerously. "It is necessary that we know the nature of your injuries if you want to make sure they heal properly. You do want your injuries healed?"  
  
The boy stared at him for a moment before he said, deadpan, "No."  
  
Snape sighed. "You are making things much more difficult than they need to be." He pulled a small vial of clear liquid from his robes.  
  
*****************************  
  
Harry saw Snape take the vial from his robes and panicked. He would not take Veritaserum. There were a great many things that he didn't want Snape to know about him. He had spent years building himself a false persona to hide behind, he wouldn't lose it now.  
  
"I will ask you one more time for the truth," said his professor in a cold, icy voice.  
  
Harry slowly opened his mouth. "Fuck off," he whispered.  
  
"Very well."  
  
Harry felt a sudden sleepiness fall over him and sank into a deep stupor.  
  
*************************  
  
Harry woke slowly, unable to think clearly. A voice above him called, "What is your full name?"  
  
"Harry James Potter," came a blank reply. With a shock, Harry realized the words had come from his own mouth, although he certainly hadn't intended to say them.  
  
"When is your birthday?"  
  
Harry fought viciously to keep his mouth shut, but his brain wouldn't cooperate.  
  
"July 31st."  
  
"What is your mother's maiden name?"  
  
"Lily Evans." Harry was doing all he could to fight the potion. Come on, he thought, it can't be that different from fighting the Imperius Curse.  
  
"How did you get your current injuries?'  
  
Harry miraculously kept his mouth shut, though he immediately began to fell nautious.  
  
"This is ridiculous. Answer me before you make yourself sick."  
  
Opening his mouth, much to his dismay, Harry burst out, "My uncle." Horrified and still unable to focus, Harry clamped his mouth shut.  
  
"Was that the first time your uncle has shown physical violence?"  
  
Harry attempted to nod in a lie, but the room began to spin, and he gasped out, "No."  
  
"How often has he hurt you?"  
  
"He." Harry gave one final effort to fight it, but couldn't. "He threw me into a wall as soon as we got home from King's Cross this summer. Every day since then he did his best to make sure he at least threw a punch or two my direction."  
  
"How long has this been going on?"  
  
Harry desperately wanted to leave the room before Snape could hear his answer, but the flat voice again wound its way out of his mouth. "He didn't do it so much after I got my Hogwarts letter.that was when he let me move out of the cupboard. He still liked to show me that I was a weak, worthless freak. I think I was three or four the first time." Harry would've given anything to suppress those last few words.  
  
"What happened yesterday?"  
  
"I woke up at about 3 a.m. I had a nightmare. I woke up yelling. Vernon was really angry, he punched my stomach. When I woke up later, he made me write to the Order and tell them I was okay. The he gave me a list of chores that he knew I would never get finished. When I was working in the garden, I collapsed. When I woke up, my uncle was shaking me. He was angrier than I've ever seen. I think he was drunk. He dragged me inside and started kicking and hitting me. Then," Harry wanted to stop there, but he couldn't stop his mouth, "he started hitting me with his belt. He does that a lot. He stopped for a minute and I thought he'd left. I really couldn't see anything. I heard him come back. He stabbed me in the stomach with a kitchen knife. I screamed and he stabbed me again. I started coughing up blood. He threw me into the cupboard and I passed out."  
  
Harry, mortified by the things he had just told his least favorite professor, couldn't have been more surprised by the man's next question.  
  
*********************  
  
Severus knew he should've ended the interrogation, but there was a question that gnawed at him.  
  
"Potter.." He said slowly, "why didn't you tell anyone?"  
  
"Because," said the boy tonelessly, "I'm the 'Boy-Who-Lived'. I'm not supposed to have any weaknesses. If I told someone, I'd have to admit to everyone that I can't even stand up to a Muggle. Because I deserved it. It was my own fault."  
  
Intrigued as he was, Severus knew he couldn't drag anymore out of the boy. As he checked his pockets for the counter potion to the Veritaserum, the Slytherin marvelled at how much the boy had fought the potion. Most people had no control of their emotions while under the influence of the potion, but Potter had resisted.  
  
Pulling the potion out of his pocket, he said to the pale Gryffindor, "Open your mouth." Harry glared at him, but allowed Severus to pour the contents of the vial down his throat.  
  
The boy blinked drowsily several times before staring up at Snape. As the professor opened his mouth to speak, the teenager cut him off.  
  
"Get away from me. Just get the hell away from me."  
  
*****************************  
  
A/N: The end of another chapter. 26 pages, and you'd better appreciate it! 


	6. Cats and Cold Tea

Suffering Chapter 6  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine! I mean.yes, it's mine- no, wait. oh, just read the story!  
  
A/N: Umm.. Wow, as of now I really don't have an author's note to add except this plea for forgiveness: I'M SORRY! I know It's late- I've had horrible writer's block and I've been swamped with band and homework stuff and arrgh! But I've finally updated! Please forgive me? Now for some random amusing quotes. "Remember Alf? He's back! In pog form.." "In theory, communism works. in theory." Ah, the simple joys of illogicity . hmm . illogicity doesn't seem to be a real word. Oh well. It's my story. I am free to make up words as I wish.  
  
Review Responses:  
  
Angel74: You were officially the first reviewer for chapter 5! Thanks!  
  
Emily: You're in luck-look at me, I'm continuing!  
  
Helen: Thanks!  
  
Kethhry: Thanks!  
  
Mr Padfoot: Thanks!  
  
Skysong: Thanks! Wow.my responses are getting rather generic.  
  
Saf Saf: Thanks for the feedback on the Harry-Snape interaction and the Cedric-Sirius guilt. You voiced what I've been reasoning to myself. Like I said, chalk the Veritaserum part with Snape's evil temper up to lack of sleep. Besides, Snape hasn't forgotten who Harry's dad was.  
  
Athenakitty:Yay! Questions! I get to say something other than 'thanks' in a review reply!!! Alrighty.Yes, someone is getting Harry's stuff from our favorite Muggles. They have an interesting punishment. Yes, Madame Pomfrey's gonna help Harry out-I just needed a reason for him to look like hell for awhile. Feel nauseous? I don't know what you mean..And yes, Harry's very angry.I mean, Snape force-fed him Veritaserum..  
  
A bit Insane: I thank you (  
  
Shadowsofpain: Thanks!  
  
Snalb: This will eventually be a father figure/friend Severus. It going to be awhile before Harry gets help, but it will be Snape with some sidebar Remus.  
  
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SnapeLover: Yay! Ha! You can't command me to do anything! Look! I have your.uh...magic stick thingy.oh right, right, wand..  
  
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Arsinoe: Thanks! Your name is familiar.wasn't Arsinoe Cleopatra's sister?  
  
Pip3: I must say, I love the excitement.  
  
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Simple Confusion: Thanks! People like you keep this story going!  
  
Sally-Jo: Yes, I really want Harry to start cutting, I mean, he's got so much guilt. We will have to see. I have to write several more chapters before we get there. You're right, sexual abuse really wouldn't fit.  
  
Brightest Star: Thanks! I love reviewers who say nice things about me!  
  
Nora Lena Potter: Thanks! I'm doing my best to update, but what with homework and music and semester tests, I haven't had much time! Plus I've got a major case of writer's block!  
  
Katani Petitedra: Yay! You're one of my favorite reviewers!  
  
Serpent of Light: Hmm.I get enjoyment from your shameless begging.perhaps I will postpone updates for my own amusement.nah, I'm not that cruel.or am I? Muahaha.  
  
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Queen of Gondor: Thanks! This will be a non-slash story.  
  
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DoctorRuth126: Thanks! Wow. I was slightly startled by that review.but thanks for the enthusiasm!  
  
Cyci: Thanks! I'm learning French.of course I know very little.I could order food at a restaurant and have an incredibly simple conversation with the waiter.and buy a blue pen and a red tee-shirt. Anyway, thanks for pointing the Prof. McGonagall thing out. I put a scene with her in this chapter!  
  
Kitten: Thank you! I didn't think Harry would be all clingy either. Tra la la.I love angst! :::does little dance, runs into wall, falls down::: Ow..oh, well. Tra la la.  
  
Lilyangel21: Intoxicating? Yay! That's super! There really is nothing quite as great as a "poor Harry" story, is there?  
  
Jazzylady: Thanks! Dumbledore won't let Lupin see Harry yet because he's still injured and confused, and he wants to talk to him first. Besides, that's just the way Dumbledore is. Lupin sees Harry this chapter, though.  
  
HaliJadeSnape: Yay! A new reader? Thank you! I love all my reviewers.  
  
Elanore Malfoy-Black: Thanks!  
  
Mr. Padfoot 1: That is so inspiring to see in a review! Thank you!  
  
Sash4: Don't worry, no slash.  
  
Crystalheart81: Thanks! I have no intention of quitting, I'm just overly swamped with stuff to do and-aaah! Finals week is NOW! Like, right now, I should really be working on my portfolio for my English final, but I'm not because I love my loyal reviewers so very much.  
  
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A/N: I'm really, really sorry if I forgot anyone-there are so many of you and I was just jotting down review responses as I went and spare scraps of paper and I seem to have misplaced a few of those scraps.  
  
GUESS WHAT? MY BIRTHDAY"S IN 5 DAYS!!!  
  
CHAPTER 6  
  
The instant Harry woke up, he knew something had happened. It had taken him a few moments to remember, but the memories suddenly came rushing back. Snape had drugged him! Snape knew!  
  
Snapping his eyes open, Harry saw the very same man sitting quite close to him. He felt his rage take over him, as it had so many times the year before.  
  
"Get away from me," he snarled, not giving the man a chance to speak. "Just get the hell away from me."  
  
For a moment, Harry had the satisfaction of the shocked look on the man's sallow face, his mouth hanging slightly open. Then he snapped his jaw shut and said quietly, "If you don't tell the headmaster, I will." He didn't sound angry; in fact he was almost pleading. He quickly stood up and made to leave the hospital wing. Stopping at the door, he said, "I'll tell the headmaster you're ready to speak to him, and to bring down a Pensieve."  
  
Harry glared angrily after him.  
  
******************************  
  
Albus was sitting in his office when the door flew open and, for the second time that day, Severus Snape walked in.  
  
Well?" he inquired, trying to read the man's unfathomable expression.  
  
Severus stirred irritably. "Well," he said, "Potter is ready to speak to you. Bring the Pensieve."  
  
"Did you find the cause of his injuries?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"How?"  
  
"Veritaserum. Perhaps he will tell you more willingly. If you'll excuse me, I have things to attend to." Severus swept from the room.  
  
Albus sighed as the door snapped shut. He slowly began extricating his own thoughts from the Pensieve still sitting on his desk. Once the engraved bowl was empty of all his thoughts, he stood up, picked up the basin, and left from his office, heading for the hospital wing.  
  
When he pushed open the infirmary door, Albus again saw Harry lying motionless at the end of the ward. He walked over and sat down in the chair next to the boy's bed.  
  
"Hello, Harry," he said. "As you know, you will again be taking Occlumency lessons from Professor Snape. Also, we both believe it would be beneficial to your Occlumency if you would make use of a Pensieve. We will not, of course, force you to use it, but a Pensieve can be a wonderful thing. I will leave you alone for a bit if you wish to do this." He set the empty basin on the bed. "On a slightly more somber note, Professor Snape tells me you told him how you got your injuries."  
  
Harry made a face, and for the first time since Albus had entered the hospital ward, he spoke. "Yes, and he told me that if I don't tell you, he will, and you may as well ask him, because I'm not telling you anything. I didn't even want to tell Snape."  
  
"Well, if that's what you prefer, I will have a word with him. I do have a question for you, though. Early this morning, right after he brought you to the infirmary, Professor Snape came to inform me of the situation. He also shared with me his suspicions that your relatives were responsible for this. Was he right?"  
  
Harry was silent, and even the calculating headmaster could not read his expression through his black eye and split lip.  
  
"I take your lack of protest as a yes."  
  
The teen's eyes flashed angrily. He took a deep breath and said slowly, voice shaking, "You left me there. You made me go back to that hell every summer. Now you want to help. It's too late."  
  
Albus, for his part, had already realized that Harry would hate him, and knew he deserved it. "I made a serious mistake in bringing you there fifteen years ago, and I owe you an apology."  
  
"Every year, I begged you to let me stay at Hogwarts for the summer. Every year, you made me go back. I was 'safe' there." Harry's voice slowly escalated.  
  
Dumbledore sensed he was in for more yelling, so he cleared his throat and said, "Well, that Pensieve is yours to use. Remus might be by later to talk to you." He quietly stood and left the room.  
  
************************************  
  
Harry sat in silence for several minutes after the headmaster left, staring at the bowl in his lap. He slowly picked up his wand and held it to his temple, concentrating hard. He pulled it away and saw a silver strand of thought clinging to it. He touched it to the basin and repeated the process. For over an hour, he pulled away the memories that had given him nightmares and kept him awake.  
  
No one had ever told Harry how hard it was to make a Pensieve. And he was mentally exhausted. Setting the now curiously heavy Pensieve aside, he sank gratefully back onto the bed.  
  
************************************  
  
Remus was sitting in the kitchen at Grimuald place with all the Weasleys (minus Percy), Hermione, and Tonks. They were in the midst of planning Harry a birthday party when Albus Dumbledore appeared with a loud crack.  
  
"Hello, everyone," he said with unusual graveness. He looked at Remus and said, "Harry is doing better, and I think he really needs to talk to you right now. Severus and I can't get through to well."  
  
Hermione and Ron looked up anxiously. "Professor, can we see him soon?" asked Hermione immediately.  
  
"Not today, but perhaps tomorrow," said Dumbledore.  
  
"Why not today?" demanded Ron, standing up.  
  
Dumbledore shook his head sadly. "It is too soon. The person he really needs to talk to is-"  
  
"Sirius," finished Remus. "But that isn't an option anymore." Overtaken by a sudden wave of grief, he quickly left the room.  
  
He stood in the hallway, staring blankly at the wall. This had happened several times since the initial silence following the Department of Mysteries incident had been broken. Breathing deeply, the only remaining marauder fell to the floor, pounding his fist on the ground.  
  
"Dammit, Sirius!" he whispered, tears pricking his eyes, "Why couldn't you have stayed here like you were supposed to? You were the one who was supposed to have the most life of any of us!" The quietly grieving man didn't hear the sound of another's footsteps in the hallway.  
  
"Remus?" whispered Albus.  
  
"I'm sorry, Albus," said the younger wizard. "I can't do this right now."  
  
"Remus, Harry needs you, and you need him. If anyone understands him, you do. You can help each other through this. Besides, I think Harry needs to see someone other than Poppy, Severus or myself. He might talk to you."  
  
Remus nodded. "Just give me a moment," he said, heading to the loo. He stared at himself in the cracked mirror that they hadn't gotten around to fixing in the last year. It didn't matter anymore. His hair was even grayer than it had been, and the bags under his eyes were predictably worse than ever. Lupin sighed and turned on the tap, splashing his face with cold water.  
  
"Is this what I've been destined to?" he muttered to the mirror. "Watching my friends die one by one at Voldemort's hands?"  
  
A few minutes later, Remus set down the steps with a heavy heart.  
  
"We'll be Flooing," said Dumbledore conversationally as Lupin entered the kitchen once more.  
  
Remus nodded. "I'll tell Harry everyone says hi," he said hoarsely as he took a pinch of glittering powder from the box Albus offered and threw it into the flames. Stepping into the fireplace, he shouted, "Albus Dumbledore's office, Hogwarts. Sugar Quill." In a warm rush of warm air and soot, Remus began to spin through the many Wizarding fireplaces of Great Britain. After several sickening minutes, he started slowing down and threw a hand out just in time to keep himself from falling face first onto the floor of the headmaster's office.  
  
Standing up and brushing the dust off his shabby robes, he looked around. Albus' office was strangely bare: several of the headmaster's whimsical silver instruments were missing. Remus remembered Albus mentioning Harry's fit of rage. A second later, a whooshing sound announced Dumbledore's arrival in the fireplace.  
  
"Well," he said as Albus emerged from the fireplace far more gracefully than Lupin himself had, "let's go, then." He turned to the door, eager to see Harry, but the older man put an arm on his shoulder gently.  
  
"Remus," he said, "I should warn you that he has some serious injuries. His appearance will be slightly shocking."  
  
"And.?" Lupin could tell there was more to the man's sentence than that.  
  
"And.he has changed. He is a very different boy from the person you will remember. He is very depressed."  
  
"That is to be expected, Albus," said the sandy-haired younger man cautiously.  
  
"Of course," said the headmaster. "Let's go see him, then."  
  
Several minutes later, the two arrived outside the Hospital Wing. Albus slowly pushed the door open. There, at the very end of the room, was Harry.  
  
"Harry!" Remus rasped out.  
  
"While, I'll just leave you two to it for now," said Dumbledore. He strode back the length of the infirmary, then turned and said, "Harry, I'll have Professor Snape pick up your things from Privet Drive."  
  
The small, rather frail-looking figure gave no sign that he had heard. For a minute, Remus wondered if Harry was asleep.  
  
Then, as Albus shut the door behind him, the teenager turned his face towards Remus. "Professor Lupin?" he asked quietly.  
  
Remus had to fight to keep himself from gasping when he saw the swollen, bruised face of his best friend's son.  
  
"Harry," he began quietly, taking in the black eye and patchwork of bruises, "what on earth happened to you?"  
  
Harry just shook his head. "I'm fine. It's nothing." He lowered his head, intent on studying his fingers.  
  
Remus decided not to press the matter for the time-being. "So, Harry, how've you been?"  
  
The boy wrenched his gaze away from away from his fingers and turned his eyes-Lily's eyes-towards him.  
  
But his eyes weren't the same as Remus remembered. They were hollow and dead, and it scared him.  
  
~Those eyes have seen too much,~ thought Lupin sadly.  
  
Harry just locked his dimmed eyes on the man for a minute, not saying anything.  
  
"Harry," pleaded the werewolf, "talk to me!"  
  
The terribly thin child spoke in a hollow, flat voice; one to suit his eyes. "There's nothing to talk about, Professor. He's dead. Dead because of me. There's nothing else to say."  
  
"What makes you think it's your fault?"  
  
Harry gave a humorless snort. "Who didn't learn Occlumency? Who was Voldemort after? Who had the 'love of playing hero'? Who was he trying to protect?" The raven-haired child was looking determinedly at his hands again.  
  
"Harry." Remus said. The boy raised his head, eyes glazed. He put his face in his hands. The ex-defense professor gently put an arm on Harry's shoulders. He immediately recoiled at the contact. Puzzled and slightly wary, Lupin quickly drew his arm away, and Harry's taut shoulders instantly relaxed.  
  
"Harry," he inquired softly, "did your relatives do this to you?"  
  
Harry looked at him with blank, bloodshot eyes. For a moment, he didn't answer, and Remus feared he would ignore him. After several seconds of silence, he gave a frustrated sigh and said, "Well if I don't tell you, I'm sure Professor Snape will." He said 'professor' as if it were a swearword. He slowly unbuttoned his hospital-issued pajama shirt and pulled it off, allowing Remus to see his bandaged stomach and heavily scarred chest.  
  
Lupin couldn't help himself. "Bloody hell."  
  
*********************************  
  
"Severus," Albus said, "I would like you to return to Privet Drive and retrieve Harry's things." With a sigh, he added, "For the record, I am telling you not to injure the Muggles too seriously."  
  
Snape nodded curtly. Angry as he was with the headmaster, he was angrier with the people who had hurt a child placed in their care. Even if that child was Potter. "Floo Powder? Always makes for a nice surprise when a stranger drops into your sitting room via fireplace."  
  
Albus shrugged. "Off the record, I only wish I could go myself. Just do me a favor, and scare them, would you please? Of course, the Ministry will want to make an investigation, especially considering it's Harry who is concerned. They won't be much better off having to face the public outrage of hoards of angry wizards then they would be facing me myself. Still better off, mind you."  
  
Severus could detect the cold fury in Dumbledore's voice usually reserved for the Dark Lord. "Well," he said with a dry smirk, " I can hardly refuse a direct request from my superior. It might be harder to intimidate these people than it is a room full of eleven-year-olds, though."  
  
Dumbledore gave a short and none too genuine chuckle. "Not from what Alastor Moody tells me." He held a box of Floo Powder out to Snape. "Before you go, I should warn you that Arthur Weasley told me a couple summers ago that they have an electric fireplace in front of their real one. Of course, I doubt they've put it up again, but you may have trouble getting through if they have."  
  
"Brilliant," hissed the Potions Master, taking a pinch of glittering powder and throwing it into the fireplace. He stepped into the now verdant flames and said coolly, "Number 4 Privet Drive!"  
  
Spinning very fast, Snape found himself in a thankfully unobstructed Muggle fireplace. Brushing himself off disdainfully, he stepped into the sitting room of Number Four, Privet Drive.  
  
Two seconds later, a ridiculously obese man came thundering into the room, breathing heavily. "Who the bloody hell are you?" he demanded.  
  
"Since you asked, Severus Snape, Potions Master of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry," he sneered, using a tone he usually reserved for his thickest first-year students and, of course, Longbottom.  
  
"You're another one of those freaks, eh? Well, the boy isn't here! We don't know where he is."  
  
Severus's ebony eyes flashed. The fat fool Muggle had no idea who he was dealing with. "I would know that," he said dangerously, "being the one to remove him from your house at four this morning after finding him bleeding to death in a cupboard. I am here to collect his things, if you will kindly tell me where they are." It wasn't a request.  
  
The man swelled, if possible, even larger, and puffed out, "You will not order me about in my own house!"  
  
Snape swore. "Like hell I won't! I do not have time for this," he finished indifferently, quickly getting his lethal temper back under control. He whipped out his wand and whispered a few well chosen words. There was a bright flash of light and a dull cracking sound, and where Vernon Dursley had been there was now a large turkey.  
  
"I am just a warm-up act to the Ministry wizards who will be arriving later. They will be quite angry. You see, in our world, attempted murder is rather frowned upon. Perhaps I'll leave you in this form until the Aurors arrive." Severus had a fairly good idea of where to find Potter's things and glided off silently.  
  
He climbed the stairs quickly, this time immediately heading for the door with many locks. Once inside the room, he was able to look around more thoroughly than he had that morning. There was an owl cage in the corner. The trademark glasses lay broken on the bedside table , along with what appeared to be a photo album opened to a page featuring none other that the late Sirius Black. Snape closed the book and laid it on the bed with the glasses, continuing his search. The precariously wobbly three-legged desk was littered with parchment. Rifling through it, intending to vanish it, he noticed several papers with writing on them.  
  
Examining the top paper, he realized it was not in Potter's hand. Reading it quickly, he saw that it was from Weasley and Granger. Snorting in disgust, he rifled through the other letters. Most of them seemed to be along the lines of, "Dear Harry, how are you, don't worry, someone will pick you up soon." Severus stopped when he recognized Potter's scrawl.  
  
Curiosity took over and he began to further inspect the parchment. It was a crumpled-looking letter. The Potions Master stopped, puzzled. Why would Potter write a letter and never send it? Smoothing the paper out on the desk, he began to read.  
  
~~ Dear everyone,  
You'll never read this letter, because I'll never send it. Every day you send me letters asking how I am, and everyday I say "fine". You and I know this is a lie. Here's a sad shadow of truth for you: every morning, I wake up early after a nightmare-filled sleep to cook breakfast for my family. If I don't do it right, Vernon hits me. If I talk without being asked, Vernon hits me. If I dare even think of eating without permission, Vernon hits me. I receive a list of impossible chores to do every day. If I don't finish them, Vernon hits me. Notice a pattern? When the day is finally over, I collapse in my room, hoping not to wake up from the inevitable nightmare, because if I make noise, Vernon hits me.  
  
Surely you are wondering why I don't tell you all of this. The simple truth is, I no longer care. What would I have given for somebody to threaten Vernon when I was younger? You have no idea how much I would've given for someone to come whisk me away when I was eight, shivering in my cupboard after my "uncle" came home drunk at hit me with a belt. But I was left here to rot, and now it's too late to save me.  
  
Harry ~~  
  
Severus set the parchment down in quiet shock. He turned away quickly, scanning the room for anything else. Something else near the nightstand caught his eye. It was a small jar. He picked it up and examined it.  
  
"Madame Millie's Magical Concealing Crème?" he read aloud with disgust. Why on earth did Potter have concealing crème in his room? After a moment, he realized that Harry had been using it to hide his uncle's abuse. Severus felt something stirring within him at this. At first, he didn't recognize what it was, because he hadn't felt it in so long. Compassion. He was feeling sorry for Harry bloody Potter. 'Damn it, Potter,' he thought viciously, 'I didn't spend years teaching myself how not to feel to lose it all because of you!'  
  
He looked around, wondering if there was anything else of Potter's in the room. Walking around the bed, he spotted a loose floorboard sticking up, just visible from under the bed. He pulled it up and hissed, "Accio!"  
  
Only two things flew out of the hiding space: Potter's wand, and a bundle of letters tied together. Regarding them more closely, Severus realized that every one was addressed in Black's writing. He shook his head. The boy was never going to learn Occlumency, he didn't care what Albus said.  
  
The Potions Master was quite perplexed, much as he hated to admit it. The boy's school trunk was nowhere in sight. Perhaps he would find it in that God-awful cupboard. He gathered the owl cage and other possessions and was on the second step from the top when he heard a shrill shriek.  
  
Curious, he kept his calm pace as he descended the steps. He smirked when he saw the source of the wailing. A blonde, horse-faced woman, presumably Lily's sister, was chasing the Dursley turkey around the sitting room, a frying pan raised in her hand as though to strike.  
  
Quite calmly, the dark-haired man went to the cupboard where he had found Potter the night before and opened it. Spotting Harry's trunk shoved into a corner, he pulled it out and opened it, shoving the wand, letters, and concealing crème into it. Once he had slammed the lid down, he transfigured the trunk into a silver Sickle, which he shoved into his robes. This task completed, he turned serenely back to the blonde woman, still chasing her husband, and, using his iciest tone, said, "Excuse me."  
  
The woman was so startled that she stopped chasing the turkey, shrieked again, and very nearly dropped the frying pan.  
  
"As much as I would love to see you beat your husband to death with a frying pan, it is not advisable, seeing as how you Muggles do generally frown upon murder." Severus calmly strode over to the fireplace, the transfigured trunk in his robes and the owl cage under his arm. Pulling a small bag of Floo Powder from his robes, he threw it into the fireplace. Placing one foot in the green flames, he turned back to the still speechless woman and the frantically flapping turkey and flicked his wand. An instant later, a red-faced and rather winded Vernon Dursley had replaced the turkey.  
  
"This isn't the last you'll hear about this," he said softly, before stepping completely into the hearth and shouting, "Albus Dumbledore's office, Hogwarts, Sugar Quill."  
  
************************************************************  
  
Remus could only stare in revolt as he allowed what he was saying to sink in. Harry's entire stomach was heavily bandaged , and what was visible of his upper body looked as though it had been used as a canvas by some sick, twisted lunatic. His chest was bruised. Scars and welts covered his ribs, which stuck out from his skin, and the way he moved suggested that he was in a great deal of pain.  
  
"Harry," he whispered, "did your uncle do this?"  
  
Harry looked deadpan, and said calmly, "No. I ran into a wall and fell down the stairs all on my own, and I asked my aunt to kick me in the ribs."  
  
Lupin was slightly taken aback by Harry's biting sarcasm, and chided him gently, "Harry."  
  
"Yes, my 'uncle' did this to me. I deserved it though."  
  
Remus felt a wave of rage. "Why would you deserve this? No one deserves this."  
  
"I didn't do what he wanted me to. I didn't do a good enough job on m chores. I was a burden to them." He laid back down and resumed staring lethargically at the ceiling.  
  
He took one more chance to get Harry to talk. "Ron and Hermione would like to see you soon."  
  
Harry sat up very quickly. "No."  
  
The werewolf was startled. "Don't you want to see them?"  
  
Harry looked at him as if he were stupid. "Of course I want to see them. But I don't want them to see me like this. They don't need to see me weak."  
  
"Harry," he said quietly, "Ron and Hermione won't think you're weak. They're your friends. They've seen you through everything else, and they've never thought you had a perfect home life." Harry did not respond.  
  
*********************************************************  
  
Severus arrived back in Dumbledore's office, still holding the birdcage under his arm. Doing his best to keep his dignity, he staggered sideways out of the stone hearth. He never had like Flooing too much. He did his best to brush the soot off of his long black robes and regain his composure.  
  
"How did things go at the Dursley's?" asked the headmaster, eyes only slightly twinkling.  
  
"I was able to collect Ha-Potter's things, though I also had the unfortunate luck to meet that uncle of his. Fat, nasty, unpleasant man, he was."  
  
"I daresay he was much less happy with the situation then you."  
  
"Well, most people, especially Muggles, do not appreciate being Tansfigured into turkeys."  
  
"Minerva will be jealous. Human-animal transformations have always been her area of expertise."  
  
"Yes, well, all the Potions I could think of giving him, tempted as I was, have some very illegal side effects. Besides, it would be far to easy to track me had I used a potion. I would be the first suspect."  
  
"You did turn him back, though," the headmaster did not even try to sound concerned.  
  
"Much as I hate to admit it, yes."  
  
"Well, that is probably for the best. The proper authorities will have to deal with him."  
  
Severus shook his head. "Turns out the Muggles kept famous Harry Potter locked up. You know, when they weren't beating him. No one, not even James Potter's son, should have to live the way Harry was forced to."  
  
Dumbledore's eyes were twinkling so much that they appeared to glitter. "Why, Severus, I do believe you just called him Harry. Perhaps you actually care?"  
  
Severus shot the headmaster a glare, though it was of little effect. He turned to leave with a swish of his robes, hoping to salvage at least some of his imitating demeanor.  
  
"Severus, there is one more thing I would like to discuss with you."  
  
Snape stopped with one foot out the door and turned around. He had a feeling he wasn't going to enjoy this discussion. "Yes?"  
  
"After Harry is released from the Hospital Wing, he will need to stay at the school for a short while so Madame Pomfrey can monitor his progress."  
  
"So the boy stays in the Gryffindor tower. What does this have to do with me?" Snape had a nasty suspicion.  
  
"No, I do not want him to stay by himself. I was wondering if perhaps you would like to take him in. It would be good for both of you." Seeing Severus's face, he quickly continued, "Not for very long, just for a week, maybe a few days more. You could both learn some empathy from this."  
  
Seeing the headmaster's face, the Slytherin found his mind had been made up for him.  
  
"Isn't there anyone else who could take him, Albus?" Severus began feebly, but knowing it was no use the moment he opened his mouth.  
  
"Is there a reason why you two can't get to know each other a little better ? You will both be surprised."  
  
"I really don't have a choice here, do I?" The damn twinkle in the old man's eyes said it all.  
  
***************************************************************  
  
Minerva McGonagall wandered the castle in her cat form. It was one of her favorite ways to think, and with no students around, she was much safer from being stepped.  
  
She certainly had much to think about now, as she pondered the halls near the dungeons. The war with Voldemort was becoming more and more violent everyday, now that the Ministry had publicly admitted the Dark Lord's return. The mere thought of the blundering idiots made Minerva boil with rage, and to relieve some of her anger, she hissed at a nearby mouse menacingly. She felt strangely satisfied as she watched the mouse scamper away. Perhaps that was why Severus always enjoyed intimidating the students so much. Speaking of Severus.Minerva had seen him hurrying through the halls early that morning holding a limp Harry Potter. She had always been an early riser, and had been on her way down to the Great Hall for a cup of tea when he had gone lumbering past, holding the pale, bleeding, unconscious Potter. He here shock and horror must have shown on her face, for Snape had given her the patented sneer even as he struggled with the boy's weight.  
  
Minerva sighed and headed back to her quarters. Once there, she transformed and summoned a house-elf. The house-elf who came turned out to be Dobby, a very eager little thing that Dumbledore had actually hired. The elf simply adored Harry Potter and his golf-ball sized orbs widened every time his name was mentioned.  
  
"How can Dobby help miss?" asked the elf in his squeaking voice.  
  
"Could you please bring me a cup of tea? It doesn't matter what kind, whatever's fastest."  
  
The elf nodded eagerly and had disappeared and reappeared within thirty seconds. He held out a cup of tea, which the professor took gratefully as she sank into her favorite squashy chair. "Thank you, Dobby. That's all."  
  
The elf nodded enthusiastically and disappeared again. Minerva sipped her tea contentedly. She couldn't get rid of the nagging worry that plagued her. What had happenned to Potter? Why hadn't Dumbledore told the staff? Maybe he would tell them at the next staff meeting.  
  
And then, of course, there was the anticipation for what You- Know-Who's next move was going to be. Furious that the prophecy had been destroyed and several of his best Death Eaters had been jailed in one night, Voldemort had gone on a killing spree, terrorizing several Muggle families, as well as Muggle-born witches and wizards. Now, the Order knew he was going to be doing everything to get them out of jail. They also knew he was going to try to recruit creatures such as werewolves, dementors, giants, and goblins. The problem was that so far, they had seen no evidence of said attempts, which made them all anxious and more than a little nervous.  
  
A sudden sound from some distant part if the castle jerked Minerva out of her reverie. She didn't know how long she had been sitting there. Absentmindedly, she took another sip of tea, and suddenly choked, spitting it back out.  
  
It was stone cold.  
  
******************************************************************  
  
A/N: Okay, I'm done. I know this chapter is short, but I deleted a long scene that I decided I would put somewhere else. The Minerva scene is all thanks to Cyci, who reminded me that she saw Harry. I hope I didn't do her too terribly OOC. That scene was quite spur of the moment. McGonagall doesn't get her POV shown all too often, so this is a nice switch from the constant Harry/Snape POVs I've been doing.  
  
Please R/R! Give me suggestions, please-major writer's block here. Anyone got an idea for what dear old Voldie could be up to??? Again, sorry for the short chapter and the long wait.I feel just horrible. 


	7. A Visit from Ron and Hermione

CHAPTER 7  
  
THIS CHAPTER WAS RE-UPLOADED BECAUSE I FORGOT A BUNCH OF REVIEW RESPONSES THE FIRST TIME! I HUMBLY APOLOGIZE AND BEG FORGIVENESS!!! Disclaimer: Don't sue me, not mine, making no $$$ from it, do not take credit for noble works of J.K. Rowling, etc..  
  
Warning: Violence, Language, OotP Spoilers  
  
Review Responses:  
  
Amber 16: Thanks for being the first reviewer for Chapter 6  
  
Samhaincant: Thanks! I've been reading "Solstice"-it's wonderful! I'm so excited that you're reading my story!  
  
Melindaleo: Thanks for all the feedback..hmmm.sneaking past Albus.Yuppers, if Harry's in a relationship it's gonna be with Ginny, but he just might not have time for romance.we'll see.  
  
Alexis: Yup. I wrote more.  
  
Hermionegreen: Thanks.  
  
Too lazy to sign in: I am.  
  
Mikee: Yes, more Dursley punishment. Severus will be helping Harry care..hmmm.well, Ron and Hermione visit Harry this chapter, but I think Gred, Forge and Ginny may drop in. I like that idea  
  
Ginnygal189: Thanks!  
  
Athenakitty: Yup, Dumbledore told dear old Sevvie to scare the Dursleys. Dumbledore isn't a good person to anger.  
  
Jazzylady: Yay. Glad to hear McGonagall wasn't too OOC. That was a spur-of- the-moment scene. Um, Albus didn't tell Mcgonagall yet because.he was too busy. Actually, I kind of.erm.forgot she saw Harry. I'm only human.  
  
Michele: Thanks. I don't know whether to be happy or sad about my being accurate. In any case, you have no idea how much reviews like yours help. Merry Christmas to you too!  
  
Pip3: Thanks! I LOVE the hugs.  
  
Siriuslupin2002: Aah. I see your review is from chapter one. I am going to get around to fixing that chapter eventually.when I'm done being lazy, that is.  
  
Ckat44: Thanks. That letter was hard for me to write Voldemort.I actually have no idea what to do with the slimy little bastard. Harry and Snape will talk EVENTUALLY. I want to make a Sirius comeback-I loved Snuffles!-but there are two reasons why I probably won't have him come back: a) I don't think that's what Rowling intended for the plot, and I want this fic to be as realistic as possible; b) I want Harry to be angsting. I love angst. If you can think of a good way for me to bring him back, I'll see what I can do.  
  
SafSaf: Thanks! I'm not going to resort Harry because, in my opinion, even though he's darker, he still knows Ron and Hermione are there for him. There's not going to be any suddenly chummy Harry and Draco either.  
  
Hogwarts, a History Girl: Thanks!  
  
Iniysa: Thanks!  
  
Katani Petitedra: Glad to help make you feel special. Was this a quick enough update?  
  
Englishgirl: Thanks!  
  
Sally-Jo: Thanks. And yup, I'm a band geek. A MAJOR band geek.  
  
A/N: Aaahh.my whole body hurts. I got out of school early today cause I only had to take one final and I had to pressure wash our hog barns and I hit my self in the arm with a jet of highly pressurized water. To get an idea of how that feels, imagine that you have a horrible sunburn. You're walkin' down the street, you got Aloe Vera, it's all good, then some jerk runs up to you and slaps you as hard as human possible with a wet towel. Over and over again. That's how much it hurts. Then I was running inside because it's snowy here and I was wet from pressure washing and I was cold and I tripped on some ice and fell and bruised myself up and I think I twisted my ankle. So I'm having a little pity party for myself here. I'm done now. I have a question. Would anyone mind terribly if I took out review responses? They just take up so much room/time. If I do decide to stop individual review responses, still feel free to e-mail me. Anyway, let me know. Enjoy your chapter.  
  
AAAAAAAHHH! FINALS WEEK IS UPON US!  
  
SUFFERING: CHAPTER 7  
  
When Severus entered the Hospital Wing, Harry was sitting up in his bed, staring meditatively at the blank wall in front of him. It seemed the boy had been doing that a lot lately, and it slightly disconcerted him. The boy did not even acknowledge his presence until Severus was right next to the bed.  
  
"Potter," he said softly, "I went to retrieve your things." Harry nodded as he took the Sickle out of his pocket, set it on the floor, and turned it back into a trunk. "Dumbledore wants those Muggles you lived with to be put on Wizard trial."  
  
The boy's head snapped up. "No!" he whispered fiercely.  
  
"What?"  
  
"No! If my uncle has a Wizard trial, what do you think will be all over the Daily Prophet the next day? I get too much attention from our world without my home life being exposed. I'd rather just not press charges and be able to stay somewhere else during holidays."  
  
For once in his life, Severus couldn't think of how to respond to what Potter had said. After several moments' silence, he said stiffly, "Eat more. Get some rest." He flicked his wand and a bowl of soup appeared on the nightstand. He then quickly retreated to his own rooms for some much needed sleep.  
  
*******************************************************  
  
Harry had actually started eating once Snape left, though his encounter with the man left him feeling slightly nauseous.  
  
A few minutes later, Madame Pomfrey bustled out of her office holding a couple of bottles. "You're eating. Good." She looked quite please. "I will be able to heal some of your injuries now. Your leg, stomach, and ribs. I couldn't heal them earlier because you were physically too weak for the shock of healing spells."  
  
Harry shrugged and continued slurping his soup. He didn't really care.  
  
Madame Pomfrey plowed on. "I can also give you a potion for the minor cuts and bruises. I'm afraid there's nothing I can do for the welts and scars."  
  
Harry set down his soup and shrugged again.  
  
"I'm going to have to ask you to remove your shirt," said the nurse matter-of-factly.  
  
Harry unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off.  
  
"I'm going to unwrap your stomach so I can apply a salve. It's going to be painful."  
  
Harry found it was quite painful indeed, but bit his tongue and did not cry out. Once the bandages had been removed, Pomfrey took one of the bottles and dumped some of its strong-smelling contents onto a rag. She set the rag over his stomach and then jabbed her wand at the wound. It stung and throbbed, but looking down, Harry saw the area heal.  
  
"There," she said, satisfied. It's going to hurt for awhile, but it's completely healed otherwise. Now for that leg." Madame Pomfrey tapped hard on the cast with her wand, muttering very strange words under her breath. Harry felt his bones healing, though not without pain. The nurse tapped the Muggle cast again and it fell away in pieces.  
  
Finally, the nurse said, "Much better." She poured a blue potion from a different bottle into a goblet and handed it to Harry. He groaned but drank it quickly and handed the goblet back to her.  
  
He fell back onto the pillows and was asleep within minutes.  
  
********************************************************  
  
Ginny Weasley waited tensely with Hermione and Ron for Lupin to return from his visit with Harry at Hogwarts. Had the situation not been so serious, Ginny would have laughed at the way Ron and Hermione were acting. Ron refused to tear his eyes away from his bushy-haired friend. Hermione was completely ignoring his stares, except to get a dull red flush in her cheeks every few minutes. Ginny rolled her eyes. For a very smart girl, Hermione was acting incredibly stupid. And Ron.well, it was a known fact that Ron had even less luck with girls than Harry. And that was saying something, considering Harry's fiasco with Cho Chang the previous year.  
  
As Ginny's thoughts drifted back to Harry, a loud pop announced Lupin's arrival in the kitchen. He seemed rather alarmed to see the three of them still waiting for him. They all jumped to their feet at the same time, Hermione immediately launching into questions about Harry.  
  
"How is Harry? What happened? Why is he at Hogwarts? Can we see him soon?"  
  
"Hermione," said Lupin, "calm down! You and Ron can see Harry tomorrow." Hearing Ginny's offended snort, he turned to her and said, "I'm sorry, Ginny, Dumbledore doesn't want Harry to experience too much commotion, it seems."  
  
Hermione brightened up immediately. "We can see him tomorrow? How early?"  
  
"I don't know. But there is something I need to say to you, and I want all three of you to listen closely. Harry has changed. A lot. He was in pretty bad shape when I saw him, and he's very depressed. Don't act weird around him. Now," said Lupin, pausing for a moment, "it's getting late. Go to bed before Molly's after my hide. Ron and Hermione, get a good night's sleep so we can leave right after breakfast tomorrow."  
  
They retreated to their respective bedrooms. As Ginny listened to Hermione falling asleep in the bed next to hers, she lay awake wondering exactly what Lupin had meant when he said that Harry had changed.  
  
***************************************************  
  
Harry woke up in a cold sweat, gasping for breath and shaking violently. As he hyperventilated, his hands flat against his scar in pain, memories of his dream-no, vision-swirled around his head in rapid succession. He had seen Voldemort and the Death Eaters torturing Muggles and Wizards alike. He could still hear the screams echoing in his brain. He had experienced similar "dreams" before, and they were always actual occurrences. He prayed he this time it was nothing more than a nightmare..  
  
Feeling very sick, he got up on his sore leg and hobbled across the moonlit Hospital Wing.  
  
Several minutes later, he straightened up shakily and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Splashing cool water on his face from the sink, he looked at himself in the mirror. He was very pale and still bruised.  
  
The mirror tutted at him. "My dear," it said in a musty, wheezy voice, "you don't look too well."  
  
Harry ignored it and padded gingerly back across the wing, the torches extinguishing themselves as he left. As he carefully arranged his aching body on the bed, Madame Pomfrey entered the ward, wearing a dressing robe and a lamp in hand.  
  
"Mr. Potter," she asked, yawning, "are you all right?"  
  
"I'm fine," he said wearily. "I just had a nightmare. It's nothing, really. Just go back to bed."  
  
The nurse gave him an incredulous look. "This is my ward, and you are my patient. I will give the orders here. What's wrong?"  
  
"I just had a dream and I'm feeling a little sick."  
  
The nurse was immediately at his side, holding a hand to his forehead. ~Why does everyone do that?~ wondered Harry.  
  
"Oh, dear, you're all feverish."  
  
"It's really no big deal," Harry muttered quietly. "You've already lost sleep today because of me."  
  
"Don't be ridiculous," she snapped. "It's my job. Now what was this dream about, Potter?"  
  
"Voldemort. And it was a vision," he said shortly.  
  
The woman immediately straightened considerably, though wincing at the name. "I'm going to go get the headmaster. Don't move."  
  
Harry feebly attempted to protest that he would tell Dumbledore in the morning, but the nurse was bustling in her office. She strode back out and handed him yet another potion. "This will settle your stomach. Drink all of it while I go to get Albus." She shoved the vial into his hands and strode out of the ward.  
  
Harry uncorked the vial and gagged. The potion smelled absolutely horrible. He quickly gulped it down and felt his nausea slowly recede. He sat breathing deeply, hands over his scar again, for several minutes when he heard footsteps approaching outside the door. Professor Dumbledore entered, followed closely by Madame Pomfrey. Both hurried to Harry's bedside.  
  
"Madame Pomfrey tells me you had a vision about Voldemort, Harry."  
  
He nodded.  
  
"Would you like to talk about it?"  
  
He shook his head slowly.  
  
"Can you?"  
  
Harry hesitated, then nodded again. He took a deep breath, and began to speak. His voice sounded hoarse. "I could see Voldemort and the Death Eaters. They were in a Muggle village, torturing Muggles. Not just men. Women and children as well. Little children. They used the Cruciatus curse. I could feel it. I woke up and my scar hurt as much as it does when I'm staring Voldemort in the face--"  
  
"That will do, Harry. We can deal with details later, if necessary. It seems that since the Ministry has acknowledged Voldemort, he has stopped attempting stealth and is doing his best to terrify the Wizarding community as he did fifteen years ago. Tomorrow we will talk about this more, but now is not the time. Madame Pomfrey, would you kindly get a Dreamless Sleep Potion? I must admit, though, I do not know how effective it will be with these visions. Harry, you need to get some sleep."  
  
Madame Pomfrey appeared yet again with still one more vial. Harry groaned inwardly but took several gulps of the potion and was asleep before his head hit the pillow.  
  
**********************************************************  
  
Hermione awoke very early the next morning. She knew she was acting like a giddy schoolgirl, but she missed Harry horribly and couldn't wait to talk to him. After laying in bed for nearly half an hour and failing to get back to sleep, she got up and began to quietly get dressed. Leaving quietly so she wouldn't wake Ginny, she slipped down to the kitchen. She had just begun making tea when Ron showed up, his hair standing on end. He yawned and stretched.  
  
"I see I'm not the only one anxious to see Harry. Honestly Ron, at least I had the decency to comb my hair."  
  
Ron gave her as haughty a look as he could muster while trying to stifle another yawn.  
  
A quarter of an hour later, Lupin showed up. He laughed at the sight of the two of them hunched over their tea. "I thought I was an early riser."  
  
Hermione shrugged. Ron did not respond. His head was flat on the table and she had to wonder if he had fallen asleep.  
  
"Well, everyone wants to see us off and Molly insisted on making us all a good breakfast."  
  
Ron groaned and muttered something incomprehensible, his face still flat on the table.  
  
"Sorry?" said Remus good-naturedly. "Didn't catch that."  
  
The redhead pulled his head of the table irritably and said, "I said, that means we'll be here for hours."  
  
Remus looked faintly amused. "We can't go barging into the Hospital Wing at half past six anyway." He helped himself to a cup of tea.  
  
Over the next hour, the other occupants of Grimuald Place trickled down to the kitchen. Mrs. Weasley had fixed them all toast and was working on a variety of other breakfast foods by the time Fred and George finally stumbled in.  
  
By the time they finally got to eat, it was clear that all three of them were getting impatient.  
  
Finally, Remus said, "Well, we really should get going."  
  
"Tell Harry I said 'hi'," said Tonks, who this morning was grinning blearily at them all from under a mop of black hair.  
  
Mrs. Weasley sniffed and said, "Yes, tell him we're all bursting to see him."  
  
Lupin nodded and grabbed a pinch of Floo Powder form the mantle. "Right, you two," he said, turning to Ron and Hermione, "we'll be using Dumbledore's office, so follow my lead. Password's 'Sugar Quill'". He turned to the fire and threw the powder into the flames and ducked into the hearth, shouting "Albus Dumbledore's office, Hogwarts, Sugar Quill." He disappeared in a rush of flames and Hermione followed suit.  
  
***********************************************************  
  
Quite the opposite of Ron and Hermione, Harry woke fairly late the next morning. He could feel the bright sunlight burning on his eyes before he even opened them.  
  
Sitting up, he blinked wearily and stretched, rubbing his aching muscles. He groaned stiffly. He was incredibly sore.  
  
"Ah, you're up," said the nurse in a businesslike tone, striding over to him. Harry groaned to himself. It seemed he couldn't be awake for two minutes without the woman breathing down his neck.  
  
"Now," she said, "your friends will be here soon, but I think you should clean yourself up and have some breakfast. I'll get you something to eat."  
  
Harry nodded, but he was still feeling ill from the night before, and the thought of food made his stomach turn.  
  
Perhaps the nurse saw the look on his face, because the next thing she said was, "The rest of that Stomach Settling Potion is still there on the table, if you need it." The witch waved her wand and a generous helping of oatmeal appeared.  
  
Harry thanked her quietly and looked at the oatmeal for a minute before quickly downing the remnants of the potion. He began to eat slowly as the nurse walked away, muttering something about useless Muggles. He was able to take several bites before he began to feel sick, despite the potion. He quickly set the bowl aside and went to the foot of his bed to look through his trunk for a pair of clothes that would downplay his skinniness the best. Once he had found the least baggy clothes that he owned, he limped across the ward with them.  
  
The steaming shower water thumped slightly painfully on his sore frame, but the heat soothed his aches. Once he was dressed again, he took another look at himself in the mirror. There was no way around it, he looked like shit. The smallest Muggle clothes that he owned hung off his body, and he still looked pale and bruised. Harry vaguely contemplated using his concealing crème to hide his face from Ron and Hermione, but decided it would be useless, since Prof-Remus-had already seen him without it. Besides, Ron and Hermione would be suspicious if he was in the Hospital Wing with no sign of injuries.  
  
Once back in the ward, Harry gingerly pulled one of the Defense books that Remus and.Sirius.had gotten him for Christmas out and sat on the bed, reading it. He had just gotten to different types of confusion-causing hexes when he heard footsteps in the stone corridor. Harry suddenly began to feel very nervous and sweaty, his nausea returning. The mere thought of revealing what had happened to him to his two best friends made him tremble. He began to take deep, slow breaths and had just gotten himself under control when the door opened.  
  
******************************************************  
  
Hermione, Ron, and Remus were standing outside the hospital wing when Lupin turned around and said to the other two, in undertone, "Remember what I said last night. He's changed a bit."  
  
Hermione felt a slight thrill of apprehension, but took a deep breath and pushed the door open.  
  
It took her a minute to spot Harry at the end of the ward, but when she did catch sight of him, she flew down the length of the ward and wrapped Harry in a hug.  
  
"Harry!" she cried, squeezing him fiercely. He winced slightly in pain. "Oh!" she said, quickly pulling her weight off him. "Sorry--" she stopped, having just taken a good look at Harry.  
  
He was very thin-his clothes hung off him worse than ever, and his face was bruised. "What happened?" asked Hermione, astonished.  
  
Harry's eyes were dark and dull, and his skin had a sickly pallor. "I don't want to talk about that right now."  
  
"Harry," asked Remus abruptly, "are you okay? You look tired and pale."  
  
His eyes flickered. :I had a nightmare last night."  
  
"Did you talk to Dumbledore?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Do you want to talk about it now?"  
  
"Maybe later." Harry's responses were short, and his voice sounded hoarse.  
  
"I'll leave the three of you alone for awhile to catch up," said Remus. "But can I have a quick word with you two first?" he asked, motioning to Ron and Hermione. They nodded and followed him out of the wing.  
  
"Professor?" asked Hermione the instant the door clicked shut, "What happened to him? Why won't he talk to us?"  
  
Lupin gave her a contemplative look. "I told you earlier, he should be the one to let you know what's going on. And that's why I wanted to talk to you. I want you to do your best to get him to open up. Don't force him to talk about something he doesn't want to, just ease him into conversation and see if you can't get a few words out of him."  
  
Hermione and Ron nodded fervently.  
  
"I'm going to have a word with Albus and see if Hagrid's around. It would do Harry good to get some fresh air and go visit him."  
  
"Thanks, Professor."  
  
"It's Remus."  
  
*********************************************************  
  
As Harry waited for Ron and Hermione to return, he felt the numbness he'd trained himself into slowly being replaced by misery. He knew that they would eventually find out about his uncle, but the thought of him having to tell them made him shudder. Perhaps Lupin was telling them both right now. A spasm of horror shot through him at this very thought. Hearing the door swing open again, Harry did his best to arrange his features into a blank expression.  
  
"Hey Harry," chirped Hermione almost immediately, "do you think Madame Pomfrey would let you visit Hagrid today?" He shrugged indifferently.  
  
"Well, we can't go now anyway," said Ron. "We don't even know if he's here. So Harry, mate, heard you're back on the Quidditch team. Excellent!" Ron immediately launched into a long-winded explanation of the tactics he'd been reading up on, leaving Harry free to come up with the best lie he could think of.  
  
*************************************************************  
  
Remus walked down to Hagrid's hut and knocked on the door. "Rubeus? You there?"  
  
"Coming, coming," came Hagrid's gruff response. He threw the door open. "Professor Lupin?"  
  
"Remus, please," he said.  
  
"O' course. Eh.not to be rude, but what're you doing here?"  
  
"I brought Ron and Hermione to visit Harry in the Hospital Wing."  
  
"What? 'Arry's here?" Hagrid looked bemused.  
  
"You didn't know? Perhaps we should go inside and sit down." Remus contemplated the best way to tell Hagrid.  
  
"Er, yeah. Come in. Tea?" Hagrid quickly ushered the werewolf into his hut.  
  
"No thanks, Rubeus, I better cut right to the chase. Severus removed Harry from the Dursley's care the night before last," he said slowly, "grievously injured." Hagrid opened his mouth to speak, but Remus hurriedly pressed on. "I'm sure you are very anxious to know how Harry is and how he got hurt in the first place. Madame Pomfrey has done an excellent job healing him-he is sore and bruised, but his major injuries have been fixed. As for the cause of his injuries." Remus took a deep breath. "Rubeus, I tell you this in complete confidence. Harry's uncle beat him." Lupin steeled himself for the outburst.  
  
The giant of a man looked confused, but his expression rapidly changed to understanding, and then anger. His face darkened and he began to shout. "Lousy, good-fer-nuthin' Muggles! I oughta tear 'em apart!"  
  
"Hagrid!" said Lupin severely, "Calm yourself. Remember what I said about telling you this in complete confidence?"  
  
The gamekeeper eyed him, breathing heavily.  
  
"I just thought I 'd tell you he's here. I'm sure he wants to see you. He may be coming down with Ron and Hermione later. Do try and stay calm."  
  
Rubeus gave his word that he wouldn't tell a soul, but as Remus left, he heard the man muttering under his breath. "Oughta see to them lousy Muggles meself.."  
  
**********************************************************  
  
After nearly an hour of asking Harry questions and rarely receiving more than monosyllabic answers, Ron and Hermione were starting to get worried. No subject they had brought up had sparked his interests. Snape, Umbridge, Hagrid, Quidditch, Hogwarts, O.W.L.s-they'd even tried talking about Voldemort.  
  
"Let's ask Madame Pomfrey if we can go visit Hagrid now," said Ron hopefully.  
  
Harry seemed to like the idea. "Yes, let's ask her. I haven't been able to enjoy the outdoors for awhile-" Harry immediately stopped himself, realizing his mistake.  
  
"What do you mean?" asked Hermione, sounding suspicious.  
  
"Oh-well," Harry desperately began to think up a lie. "I had a bit of a fever last week and the Dursleys were so afraid of the Order's warning that they wouldn't let me do anything."  
  
"Oh.right." she said, looking rather disbelieving.  
  
The truth was, the Dursleys hadn't let Harry outside much for fear the neighbors would notice. Of course, every now and then, out of pure spite, Vernon had set a chore for him to do outside. He had been outside the day his uncle had stabbed him, but it hadn't been much for enjoyment, as he had been trying not to pass out.  
  
"Where is Madame Pomfrey?" asked Ron.  
  
"Probably in her office," said Hermione, pacing across the room and knocking on the door to the woman's office. A few moments later, the nurse appeared at the door, yawning.  
  
"Miss Granger?" she asked, yawning.  
  
"Um, sorry to disturb you, Madame Pomfrey, but we were wondering if we could take Harry to see Hagrid."  
  
The nurse turned a hawk-like eye to Harry and said, "Come over here, please, Mr. Potter."  
  
Harry got up and walked slowly over to the nurse. Hermione noticed a definite limp. Madame Pomfrey clucked her tongue at him. "You're still quite a sight," she said, looking him over carefully. After several tense minutes where he muttered under her breath, pressed on Harry's stomach (he winced slightly), and looked him over from every angle, she announced, "Well Potter, you can go, but drink this first. It's a basic Strengthening Potion."  
  
Harry looked revolted but took the vial she held out and downed it in one gulp, making a face.  
  
The nurse nodded approvingly at him before turning to Ron and Hermione.  
  
"You two," she said sternly, "don't go to fast and keep an eye on him."  
  
Hermione thought she could actually hear Harry making a face, but said, "Of course." She took a step backwards; the woman's glare clearly said 'or else'.  
  
The nurse turned away and walked to the door, taking out her wand and muttering, "Finite Incatatem." A frame of blue light came out of the door and dissolved into the air. Then she went back to her office and closed the door with a quiet click.  
  
Ron sent a triumphant glance at Harry and Hermione and said, "Let's go."  
  
Harry started walking slowly with them. Glancing sideways at him as the trio fell into step, Hermione could see Harry biting his lip in pain. She quickly looked away so he wouldn't see her staring.  
  
"You guys don't really have to go this slow. You know how Madame Pomfrey is. She's just being overly protective."  
  
Hermione raised her eyebrows at Ron but sped up to keep up with Harry. A few minutes later, the three of them were walking across the grounds towards Hagrid's cabin. Hermione could no longer pretend she didn't hear Harry's labored breathing.  
  
"Harry?" she asked timidly. "We can slow down if you-"  
  
Harry shot her a glare. "I'm fine," he said tightly through clenched teeth.  
  
Hermione would've very much liked to force Harry to slow down, but decided it wasn't worth a fight.  
  
When the three of them finally reached Hagrid's cabin, Ron raised his hand and knocked as Harry took deep, steadying breaths.  
  
Hagrid opened the door and his face lit up. "'Arry! Ron! 'Ermione! Good ter see you lot." He ushered them into his house with a wide, sweeping arm. Then he turned to Harry again and said, "'Arry! Good ter see you're doing alright!" He enveloped him into a bone-crushing bear hug, Hermione saw him wince again.  
  
He gasped, "Um, Hagrid, it's great to see you and all, but I can't breathe."  
  
"O' course, o' course. Sorry about that, 'arry." He let go, and Harry stumbled backward looking quite relieved.  
  
" 'Eard abou' those relative o' yours," said Hagrid gruffly.  
  
Confused, Hermione turned to look at Harry, whose facial expression had changed suddenly. His face paled, and he stared at Hagrid in horror, mouth open. He looked around the cabin, a frantic expression on his face.  
  
"I tell yer," Hagrid continued with watery eyes, "If I'd known what those lousy Muggles were doin' ter ya-" he stopped mid-sentence, staring at Harry. The horrified look on his face had grown, and he was suddenly white as a ghost. Next moment, he had turned on his heel and fled from the cabin. Hermione could see him out the window, speeding across the Hogwarts lawn and leaning heavily into every alternate step.  
  
*************************************************************  
  
Harry was scrambling up the hill, breathing heavily. Pain was shooting up his leg and his breath was no more than short, chopped gasps, but He could neither stop nor look behind him. Hagrid knew! And now Ron and Hermione would too! The thought of his two best friends knowing his deepest, darkest secret made him feel physically ill again. Harry didn't care. He didn't slow down until he reached the front doors. Throwing them open, he dashed inside and sprinted up the marble steps in the Entrance Hall. He went down a few random corridors until he was confident he would not be found. Sinking down against the wall, he clutched a stitch in his side, panting in an effort to breathe. Every pain in his body had come back, but that was nothing compared to the fear that gnawed him. Ron and Hermione knew now. He could imagine their looks of shock and disgust when they realized what Hagrid was talking about.  
  
**********************************************************  
  
Hermione and Ron looked at each other dumbfounded, not only by what they had heard, but by Harry's flight. They turned back to Hagrid, who looked quite confused.  
  
"Umm, we have to go, Hagrid. We're not supposed to.erm.lose him. Sorry."  
  
Hagrid nodded, a puzzled expression on his face.  
  
The two quickly bade him good-bye and bolted out of the cabin after Harry. They could no longer see him, but the only place he could've gone was through the front doors. Sprinting up the castle steps, they flung open the doors just as Harry had minutes earlier. Inside the front doors, they skidded to a stop and looked around wildly .  
  
"Which way did he go?" panted Ron, staring around.  
  
"I don't know!" gasped Hermione. "Maybe he-" a cold voice interrupted her.  
  
"Don't you two get in enough trouble during the school year? I was so enjoying the quiet."  
  
Ron and Hermione spun around. Snape was standing behind him. Something about him, however, was less malicious then before. He was thin and tired-looking, and his voice lacked its usual sting.  
  
"Sir, we were just here to visit Harry, and we went down to see Hagrid. He said something to Harry about his relatives, and Harry ran off," said Hermione breathlessly.  
  
The Potions Master made an irritated noise in the back of his throat and said, "Yes, he's been doing a lot of that in the last day and a half."  
  
"And, well, we don't really know where he is."  
  
Snape looked annoyed. "I will find Potter. You two head to the Hospital Wing and see if he's there. Even if he's not, just wait there." The man swept off, leaving no room for argument.  
  
"Slimy git." muttered Ron.  
  
**********************************************************  
  
Severus stalked up the marble staircase, groaning inwardly. Couldn't the gods grant him just one moment of peace to not chase after the bloody Boy-Who-Lived? No, of course not. Not after all he had done. The gods gave no peace to a Death Eater. Even one who was a spy.  
  
Snape had never before appreciated just how large Hogwarts was. The school suddenly had an infuriating number of hallways. Deciding to use all the help he could get, the Slytherin walked up to the nearest portrait and asked its subject, a red-haired wizard with a mischievous look that reminded him forcefully of Fred or George Weasley, "Did a black-haired boy run by here a few minutes ago?"  
  
"Ah, yes, good sir," replied the portrait haughtily.  
  
~Maybe Percy Weasley,~ thought Severus  
  
"He went down that corridor." The portrait pointed down the hall to its left.  
  
Snape nodded curtly and tore off in that direction. He looked down the hall, which had at least a dozen more corridors leading off from either side. He began to walk down the hall slowly, checking every hall he passed. There was no sign of Potter, and the Potions Master was beginning to get worried. He was checking the second to last corridor when he spotted a sniffling figure slouched against the wall.  
  
Practically flying to the boy's side, he saw the boy taking deep, gasping breaths with his eyes squeezed shut. His thin cheeks glistened with tears.  
  
"Potter?" he asked, none too gently. "Harry?"  
  
His eyes fluttered open and he stared at Snape with a dead expression, his frail chest heaving.  
  
"What in God's name are you thinking?"  
  
The boy looked at the floor and said quietly, "Ron and Hermione know."  
  
"What are you on about?"  
  
"Hagrid told them about.about why I'm here."  
  
Understanding coursed through Severus like wildfire. Not, of course, that this gave the boy a justifiable reason for running away. "Stand up. We can talk about this on our way back to the Hospital Wing.  
  
Harry looked up at him. "Are they there?"  
  
"I sent your friends there, yes."  
  
"I don't want to see them right now," said Potter stiffly.  
  
Severus frowned at him. "You'll have to talk to them sometime," he said sternly.  
  
"I'm not talking to them. I don't need to talk to anybody."  
  
"Fine. Suffer in silence. We're still going to back to the Hospital Wing." He pulled the obstinate Gryffindor up by the arm and began to steer him toward the infirmary.  
  
********************************************************  
  
Ron and Hermione sat on a bed in the Hospital Wing. "I've never said this before, nor will I ever say it again, but I hope Snape finds Harry," said Ron. Hermione nodded. "Why do you think he ran off like that?" he continued.  
  
Hermione was debating telling Ron what she really thought. "Well, do you remember what Hagrid said right before Harry tore out of there?"  
  
The redheaded looked perplexed. "Yeah," he said, "something about what the Muggles did. I didn't think it was anything important until Harry ran away."  
  
Hermione felt as though she were trying to explain something to a four-year-old. "Well, you've seen Harry's relatives. Don't you think it's possible that they had something to do with his injuries?"  
  
Comprehension dawned on Ron's face. "You-you mean-you think his-his family did that to him?" he stuttered.  
  
"Ron, I know your family is very close and loving, but there are a lot of families who aren't. Child abuse isn't as common in the Wizarding world as it is in the Muggle world, but it still happens. You said yourself there were bars on his window when you went to get him before our second year."  
  
Ron sputtered at her. He looked around the room and then slumped as if in defeat. "I can't believe he'd hide something like this from us," he muttered from behind his hands.  
  
Hermione looked at him. "It's probably been going on for a very long time," she said sadly.  
  
Ron snapped his head up. "What? Why do you think that?"  
  
"Doesn't it strike you as odd that he never wants to go home for the summer? I know we dismissed it the last two years, but ever since first year, he's hated going home at the end of term. And he's always so skinny when he comes back.and I know he's asked Professor Dumbledore if he can stay here for the summer every year."  
  
Ron opened his mouth to speak, but at that moment so did the door. Snape walked in leading a very pale Harry. Hermione noticed his limp was even more pronounced then before.  
  
"Harry!" she jumped up. "Are you okay?" Snape sneered.  
  
"Of course I'm okay," he said flatly.  
  
"Really?" said Ron, also getting to his feet. "Because you look like you're going to pass out"  
  
"Really," hissed Harry, "I'm fine."  
  
Snape cleared hi throat. "As much as I would love to stick around and enjoy your company, Potter, I believe you matters to discuss with Granger and Weasley."  
  
Harry glared at him, though it was of little effect as what color remained in his face drained. He sat shakily on his bed as Snape left, staring at his feet.  
  
"Harry," asked Hermione, "why did you run away like that?"  
  
Harry raised his head and looked her in the eyes. His eyes scared her. She had seen Harry's eyes full of sorrow, she had seen them flare with rage and hatred, she had seen them set with grim determination and sparkle with malicious laughter. Harry's eyes had always been a window to his soul, and now they were dead and flat.  
  
"Hermione," he said, "don't do this to me. You're a very smart witch. If you want to ask me something, just say it!"  
  
She looked at Ron, who was nodding encouragingly. She turned back to Harry and said, "Yes, Harry, I want to ask you something. What Hagrid said back there-about your family-was he saying that-that the reason you're here- "  
  
"Spit it out, Hermione," said Harry softly.  
  
She took a deep breath and said, "Well, Harry.did your family hurt you?"  
  
"They're not my family. All my family's dead."  
  
"Oh, Harry!" cried Hermione, throwing her arms around Harry's neck. "Why didn't you tell anyone?" Harry regarded her warily.  
  
"You could've come to us, mate," said Ron quietly.  
  
Harry looked from Hermione to Ron as though they were the two stupidest people he had ever met. "I hid it and lived with it alone for ten years. I didn't have anyone to go to. What was I supposed to do when I got to Hogwarts? Go to Professor Dumbledore and say, 'Sir, my uncle hits me with a belt and I was just wondering if you gave a damn'? Or was I supposed to tell you two-the first two friends I ever had-about the time Vernon threw me down a flight of stairs headfirst when I was eight because he was drunk and I bumped into him? I had just gotten friends, I wasn't going to lose you right away."  
  
"So, Harry," prompted Hermione quietly, "What happened to get you in here? Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
"Not now," said Harry, who looked as though he hadn't quite expected all those words to be pouring out of his mouth.  
  
"Well.why are you in here? I mean, you're bruised up, but you're limping, too. Are you badly injured?" said Ron.  
  
Hermione rolled her eyes. He was trying to help, but Ron could be so tactless at times.  
  
Harry looked at him and sighed. "I broke my leg in three places and got stabbed twice in the stomach.  
  
Ron gasped. Hermione did a better job of concealing her horror, but anger welled up inside her. Harry's uncle had stabbed him? Harry, who had been through hell over and over again? Yes, Harry had been moody and unpredictable since the end of fourth year, but there was no reason for anybody to hurt Harry like that, especially someone who was supposed to be his family. "Oh Harry!" she exclaimed, hugging him again.  
  
"Hermione, I'm fine."  
  
She let go of him and said, "Talk to us about this any time."  
  
"Sure," he said flatly.  
  
After several minutes, their conversation went back to centering on Quidditch and Hogwarts.  
  
"So," said Ron, "you gotten O.W.L. results back yet?" Harry shook his head.  
  
"We haven't either," put in Hermione, glad for a change in subject. "They should be coming soon, though."  
  
The conversation continued in that vein for over an hour before Madame Pomfrey appeared at Harry's bedside with a tray. "It's time for you to eat again."  
  
Harry groaned, but grudgingly accepted the bowl of soup she held out to him.  
  
END CHAPTER 7  
  
A/N: Wow that was long. Aren't you proud of how fast I updated? Insomnia will do crazy things to you. You lot better update cause this is my longest chapter ever out in the shortest amount of time ever! MY LAST FINAL IS TOMORROW!!! MY BIRTHDAY'S IN THREE DAYS! 


	8. A Surprise Visit

CHAPTER 8  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine.don't sue.I have nothing..(whimpers)  
  
A/N: See how fast I've started updating? You lot better appreciate this!!  
  
Review Responses:  
  
Firstly, thanks much to all those who wished me a good luck on finals, happy birthday and a Merry Christmas. HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL MY BEAUTIFUL REVIEWERS OUT THERE(  
  
Samhaincat: Thanks! I'm so thrilled you like this story!!  
  
Athenakitty: Wow. You always ask so many questions. Dursleys will be persecuted more.I'm not through with them yet.Remus told Ron and Hermione that Harry had changed because he didn't want them all surprised when Harry was severely depressed. He didn't tell them about Harry's relatives, obviously.  
  
Shdurrani: Thanks!  
  
Nana-hedwig: You're right, Rowling probably doesn't have the Dursleys hitting him, but this is my story and I'm a little sadistic.Vernon was in a drunken rage, we'll just say that made him incredibly violent.  
  
Melindaleo: That was a nice long review! I decided Hagrid would be the most plausible way for Ron and Hermione to find out. Harry's slowly opening up. He's got a lot of rage.there will probably be some shouting matches.anyway, Ginny still certainly has feelings for Harry.there might be something between them. I'm looking forward to reactions, too. They will be fun to write. not for awhile, though.  
  
Lostdreamer23: Thanks! Harry's birthday is July 31st, and term starts September 1st, so he's got about five weeks. I read Dumbledore's Inbox after receiving your review-it was great, kept me in stitches the whole time. Sleep is good.haven't gotten much of that lately..(nods off, drooling, whispering "Seamonkey's got my money.yes, I'm a natural blue..")-- -that was from the hilarious movie "Finding Nemo". Something else that DOES NOT belong to me. Anyway, I would like to have Voldemort up to something, we can't just ignore him, he'll get lonely. I'm not sure what he should be up to, though.Any suggestions?  
  
Ckat44: Yup. Lots of angst. Angst makes me smile.wait, that's kind of an oxymoron, isn't it?  
  
KittenBabyGirl: December birthdays rule! Half my friends have December birthdays.Fifteen on December 21, by the way. Same birthday as Joseph Stalin, in case you were wondering. Yup. Stalin.Couldn't share a birthday with J.K. Rowling, couldn't share a b-day with Robert Frost or even George Orwell..had to be Stalin..maybe this says something about me.  
  
Ginnygal189: Thanks! My finals are over now too!  
  
Tessa: Thanks. I think I've fixed the paragraph problem now.  
  
Katani Petitedra: Thanks. It's hard not to love Hagrid, isn't it?  
  
Ginny: Thanks!  
  
Saf Saf: Yes, well, Dumbledore's getting a bit near-sighted.or is it far-sighted? Anyway, he thinks he's helping Harry, which I suppose he kind of is.he's just going about it the wrong way.  
  
Amber: This is why we use the term "Happy Holidays" ( Birthday and Christmas for me!  
  
Hermionegreen: Thanks! Harry's gonna pull his head out of his arse and realize he CAN talk to Ron and Hermione sooner or later.  
  
Englishgirl: Thanks.I think I bombed my last final but what you gonna do.?  
  
Cyci: Yay! I love long reviews! I'm debating what Albus will tell the staff and Order.but reactions will be fun to write. Snape won't be all, 'Harry, I'm sorry for being such a git I'm going to help you' at first.or ever.he's just going to slowly become sort of a mentor-like Remus. Sirius won't be coming back, I agree with what you said, and Harry won't cut. You were only a day early with the birthday greetings, don't worry.  
  
Sally-Jo : I'm feeling better now, thank God. Yeah, my birthday's really close to Christmas but I don't really mind.I don't get combined presents. My birthday (21st), my brother's birthday (12th) and Christmas are always celebrated separately in my family. Yeah, Lupin was pretty stupid to tell Hagrid, but we all know Hagrid's temper and I guess he just wanted him to get angry while Harry wasn't around.that wouldn't go over too well.  
  
Magnolia Lane: Thanks!  
  
A Person of the World: Thanks!  
  
Prd2bAmerican18: Thanks! Love your ff.net name, by the way-me too!  
  
Selua: Thanks! This chapter will have more Sev-Harry activity.  
  
CHAPTER 8. (thunderous applause, drumroll, fanfare and commencement.)  
  
Remus returned to the Hospital Wing later that afternoon to see Ron and Hermione sitting on the end of Harry's bed. Harry looked a bit healthier than he had that morning, and he was actually involving himself in the conversation.  
  
Harry looked up as he heard Lupin approaching. Up close, the werewolf could see that Harry's face was still pale and bruised. "Professor-erm, Remus," said Harry, "Could I have a word later?"  
  
"Of course," he said. "Actually, I came to tell you two it's just about time to leave. Why don't you go down and talk to Hagrid while Harry and I talk, then you can say your good-byes."  
  
The two nodded and stood to leave. Harry gave them each a brief nod as they left. As the door clicked shut, Remus turned to him and said, "So, what's on your mind?"  
  
Harry sighed and said, "They know. Hagrid said something about it when we went down to see him. I left, but Snape found me and dragged me back to the Hospital Wing, and then the three of us sat down and had a lovely chat." He looked sickened.  
  
Remus looked at Harry. He had to be truthful. "Harry, I told Hagrid. I'm sorry. I told him in complete confidence, and I thought he'd keep his word."  
  
Harry groaned and made a fist. "I don't care enough to be mad." His brow furrowed. "Remus, do you hate me?"  
  
The older man looked at him in surprise. "Why would I hate you?"  
  
"Well, it makes sense.I killed your best friend." He looked down.  
  
Remus grabbed the boy's chin and raised Harry's face to meet his own eyes. "Never say that again, Harry!" he practically shouted. "It wasn't your fault!" Now he was yelling. Harry's eyes were watering and he flinched as though he expected to be hit. Remus immediately dropped his hand. "Oh, God, Harry, I'm sorry. But you have to listen. It wasn't your fault."  
  
Harry looked away and said, "Dumbledore told me about the prophecy that night.after I was done destroying his office. Remus, if I don't murder Voldemort, he's going to murder me." His voice shook slightly. "I don't want to tell Ron and Hermione. I don't want to kill anybody."  
  
Lupin put a hand on his shoulder and opened his mouth to speak, but Harry shrunk back and said, "Can I say good-bye now?"  
  
Remus was a little hurt, but he withdrew his hand and nodded. "Sure. I'll just go get Ron and Hermione, then." He turned on his heel and left. When he returned with Ron and Hermione a few minutes later, Harry didn't appear to have moved.  
  
Hermione gave him a quick hug. Remus saw a look of pain come over Harry's face which disappeared as soon as she stood up. "Everyone's going to come visit you on your birthday, hopefully before then." Harry nodded, discreetly holding a hand to his ribs.  
  
Ron shifted uncomfortably and said, "Hang in there, mate, we'll be back as soon as we can. Mum's going crazy about the whole thing."  
  
Harry looked like he was trying to smile and failing. Remus gave Harry a quick pat on the back and told him he'd be back tomorrow, then the three left the ward.  
  
************************************************************  
  
Ginny was annoyed. No, she was furious. She wanted to hex something. Ron, Hermione, and Lupin had come back from Hogwarts and had been shooting each other looks all through dinner. When Ginny had asked Hermione and her brother what was going on with Harry, they had caught each other's eyes and Hermione had said, " I think he should let you know himself."  
  
Ginny's frustrated response had been, "You're not the only friends he's got, you know." Then she had stormed off and found Fred and George. The three of them were now sprawled in various positions around Fred and George's room.  
  
"So," said Ginny as she sat down cross-legged on the end of George's bed, "How are we going to get to Hogwarts to see Harry?"  
  
"What?" asked Fred.  
  
"How are we getting to Hogwarts so we can se Harry?"  
  
"Well," said George, "Fred and I can Apparate-"  
  
"If you even think of going without me, Ill use the same Bat-Bogey hex on you that I used on Malfoy last year," spat Ginny, "underage wizarding laws or not. Besides, Hogwarts has Anti-Apparition wards."  
  
Both twins had moved several feet away from Ginny the instant she said "Bat-Bogey". She relished in this for a moment before one of them said, "So how will we get there? Floo Powder? We'd have to use Dumbledore's office, but first we'd have to make sure he wasn't in there."  
  
"Well," said Ginny, "you two have always been good at diverting peoples' attention."  
  
"Yeah, for Filch. Idiot was dumber than a rock. Dumbledore won't be so easy to get away from his office-especially if we don't want to get caught."  
  
Suddenly Ginny had an idea. "Knight Bus," she whispered. "We can tell mum you need to go to the shop to take inventory or something and I was bored so I offered to help."  
  
"Alright, Gin," said Fred obligingly, "but if mum catches us-"  
  
"We're dead," she finished. "I know."  
  
************************************************************  
  
That night, Harry slept fitfully again. This time, though, it had nothing to do with Voldemort.  
  
Vernon was advancing on him with a belt. He cracked it down on Harry's back. He could feel the sting. Ron and Hermione appeared, looking disgusted. Snape appeared, laughing. Dumbledore appeared and looked away. Next he saw his parents looking upon him with disappointment, and Sirius with something remarkably like hate lingering in his eyes. They turned and walked away as the onslaught continued.  
  
His uncle shouted, calling him a piece-of-shit worthless freak, and continued bringing the belt down on Harry. He raised his hand as though to whip him with the belt again, but it had turned into something else. Something with a metallic glint that caught the light. He plunged the kitchen knife into Harry's stomach. Harry screamed in pain and writhed as the man pulled the knife out and drove it in again and again.  
  
Through a haze of pain, Harry wondered why he couldn't wake up from this dream.  
  
********************************************************  
  
Poppy had been roused from a wonderful and much-needed sleep by screams from the Hospital Wing. Jumping up, she tore out of her quarters and through her office to the ward.  
  
Harry was lying on the bed, sheets twisted around him. There were beads of perspiration on his forehead, and the bedclothes were soaked in sweat. He was writhing and screaming.  
  
"Mr. Potter!" cried the nurse. "MR. POTTER!" Shouting did not seem to help. She couldn't think of anything to do. She ran to her quarters to contact the headmaster.  
  
"Albus!" she cried, throwing a pinch of powder into the fireplace. "ALBUS! Get over here right now! It's important!" A minute later, the headmaster appeared, revolving quickly.  
  
"What is it, Poppy?" he asked gravely.  
  
"Come on. I'll show you," she started, as screams again began to punctuate the night. Dumbledore ran after her into the hospital wing.  
  
Harry was still convulsing on the bed, growing paler by the second. Dumbledore began to shake the boy, but he still would not wake. Finally he said, "It looks as if I have no choice," and began slapping the boy's face.  
  
Harry sat upright, staring around and hyperventilating. He whispered, "I'm going to be sick," and attempted to stand up, but Poppy quickly pushed him back down and held a bucket out in front of him.  
  
Several minutes later, Harry sat up and said shakily, "The nice thing about not eating is that there's nothing to throw up."  
  
Poppy stared at him and Albus asked, "Was it a dream about Voldemort again?"  
  
Harry shook his head. "No, not Voldemort. Vernon."  
  
Dumbledore sat on Harry's bed and asked, "What happened?" while studying him over the top of his glasses.  
  
Harry took a deep breath. "I was back at the Dursleys' house. Vernon was hitting my with a belt then he started stabbing me.you know, same old, same old."  
  
Poppy could tell the boy was holding back on something but didn't push him to talk. "I'll go get some more Dreamless Sleep Potion," she whispered.  
  
"Thanks," muttered Harry.  
  
*********************************************************  
  
Harry hadn't told Dumbledore about the part of his dream where everyone watched him get beaten. The man probably knew he was holding something back. Harry knew he hadn't heard the end of this.  
  
"Well," said the headmaster as Madame Pomfrey went to get him some Dreamless Sleep Potion, "you will be pleased to know that you will be moving out of here tomorrow."  
  
Harry's ears perked up at these words. "Where am I going?"  
  
"You'll be staying at Hogwarts, of course-in Professor Snape's quarters."  
  
Harry felt sure he had hallucinated. "Wha-what?" he spluttered.  
  
"He is the only teacher here who can take you. Besides, this will be good for you."  
  
"No offense, sir, but I doubt it can be good for me to be dueling with a man twice my age. And that's what'll happen if we're left in the same room alone together for more than thirty minutes."  
  
The old man chuckled. "I seriously doubt that it will come to anything that drastic."  
  
At that moment, the nurse returned with a goblet of potion. She sighed as she handed it to him. "You won't be able to take this potion tomorrow night, Mr. Potter."  
  
Harry nodded groggily while draining the goblet. He set it down on the bedside table before falling into an exhausted slumber.  
  
************************************************************  
  
The next morning dawned bright and cheerful at Number Twelve, Grimuald Place. Ginny rolled out of bed with a huge yawn and stumbled over to the wardrobe she shared with Hermione. Rubbing her eyes, she pulled out some Muggle clothing and began to get dressed.  
  
Five minutes later, she made her way down to the kitchen, where half of Number Twelve's residents were gathered around the scrubbed wooden table. "Morning," she muttered, stifling a yawn. "You two still planning to go into the shop?" she asked Fred and George, catching Fred's eye.  
  
"Oh, yeah-mum, we're going to take inventory this morning and Ginny wanted to come. Would it be all right with you?"  
  
"Yes," said Mrs. Weasley, "but how are you getting there? Ginny can't Apparate."  
  
"We thought we'd take the Knight Bus," said George matter-of-factly.  
  
"Oh, go ahead. I know you're all going crazy trapped in this house."  
  
Ginny grinned and gave her mother a hug. "Thanks mum."  
  
"Sure."  
  
She grinned at Fred and George. The three of them quickly finished eating.  
  
"We'll be back later. Not sure how long this will take. Maybe the three of us will go out to lunch," said George.  
  
"You lot just be careful," said Mrs. Weasley lovingly.  
  
The three of them walked up to the ground floor and outside to the curb. Fred stuck out his right arm. A second later, the purple, triple- decker bus had appeared.  
  
A pimply faced young wizard stepped out of the bus and said, "Welcome to the Knight Bus. My name is Stan Shunpike and I will be your conductor this morning."  
  
"G'morning," said Fred pleasantly. "Three to Hogwarts, please."  
  
"That'll be fourteen Sickles each."  
  
Ginny dug in her pocket to pull out some money, but George put a hand on her arm. "Business is good. This one's on us, Gin-Gin." He resorted to her childhood nickname.  
  
"Don't call me that," she said. But she was smiling.  
  
***********************************************************  
  
When Harry woke, he could feel the bright morning light stinging his eyes. Why was the Hospital Wing always so bright? Harry sat up and rubbed his eyes.  
  
Madame Pomfrey saw him. "Good Morning," she said. "Today you get to leave the ward, so I want you to eat well. I'll help you pack your things later."  
  
Harry nodded and began to eat the broth she handed him. "Umm, Madam Pomfrey? When do I get to eat real food?"  
  
She gave him a patronizing look. "As soon as you can keep down soup and oatmeal."  
  
Harry pulled a face but ate quickly. He still was unable to finish more that half of what she gave him.  
  
"Right," she said. She waved her wand and the few possessions that weren't in his trunk flew there.  
  
"I'm going to give you a complete check-up before you can leave," she said sternly. He fought the urge to groan out loud. She told him to remove his shirt, which he did, feeling that he was handing over his dignity along with the pajama top. She pressed on his stomach and ribs again. It hurt, and Harry winced.  
  
"Hmm," she said, "still sore?" He nodded stiffly. "I'll give you a mild pain-reducing potion for that to take with you."  
  
After several more humiliating minutes, the nurse deemed him fit to go. As Harry left to take a shower, Severus Snape walked in.  
  
*********************************************************  
  
Severus wished more than anything that the walk from his quarters to the Hospital Wing would never end. He had stayed up the night before to clean his quarters and add an extra room. Nothing extravagant, but he doubted the boy would complain.  
  
Albus had come to his quarters the evening before to tell him Harry would be ready to leave the hospital that morning. He had groaned, and begun to prepare himself for a week or more of living with the famous Boy- Who-Lived.  
  
Now, when he wished the walk would take as long as possible, it seemed he flew to the door. He took a deep breath and opened the door. Madame Pomfrey was straightening and cleaning one of the beds.  
  
"Where's Potter?" he asked.  
  
"He's getting cleaned up. Right, now, I'm going to send these along with you when you go." She held up a handful of vials. "There's a Dreamless Sleep Potion-he can't have that one tonight, he's had it the last two nights-there's a stomach settling potion, a pain-reducer, and a Strengthening Solution."  
  
Snape felt insulted. "Do you not believe me capable of making these potions?"  
  
"Oh, really," she snapped, "be reasonable. These are potions you made, I just figured you wouldn't have time to make them now. Anyway," she continued, "he needs to stay off that leg for awhile and he's only to eat broth or oatmeal or things like that until he can keep it down. Got that all?"  
  
"Yes, Poppy. I do have a shred of common sense."  
  
The two just glared at each other in silence for a few moments before Harry came out of the lavatory, wet-haired and wearing Muggle clothing far too large for him. Poppy sniffed in distaste.  
  
"Ready, Potter?" he asked silkily.  
  
The boy nodded, though he looked like he wanted to throw up. Severus hissed "Locomotor Trunk," and directed Potter's now levitating belongings in front of him. "Come on."  
  
***************************************************  
  
Harry followed Snape as quickly as he could, but the man was hurrying down the corridors much too fast for him to keep up on his sore leg. His leg was throbbing, and he was limping, despite his best efforts not to. He was taking deep breaths, trying not to let Professor Snape hear him. ~Constant vigilance,~ Harry thought grimly to himself. ~Never let an enemy sense your weakness.~  
  
After several minutes Harry found himself not, in fact, near the dungeons, but in front of a portrait on the fourth floor. Snape, now several paces ahead of him, stopped and looked around. Seeing Harry still staggering down the corridor to meet him, he sneered. Harry glared back.  
  
Once he had struggled to the portrait, Snape muttered, "," to the portrait's subject-a bearded wizard in deep crimson robes. Floating the trunk through first, he stepped up into the hole, leaving Harry to climb through, panting slightly with pain but keeping his face determinedly straight.  
  
Harry looked around, his curiosity slightly getting the better of him. He had never been into a teacher's quarters before, other that Hagrid's. It was not at all as he had expected. The décor was actually slightly reminiscent of the Gryffindor common room, with a large squashy sofa, thick carpet and roaring fire. Of course, it lacked the Gryffindor colors, but it wasn't in Slytherin colors either. The room was a mixture, instead, of earthy greens and browns.  
  
Setting the trunk to the ground with a thud, Snape turned to Harry and said, "I'm sure that you are most unhappy with these arrangements. Let me assure you that I am even less happy. I will not tolerate your rule- breaking here as Albus and Minerva do. You may make use of this room, the lavatory-" he pointed to a door to his left, "-and the spare bedroom." He pointed to another door. My study and bedroom are to be left alone. You will clean up any mess you make. Understood?"  
  
Harry nodded dumbly. Certainly, living with the greasy git of a potions master wasn't going to be fun, but it had to be better than the Dursleys.  
  
The man glared at him for a moment before saying, "I will be in the dungeons, working on a potion. Do not disturb me. Do not leave the castle without asking either Albus or myself." Then he turned on his heel, leaving Harry to wrestle his trunk into the bedroom.  
  
**********************************************************  
  
Albus was sitting in his office when he heard a knock at the door. "Come in, Minerva," he said softly.  
  
The strict-looking witch stepped into the room. "Somehow you always know it's me," she said with a small smile.  
  
He nodded with a twinkle in his eye, then his expression faded slightly. "Something tells me you didn't come so we could discuss my questionable Inner Eye abilities."  
  
The witch sighed heavily and sat down in front of his desk. "The day before yesterday, I saw Severus carrying a passed out Harry Potter through the halls of Hogwarts. Is there perhaps something you should share with the staff or the Order?"  
  
Albus nodded. "I was planning on calling a staff meeting, but I'll let you know more than I will the rest of the teachers. You remember the late-running Order meeting that you had a few days ago?"  
  
Minerva nodded.  
  
"Well, Severus tells me he was preparing to leave when he saw Harry's owl. Assuming it was just to deliver the regular letter to let everyone know he was okay, Professor Snape paid no attention until the owl began to act agitated. Severus, sensing something wrong, Apparated to Mr. Potter's home with the bird, He found a very unhealthy Harry and brought him here. Harry will be staying in the castle for a week or two."  
  
Professor McGonagall nodded. "I don't suppose you could tell me what happened to Potter?"  
  
The headmaster just shook his head somberly. "I can only say that it was not Death Eaters, nor any fault of his own."  
  
Albus watched with a heavy heart as Minerva left, wondering if Harry would ever divulge to her, or anybody else, why he had been removed from Privet Drive.  
  
************************************************************  
  
Harry sat in front of the fire in Snape's quarters, staring into the flames. He was bored out of his mind. He hated being bored. It brought back painful memories and left him alone with his dangerous musings.  
  
Right now, for instance, he was mentally berating himself. If Sirius were alive, he would have someone to confide in. Sirius would have gotten him out of Privet Drive long ago. But Sirius wasn't alive. He was dead, and Harry knew he had only himself to blame.  
  
Harry was getting quite sick of just sitting there. He wanted to go out. He wanted to fly. But he also wanted to keep his head attached to his shoulders--sort of-and he knew that bothering Snape while he was making a potion would likely not fulfill the last want. He wasn't in much of a mood to talk to the headmaster right then, either. He decided to go to the library. Anything to keep busy. Hermione would be proud.  
  
Ten minutes later, he was outside the library. It had taken him longer than expected to get down there-he had completely forgotten about the pain-reducing potion Madame Pomfrey had given him. He didn't have any schoolwork, seeing as how he hadn't received his O.W.L. results yet, so he walked around the shelves looking for something on Quidditch or some other trivial subject.  
  
He did a double take when a title caught his eye. The Ascension of Voldemort. He pulled it down and nearly dropped it when he saw a picture of Sirius on the cover. Scanning the subtitle, he felt his heart catch in his chest. "A detailed account of the Dark Lord's rise to power and the Death Eaters who helped him." Harry felt a sudden surge of anger. He wanted to throw the book against the wall and scream. The idiots had no idea who Sirius really was. He sank to the floor, still staring at the book's cover, his vision beginning to swim. His chest shook with grief.  
  
Several minutes later, when he was finally able to get control of his breathing, he wiped his eyes. He hadn't really broken down like that since the night that.it happened. He was just managing to regain his composure when he heard footsteps approaching. Standing up quickly, he was greeted by the sight of three of the people he least expected to see.  
  
"Harry?"  
  
"Fred.George.Ginny?" he asked. "What the hell...?"  
  
********************************************************  
  
Fred, George, and Ginny Weasley were walking through the halls of Hogwarts, quite mystified. According to Ron and Hermione, Harry was in the Hospital Wing, but when the three of them had headed up there, they had seen no sign of him. Not wanting to take the risk of asking Madame Pomfrey, they had begun searching elsewhere. He hadn't been in the Great Hall, or the Gryffindor tower, or even the Room of Requirement.  
  
Ginny had finally said, "Oh, let's just go check the library."  
  
Both of the twins had looked at her as if she were taking the mickey. "He's not Hermione!"  
  
"Have either of you got a better idea?"  
  
The twins saw her set jaw and shook their heads. "That's what I thought." She turned around and led them to the library. She noticed a definite sound coming from the shelves. It was the sound of someone taking deep, gasping breaths.  
  
They walked around the row of shelves and saw Harry getting to his feet. His eyes were bloodshot. "Harry?" she asked.  
  
He stared at her. "Fred.George.Ginny? What the hell?"  
  
"Harry!" she threw her arms around his neck. She saw him wince and immediately let go. "I'm sorry! Are you alright?"  
  
"Fine," he said stiffly. "Just a little sore." He looked terrible. Pale and thin, his face was bruised and he looked as if he was favoring one leg.  
  
Ginny caught sight of the book at Harry's feet. The Ascension of Voldemort. There was a picture of Sirius on the front. "Harry," she whispered. "Are you okay?"  
  
He nodded. "What are you guys doing here? Snape'll go ballistic."  
  
"Snape?" asked Fred.  
  
Harry groaned slightly. "I'm staying in his rooms for a week. Madame Pomfrey let me out of the hospital this morning."  
  
Ginny was horrified, but Fred and George looked like Christmas had come early. "Excellent!" whispered George. "You could prank the hell out of him!"  
  
Harry shook his head, a hint of sadness flitting across his features. "I don't think so. I like my limbs as they are, thanks. Honestly, you guys better be ready to run if anybody comes."  
  
"So Harry," asked Ginny, remembering why they were there, "what happened?"  
  
He made a face. "Ron and Hermione didn't tell you? I'm surprised."  
  
"Did you tell them to?"  
  
"No, but Hermione can be so.interfering.sometimes. I was sure she'd tell everyone."  
  
"You still haven't answered my question. What happened to you?"  
  
He gave a bitter snort. "Turns out living with the Dursleys isn't as safe as Dumbledore thought it was."  
  
Ginny immediately realized what he meant, though judging by the twins' confused expressions, they didn't. "Oh my God.Harry." she whispered. She put a hand on his shoulder.  
  
He flinched. "It's nothing. I'm fine." For a moment, she thought she caught an unreadable expression on his face, but the next moment, his facial features were blank and empty. "You guys really shouldn't be here. Everyone'll go berserk if they find out."  
  
"Just wanted to come see you, mate," said Fred with a grin. "Can't believe you have to live with Snape."  
  
Harry shrugged. "Better than living with, say, the Malfoy family."  
  
George's face split into a mischievous grin this time. "Cheers."  
  
Ginny sighed and turned to her brothers. "Harry's right; we better go. Have you any idea how insane Mum'll go if she finds out we're not at the shop?"  
  
The twins nodded. "Nice seeing you. We'll keep in touch."  
  
The three of them quickly set off towards the Entrance Hall. Once outside the front gates, George stuck out his wand hand and they again paid fourteen Sickles each. As the bus zoomed away through the countryside, Ginny couldn't help but feel she had learned more than she'd bargained for.  
  
*************************************************************  
  
Molly Weasley was furious. She had Flooed to Fred and George's shop in Diagon Alley to bring hem some tea and give them a bit of a break, but it had been empty. Confused, she had wondered if they had gone to lunch, but had immediately dismissed the idea. It was much too early.  
  
She had gone into Fred and George's room and asked the portrait, a horrible painting of some equally horrible Slytherin, if he knew anything of the twins' travel plans. The painting had looked apprehensively at her wand and said, "There were three of them in here, talking about going to see some Harry."  
  
Molly had gasped. Fred, George, and Ginny had sneaked off to Hogwarts? She was now waiting in the kitchen, a cold fury rising inside her. When those three got home, they were going to be wishing they were deaf.  
  
Just as she was planning the best approach to take on the three, she heard the door open. She stood up and waited patiently her children to come down to the basement. When the three of them came to the kitchen, she was too angry to notice how severely shaken Ginny looked.  
  
"Hello, Mum," said George brightly.  
  
"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?" she shouted. "I GO TO THE SHOP TO BRING YOU A SPOT OF TEA AND YOU'RE NOT THERE AND THEN I GET TOLD BY A PORTRAIT THAT YOU'RE AT HOGWARTS?" Ron and Hermione appeared at the door, apparently drawn by Molly's yelling.  
  
"Yes, Mum, but see-"  
  
"NO I WILL NOT SEE! YOU LIED TO ME! DID YOU THINK MAYBE THERE WAS A REASON DUMBLEDORE DIDN'T WANT YOU TO SEE HARRY YET?" Remus, Tonks, Arthur, and Alastor showed up. Ginny paled more as Molly kept shouting. "IRRESPONSIBLE, UNTRUSTWORTHY BEAVIOR! I THOUGHT YOU LOT HAD GROWN UP!"  
  
"But Mum-"  
  
"YOU LISTEN HERE!"  
  
"Mum!" cried out Ginny, eyes sparkling with tears, "You don't understand! I just found out that Harry's at Hogwarts because-because-" her youngest child and only daughter suddenly turned to Ron and Hermione. "You know?" she asked weakly. Ron looked dumbstruck, and Hermione nodded shakily. She turned too Remus, "You too?" He nodded sadly.  
  
Fred burst out, "What are you on about?"  
  
Remus sighed. "Molly, Arthur, Nymphadora, Alastor, if you will kindly follow us to Ron's bedroom, there is something you should know. Fred, George, I hate to do this, but I think you will have to wait till later."  
  
Fred and George opened their mouths to argue, but Molly shot them a look that said she wasn't going to forget their earlier conversation. The two of them quickly clamped their jaws shut. The rest of the group slowly set upstairs to the bedroom.  
  
As soon as the door was shut, Molly was nearly knocked over by her daughter. Ginny had given her mother a fierce hug and was now sobbing onto her shoulder. "Mum," she cried, "it's so horrible! How could they do that to him?"  
  
Mrs. Weasley couldn't help but comfort the child she had been so furious at just minutes ago. "What's horrible, dear? It's alright." She began stroking her hair as she had when her daughter was younger. Ginny hiccuped and burrowed her head into further her mother's shoulder.  
  
"Ginny," said Remus kindly, "are you going to be able to talk about this?" She nodded and lifted her head off Molly's shoulder, wiping her bloodshot eyes. "Thank you," he said quietly. "Can everybody please sit down?" Everyone around the room scrambled for a place to sit. Ginny sat on one of the beds by her mother, tears still flowing down her face.  
  
"As you all know," he began, "Harry was removed from Privet Drive a few days ago. Hermione, Ron, myself, and now Fred, George and Ginny have seen Harry at Hogwarts. I take it that Fred and George didn't figure it out?" He looked at Ginny.  
  
She shook her head. "He-he said something to us, but I was the o-only one who picked up on it."  
  
Lupin nodded. "You see, Harry was removed from Privet Drive because he was perilously injured. It seems Severus felt it would be in order to check up on him and discovered him bleeding to death.in a cupboard."  
  
At these words, there was a sudden silence. Ginny stopped sniffling suddenly. Even Ron and Hermione looked shocked. Obviously, Remus was the only one in the room who had known that.  
  
Molly was shocked in confused. Why would Harry be locked in a cupboard? And what would happen to make him bleed to death? She opened her mouth quickly, but Remus continued. "I am sure many of you are concerned to hear this, but I will ask you to let me to continue without interruption. As I said, Harry was locked in a cupboard. From what I have gathered from Albus, Harry eventually told Severus that the Muggles were the.source.of his injuries."  
  
At these words, there was a sudden uproar. Ginny had begun to cry again. Arthur's neck flushed and a look of anger replaced shock on his face. Molly was completely horrified. The Muggles had hurt Harry? Suddenly, her horror was overcome by anger as well. She was on her feet, half- shouting, half-crying. "THEY WHAT?"  
  
"Molly!" said Remus, "Please calm down!"  
  
She sat down again, weakly. "How could they? How could they hurt their own family? How could they hurt Harry?" she was suddenly sobbing hysterically. She felt an arm around her shoulders and realized that Ron, with surprising tactfulness, had seated himself between her and Ginny with an arm around each of them. Her husband stood up, knuckles clenched, face flushed. He began to pace.  
  
Alastor Moody on the other hand, had gone into a sort of shocked stupor. He stood up and turned to them all, his magical eye spinning very fast. "It was the Order's job," he growled, "to protect Potter. We failed." Then he stumped out of the room.  
  
Nympadora Tonks spoke. Mrs. Weasley thought she sounded ready to cry. "The Muggles hurt Harry? You mean.they hit him?"  
  
Remus sounded very old when he answered. "To my understanding, they did considerably more than hit him."  
  
**********************************  
  
A/N: What do you think??? That last scene was really hard to write..Do you think I got the characters all right? My birthday was yesterday! Yay. Anyway, Christmas in three days. Wow. That's soon. Anyway, I've been really anxious about this chapter. Please review! You don't want to see me beg. 


	9. Repercussions

Suffering: Chapter 9  
  
Disclaimer: Note that the name of the website is FANFICTION.net. Clearly, I am a fan who is writing fiction. The word fan implies spectator.not creator. Clearly, I own nothing, take credit for nothing, and would under no terms accept money for the garble I produce. On a lighter note, if I were Miss Rowling, I would not have killed Snuffles.  
  
Warnings: OotP spoiler, language, possible violence or implied violence, etc, etc. PG13 to be safe.  
  
Chapter 8 Review Responses: Wow. There're a lot of you. Yay!  
  
Iniysa: Okay, you reviewed Chapter 7 but I had already posted Chapter 8 by the time I got this review. Anyway, Thanks.  
  
Mr. Padfoot: Thank you for both chapter seven and chapter eight reviews!  
  
Lady Macbeth: Yeah, I'm a freshman in high school who is taking junior courses. It sucks but I love it. I know what you mean-it feels like the first four months of school lasted forever. Anyway, thanks for the review!  
  
Mikee: I love your evil ideas.don't worry, the Order as a whole will be doing some Dursley-punishing  
  
UR name: Thanks! I guess I'll have to take a vote for romance.I for one would like Harry and Ginny to have a strong friendship, in the least.  
  
Sally-Jo: I know they didn't visit for long, but with teachers and Filch all over, what can you do??? Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Hermionegreen: Thanks. Gred and Forge weren't involved because they're not Order members (yet) and they didn't already know. I just didn't think Remus would tell that many people. Thanks for the feedback on my holiday fluff. Glad you like it.  
  
Jordan: Here comes more!  
  
Pip3: Yeah, Snape's room is kinda Gryyfindor-y-you know, I didn't think he should have chains and rusty iron spikes and stuff-I didn't want him to be too Slytherin-ish.  
  
Ckat44: Perfect? You flatter me. (blushes) Thank you much.  
  
Sarah: Thanks! I'm updating as fast as I can. I'm on winter break right now, so that's fast.  
  
Ginnygal189: Thanks! Actually, your Christmas present is this bit of fluff I wrote: "The Best Christmas Ever". Read and review to give me a present.  
  
Melindaleo: Thanks much! Glad you enjoyed my fluffy piece. PLEASE DO NOT WISH MORE EXAMS UPON ME! They're horrible! I think you're right, the abuse is on a pretty big scale, but I started with this little ditty in August and I can't change the abuse now. It would make the whole story collapse. So we're just going to say it's because Vernon drinks. This chapter has more reactions.  
  
Jazzylady: Sorry it was a cliffy. But you know, cliffies do draw the reader back for more.  
  
Simple Confusion: Thanks. Yeah, Hagrid can be tactless like that.  
  
Athenakitty: Thanks for reviewing my fluffy bit! And yes to all of your questions. I don't think Ginny gets enough credit in the books. She's not as book smart as Hermione, but she certainly is very perceptive and clever.  
  
Madamemoony: I will work on more reactions, Tonks will have a more defined reaction once she gets over the initial shock. Thanks!  
  
Serpent of Light: I must say, angst stories certainly do attract a lot of odd reviewers. Just kidding! I absolutely love all my reviewers. Anyway, there will be further Dursley punishment.  
  
Serenapoo: Thanks! I am glad to hear it.  
  
Smileychildpjz: Yes, I know the light was red, and Avada Kedavra light is green, having read all five books several times through. Sadly, I am still pretty certain Snuffles is dead-or in the very least hovering in some sort of limbo. My theory is that it was the veil, not the spell that 'killed' him. I mean, he can't be too alive if he disappeared behind the veil, can he? Also, Remus and Albus concede to his death, and I'm sure neither of them would overlook something so significant if it was in fact the spell that killed him. Thanks for pointing that out, though.  
  
Kitty254781: Thanks!  
  
Prd2Bamerican: Thanks!  
  
Eliza Guerin: Thanks!  
  
Rebma: Thanks! There will be more Harry/Ginny interaction soon, don't worry.  
  
Ronda Silverpaw: Thanks! I'm glad you like it!  
  
Samhaincat: Yay! You reviewed my fluff, too! Thanks!  
  
Tirla: Thanks! I also think the "sweet Harry" is unrealistic.  
  
Starangel2106: Thanks.I think. All that matters is that you like it (  
  
Moon_Girl: Thanks, and thanks for reviewing my fluffy Christmas piece.  
  
Cinnamon Angel: Yay! Yippee! Three reviews from you! Long ones! I was wondering when I'd see your name pop up again. I'm glad you updated suffering. I'm sorry for making you cry, but isn't that every angst writer's dream? We are certainly a sadistic bunch. Anyway, I definitely thought Harry would be more sarcastic and bitter after Snuffles (sob) died. And, of course, dear old Sevvie has always been rather bitter and angry.no reason to change that now. (grins). I didn't want my story to be nothing but weepy angstiness, after all. Glad you appreciate that. Also glad to see that you're still insane as well. Me too. Oh, and I landed in your Draco fic cause it was under the category of Angst-- (--and it looked interesting and I read it and fell in love with it. By the way, I'm THRILLED that you got a rubber duck! My parents gave me a mama rubber duckie and three little baby rubber duckies for Christmas, and for my birthday my friend got me a stuffed duckie that came with a baby stuffed duckie. I was thrilled. I'm so excited to have a DUCK as an alter ego! It's my life's dream.or, okay, my dream for the last five seconds. Whatever. You say potato, I say patato.Anyway, thanks for the reviews.I love the reviews.  
  
Wolf Maid: Thanks, and sorry updating has taken so long.  
  
Mystic Phoenix: Thanks. I'm so flattered!  
  
Lostdreamer23: Thanks. Hmmmm.I like the idea of Voldemort using it against him, though that is done a lot. I will just have to find a way to make it interesting.  
  
Hummer: Thanks. Don't worry, the Order, will be spending more time with our favorite Muggles.  
  
Katani Petitedra: Thanks. Happy.very.belated holidays  
  
Harryreader: Thanks. Drama and angst ARE lots of fun.  
  
Samhaincat: Yay! You reviewed my fluff!  
  
RondaSilverpaw: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!  
  
Rebma: Thanks! There will be more Harry and Ginny later!  
  
Mr. Padfoot 1: Thanks.  
  
Athenakitty: Yes to all of those questions, and thanks for reviewing my fluff.  
  
A/N: Okay, a reviewer told me that Sirius can't be dead because he wasn't hit with Avada Kedavra, and I conceded that there might be other readers who also think that. I realize that the bolt of light that hit Sirius was red, not the green color of the Killing Curse. My theory stands as this: Sirius was knocked through the veil (possibly stunned) by the force of the curse. It is the veil that directly caused his death, not the curse. And I believe that if Snuffles isn't dead, then he certainly isn't alive. He vanished right through a mysterious black veil. Anyway, I could be wrong, but my story, to say the least, is based upon this theory.  
  
By the way, I thought I'd endorse the book "The Da Vinci Code" here. NOT MINE! I take no credit for it! I just finished reading it though, and it is a wonderful mystery. Thought I'd add that little blurb in.  
  
Another little thing, if you are looking for a truly superb angsty Harry-abuse fic, I would recommend "Starseed" by Blackenedsoul. Wonderful, wonderful fic, and I told blackenedsoul that I'd endorse it here. It is rated R and has mentions of rape, so I guess if that quacks you out, then it might not be your story. I would still highly recommend it.  
  
**************************************************  
  
Ron was still sitting between his mother and sister, both of whom were still sniffling. Ginny, at least, seemed to have regained some composure.  
  
"Ginny?" he whispered, "what exactly did Harry say to you?"  
  
She looked up at him. "Oh, you know how he is, he's really cryptic. He said something along the lines of, 'turns out living with the Dursleys wasn't all that safe'. Why?"  
  
"Just wondering. Did you get a chance to talk more than that?"  
  
"Yeah," she said, attempting to give a weak smile. "He's living with Snape. Fred and George told him he should use it as a prank-pulling opportunity, but he quite wisely said no."  
  
Ron felt sure he had heard wrong. "Harry's staying with SNAPE?"  
  
The subdued whispers that had begun to fill the room immediately died at this proclamation.  
  
"Ron," said Remus mildly, Professor Snape was the one that rescued Harry. You know that."  
  
The redhead snorted. "So? He still hates Harry. Can't Harry come here?"  
  
"He needs to stay at Hogwarts for awhile. Professor Snape is of the few teachers spending the summer there, and the only one that Dumbledore trusts enough. Albus thinks it will be a positive learning experience for both Severus and Harry."  
  
Ron spluttered in outrage. "Snape'll destroy him! How is that positive?"  
  
Lupin chuckled. "I'm sure that's an exaggeration. Severus will learn more about Harry, and Harry will learn more about him. They'll be fine after a few days, wait and see."  
  
Ron doubted that very much.  
  
*************************************  
  
After the initial shock of the brief visit from Fred, George, and Ginny, Harry had collapsed as pain suddenly coursed through his body. His scar was burning horribly, and he felt breathless and sick.  
  
He knew what his nausea was caused by. He remembered all too clearly the look on Ginny's face after she had realized what he meant when he had made the stupid comment about the Dursleys.  
  
He groaned slightly as his stomach and leg both began to throb. Madame Pomfrey had given him that pain-relieving potion, but it was still in Snape's rooms. With another pain-filled groan, Harry pushed himself off the ground. He tottered out of the library, where he had to stop and rest against the wall, panting in agony. Several minutes later, he arrived outside the portrait and realized he didn't know the password.  
  
As the bearded wizard stared down at him, Harry realized he didn't know the password. "Please can't you let me in?" he begged. "I came here last night with Professor Snape, you saw me. I really need to get a potion I've left in there."  
  
The wizard sneered at him. "No password, no entrance." Harry groaned and sank down against the stone wall. He would just have to wait for Professor Snape to get back. He didn't think he could get much further anyway. His eyes were starting to swim. Shaking his head to clear his vision, he only became dizzier. Black was seeping into the corners of his vision. Everything began fading rapidly.  
  
*************************************  
  
Severus took as much time as possible to create his potion, knowing full well the likelihood of finding Potter in his quarters when he returned. When he finally realized that he could no longer stall his return to his rooms, and should probably check on the Gryffindor anyway, he filled several vials with his potion and set them to the side. He set off toward his rooms, hoping that he would have a chance to return to his potion that afternoon.  
  
Snape stalked off to his quarters, feeling--much to his annoyance--a migraine beginning to throb at his temples. However, that pain was nothing to the burning which he experienced in his left forearm an instant later. He began to walk faster, becoming much more anxious to return to his rooms and suffer the pain in silence. He could not be at the Dark Lord's side today. His bad mood hovered in the air like a storm cloud.  
  
As he approached the portrait that guarded the entrance to his rooms, he saw a trembling figure slumped against the wall. His mood worsened considerably, and he could feel himself swelling with impatience. He bent down to wake the boy, who had somehow managed to fall asleep against a wall, when he realized that he was convulsing. Cursing, he heaved the slight weight off the ground and quickly hissed the password to the portrait.  
  
The portrait swung away and Severus quickly entered his chambers. The rooms were cold. Frigid, almost. He dumped the boy rather unceremoniously onto the couch. In doing so, he noticed that Potter's scar was a deep, throbbing red compared to the rest of his pale skin. He was twitching, his face contorting in spasms of what Severus could only assume as pain. As the boy gave a particularly wild jerk, the Potions Master felt the pain in his arm intensify ten fold. Falling to his knees with a hand on his forearm, he bit his lip for several agonizing minutes before the searing faded to a pulsing throb.  
  
When he finally trusted himself to open his mouth, Severus tasted sickeningly metallic blood. Contrary to popular belief, Severus was not, in fact, a vampire, and subsequently found absolutely no emotion short of disgust in tasting his own blood. Wiping his face with a shaking hand, he turned his focus back to the child on his couch. Potter's face was even paler than it had been, and though his thrashing had subsided somewhat, he was quivering.  
  
Not sure what to do, Snape barked, "Potter!"  
  
The boy sat up quite quickly, looking around wildly. "Pro-Professor, what happened?"  
  
Severus sneered. "You managed to fall asleep in the middle of the hallway, that's what happened.  
  
"Sorry," whispered Harry. "I-I didn't know the password."  
  
"Indeed," he hissed.  
  
"Er-sir? I.I need to see Du-Professor Dumbledore."  
  
"Why, may I ask?" The professor's tone was curt.  
  
""I--I'm supposed to.er.tell him when I have a dream."  
  
"Dream, Potter?"  
  
"Well, a vi-vision.about Voldemort."  
  
"Surely you've at least been attempting Occlumency over the summer. Thick though you are, Potter, I would've thought even you would have the intelligence for that."  
  
The Gryffindor looked stung. "Of course I have? How could I not? But it's not exactly like I planned to pass out just then."  
  
Severus put his patented sneer in place. "Very well, Potter. If you could so kindly calm yourself, we will go see the Headmaster."  
  
**********************  
  
Shaking madly, Harry stood and followed the hook-nosed man who had turned on his heel to leave the room. With legs that quivered like jelly, he stumbled through the stone corridors, trying desperately not to fall behind. The harder he tried to keep up his pace, the shorter his breathing became.  
  
Suddenly, his scar seared as painfully as if someone had pressed a white- hot wire to it. Biting his lip very hard, he felt tears of agony sting at his eyes, but blinked furiously. The pain did not recede, however, and Harry's vision was beginning to swim. He kept walking as quickly as he could, not willing to let his guard down for the slightest amount of time, thanks to years of conditioning from his uncle.  
  
It seemed to take an eternity to reach the headmaster's office, and by the time Harry reached the stone griffin, still on Snape's heels, he was nearly ready to collapse.  
  
"Sugar Quill," muttered the professor shortly.  
  
*****************  
  
Nymphadora Tonks was in complete shock. The news she had just received had made her stomach feel as if it had sunk down to her feet. Harry Potter, of all people, rushed off to Hogwarts because his relatives.she couldn't begin to comprehend what she had learned.  
  
Clearing her throat, she slowly found her voice and made to leave the room. "I'll go see how Mad-Eye's doing. Needless to say, I'm sure once he's gotten over his shock, he will agree that a little.justice.is in order." She allowed the tiniest hint of humor to enter a voice, and Lupin gave her a forced-looking half-smile. She walked regally from the room, though the effect was somewhat dampened when she tripped over the edge of the carpet and stumbled into the wall.  
  
"Oh, shut up," she said to the various sniggering people around the room.  
  
*****************************  
  
A/N: Okay, I was not at all happy with this chapter. It is much too short and not much happens, but I felt I had to update soon before I had flaming bits of garbage were thrown at me. Still, I apologize.my muse seems to have left me for another writer (sob) and now that school is back in session, my teachers are being cruel, cruel, cruel, and bogging me down with homework. But at least I updated.bleah. 


	10. Flying Again

Suffering: Chapter Ten  
  
Disclaimer: Sooo not mine. If it were, I would be rich enough to hire somebody to do my homework for me.  
  
A/N: Okay, I am sure that after that lengthy delay, many of you are ready to attack me. However, I beg of you the throw your pitchforks and other pointy objects aside until I have explained myself. :::casts nervous glance at readers::: I really DO have an excuse! So, my disk with ALL of my fanfiction was unfortunately destroyed....good-bye half done chapter ten, eh? I needed to get on to ff.net to see where I ended chapter nine so I could rewrite my beginning of chapter ten. However, I have had a monstrous amount of homework lately, and I was playing tennis and I had a play and all this band stuff was going on..., and my weekly guitar and choir. Plus I'm lazy. So, given all those conditions, I haven't made bad time....(ducks as various rotten fruits are thrown at her) A carrot? What the hll? WHO THROWS A CARROT? Anyway... I have decided that this story needs an overhaul...which will be hard without the disk, but it's worth it. And...I got grounded from the computer for a week. So PLEASE forgive the not-so- often updates!  
  
On another note: I have decided to chuck out the review responses- they simply take up to much time/space. Thank you to all who are reviewing! If you have a specific question or something, email me.  
  
I think you've waited long enough....who's ready for Chapter Ten? (raises hand) ME!  
  
Harry was still shaking from the dream. Lead seemed to be pooling in his stomach, and lifting his feet became nearly impossible. When the spiral staircase began to move, he simply stood gaping at it.  
  
Snape, who he had forgotten was there at all, grabbed his arm impatiently and pulled him forward. The touch was unexpected and Harry closed his eyes tightly, begging himself not to panic. He began to tremble and took deep, shaking breaths. He remained still for several moments, and it was only when Snape's biting voice reached his ears that he realized the staircase had stopped moving.  
  
"Are you going to actually speak with the headmaster or would you prefer to stand there admiring his door? Honestly, I knew idiocy was hereditary, but yours seems to outstrip even your father's."  
  
Harry fixed a quivering gaze on him, an angry pounding in his ears. "He's dead. Can you just let it be? Personally, I think it's rather pathetic that you still hold a grudge against a dead man." Harry turned away to go into Dumbledore's office, but Snape grabbed his arm—hard.  
  
"Summer or not, I am still a professor at this school and will be treated with respect."  
  
For a moment, Harry had to remind himself that he was at Hogwarts and would never have to worry about being beaten by an adult. Working furiously to stay calm, he tore his arm away from the Professor's grip. "Don't touch me. Ever." There was an angry glint in Snape's eyes, but slowly lowered his hand. He swiftly walked around Harry into Dumbledore's office. The teen followed in his wake, knowing that he was angering the already volatile Potions Master.  
  
The ancient-looking Headmaster appeared a few minutes later, striding out of a side door.  
  
"Ah, Severus, Harry. What can I do for you?"  
  
Snape spoke up first. "Potter says he had a dream-"  
  
"Vision." Harry cut in shortly.  
  
The professor sneered. "Vision...and insisted that he speak to you about it."  
  
"Severus, I asked Harry to come to me if he had any more of these dreams."  
  
Snape was clearly unimpressed, but made no further remarks.  
  
"What happened, Harry?" asked the Headmaster, turning all of his attention back to the shivering teenager in front of him.  
  
"Well..." Harry began, suddenly feeling very foolish, "I came back from the library to Sn...Professor Snape's quarters, but I didn't know the password so I sat down to wait...and, well, I guess I got really dizzy. I suppose I sort of passed out...so I hadn't been able to clear my mind." He said all of this very quietly.  
  
"Then what?" prompted Dumbledore gently.  
  
Harry opened his mouth, ready to describe the fresh wave of horror he had witnessed, but he could not force a sound out of his throat.  
  
"Is there somewhere else you would be more comfortable?" asked the aging wizard.  
  
Harry shook his head briefly, pretending he hadn't heard the impatient snort that had come from the direction of his Potions Master.  
  
"No," he croaked out, "I'm fine. Just give me a minute."  
  
Dumbledore nodded and conjured Harry a steaming cup of hot chocolate. "Much better than tea after a bad nightmare," he said, matter-of-factly.  
  
Harry smiled gratefully and took a sip of the chocolate, stalling the moment when he would have to think about the dream. Finally, he began to recount the dream.  
  
The Dark Lord stood in the middle of a much emptier circle. The gaps of missing followers had widened after several of his most trusted Death Eaters had been taken to Azkaban.  
  
"My loyal followers..." he began, smiling a cruel, self-satisfied smile despite the missing numbers. "There are pitifully few of you left, are there not? Of course, that blithering idiot Fudge finally listened to Albus Dumbledore, though his blindness did give us some time. However, there are now Aurors instead of dementors guarding Azkaban, so it seems unlikely that we will be able to get them out as easily as last time."  
  
Voldemort paused to draw a deep breath, causing a collective shudder from the various people around the clearing.  
  
"I admit, I underestimated them last time. Not just Harry Potter, but the children with him as well. It seems they have been training without the help of that woman, Delores Umbridge. This year, however, we will be able to plant a spy of sorts in Hogwarts. Even the great Albus Dumbledore will not be able to detect them."  
  
At this point, Voldemort seemed to feel he had said enough about his plan and instead turned to the remaining Death Eaters, one at a time.  
  
"Bellatrix," he said in a mocking voice, "You failed to retrieve the Prophecy. I am very disappointed. You would already be dead were you not so valuable. Crucio!"  
  
One of the hooded figures dropped, writhing but not screaming. After what seemed like a terribly long time, Riddle released her from the curse.  
  
The pupil-less red eyes stared around in satisfaction, past the assembled Dark wizards. "Harry Potter," he whispered in a low, menacing voice, "no doubt you have seen this. So I leave it up to you...is it merely a dream? Another false vision? Or is it real this time? Your cause can hardly withstand more failure. Do you miss your godfather, Potter? Wouldn't you hate it if the Mudblood or the Weasley fool to meet his same fate?"  
  
Harry explained the dream in full detail to the two professors, except for the part where hearing Voldemort's foul tongue speak about Sirius had made him feel as though his heart was being ripped in two, and had caused his scar to sear with an angry burst of agony.  
  
Dumbledore considered this carefully. "And you are still feeling it when Tom performs the Cruciatus on other people?"  
  
Harry nodded, looking down.  
  
"Then I highly doubt this was just a regular nightmare. Severus, do you have a basic pain relief potion in supply?"  
  
Snape nodded, his sneer looking a little more forced than it had when he had accompanied Harry into the room.  
  
"Well then, Harry, why don't you go back to the rooms and have a bit of a lie-down? Be sure to clear your mind first, of course."  
  
Harry, who could scarcely keep his eyes open any longer, was more than happy to accept the suggestion. He pulled himself to his feet, nearly falling over in the process, and tottered in a trance-like state out of the room.  
  
"How long do you suppose it will be before he realizes he still doesn't know the password?" Albus's voice was laced with faint amusement as he spoke to Severus.  
  
Professor Snape, on the other hand, was much too perplexed to humor the man. Potter had him thoroughly confused, and if there was one thing the Potions Master hated more than being confused, it was being confused by a Gryffindor.  
  
A few seconds later Harry walked slowly back into the room, his face flushing with a dull sort of embarrassment. "Uh, sir?" he almost whispered, looking at his feet, "I still don't know the password..."  
  
"What?" Severus was, for once, caught off guard. "Oh, it's Gummiente..."  
  
"Thank you, sir." It wasn't until Potter had left the room that he realized he had been civil to the boy without even trying.  
  
"See how different he is when he's not with his friends, Severus?"  
  
"You mean respectful?"  
  
"No. I mean withdrawn and frightened." Albus gave him one of those infuriating gazes. "You see it too, don't you? That's not normal behavior for a fifteen—almost sixteen—year-old. Do try to get him to lighten up, won't you?"  
  
"You want me to get someone else to ...cheer up, Albus? Do you realize to whom you are speaking, or have you started going senile?"  
  
The headmaster just shook his head. "Believe it or not, you can be quite the entertainer when you want to be."  
  
Snape snorted. "Yes. Well, since I'm here, I thought you would like to know I'm going to be starting up the boy's Occlumency lessons again, tomorrow, if possible."  
  
Dumbledore's gaze became stony. "That's quite soon."  
  
"The sooner he can defend his mind against penetration, the better."  
  
"Are you certain?"  
  
"You want me to teach him, so I'd prefer that you would trust my judgement."  
  
"Very well. Prepare yourself, then. I doubt you will see much of anything pleasant."  
  
"I thought he used the Pensieve."  
  
"I think he did, but that doesn't mean he rid himself of all of his most unpleasant memories."  
  
"Albus, you do realize he will need to start putting those memories back into his mind as he progresses at Occlumency?"  
  
"Yes, yes, I know, but I thought it best to give him some relief, if only for awhile."  
  
It took Harry a rather long time to make his way down to Snape's rooms. When he made it, he exhaustedly whispered the password and clambered into the portrait hole. He didn't feel as though he would be able to properly empty his mind, and he was terrified of having more visions, so he fought off the need for sleep. Instead, shivering, he wrapped himself in the comforter from his bed and sat in front of the professor's ever-roaring fire. It was there that Professor Snape found him nearly forty-five minutes later.  
  
"Potter?"  
  
"Hmm?" Harry could hear that his own voice was laced with exhaustion.  
  
"Why didn't you go too sleep?"  
  
"Too tired...couldn't clear my mind...don't want to have another vision...give Voldemort more information..."  
  
"What did I tell you last year about using the Dark Lord's name?"  
  
"Sorry P'fessor Snape...P'fessor Dumbledore told me to...first year..." Harry couldn't get his heavy tongue to make the right words.  
  
"Oh, this is ridiculous. Hold on, I'll get you a mild wakefulness potion."  
  
Harry continued gazing at the fire, willing himself to stay awake. He heard footsteps walking away and then returning.  
  
"Here." A vial was thrust roughly into his hands.  
  
Harry popped the cork off the vial and downed its contents quickly. He instantly felt a wakefulness comparable to a caffeine jolt surge through him.  
  
"Thank you..." he said, feeling the uncontrollable urge to twitch.  
  
"It will wear off in ten to fifteen minutes, and I want you to concentrate very hard on clearing your mind. I am going to help you."  
  
"Professor..."  
  
"What it is it, Potter?"  
  
"I just wanted to thank you, sir, for helping me...I know it's been risky for you...and...I...well...I sort of...err..."  
  
"I know speech is difficult for you, but if you try very hard, I think you'll manage."  
  
"I wanted to apologize, sir, for looking into your Pensieve. And for what my father did. It was wrong, and I can see why you hated him for it." Harry spoke the last couple of sentences to his feet, unwilling to look Snape in the eye. For several minutes, the older man did not speak, and Harry feared he had said something to enrage him. When he looked up, however, the professor merely looked thoughtful.  
  
"Thank you. I never got a sincere apology from James, not once. That took courage...not just that Gryffindor waffle you lot are always going on about, either."  
  
Harry looked at him for a minute. Something about Snape's expression was familiar, but it was certainly not a look he was accustomed to seeing on this particular man's face. He realized that Professor Severus Snape, the most frightening Potions Master Hogwarts had ever seen, the professor who made the occasional first year wet their pants, had just accepted his apology. And, even more astounding, he had shown humor...humor that was not a biting remark directed at Harry.  
  
"Er...thank you...for accepting my apology." He hoped he didn't look too shocked.  
  
Snape gave a brief nod but quickly became businesslike. "Alright. Now quickly, before the potion wears off, you need to concentrate on clearing you mind."  
  
Harry sat and focused on making his mind blank. As always, he found himself preoccupied and struggling.  
  
"Come on, Potter, you can do it." Professor Snape seemed to sense he was having problems.  
  
"I'm trying...it's not working."  
  
"You need to concentrate. Is there a place that you can visualize that can help you find tranquility?"  
  
Harry pictured the lake, but that only reminded him of Sirius. A sharp pain reverberated through his head, and he gasped. "I don't have a place like that."  
  
"Start again. Start emptying your mind again. This time, try to visualize blackness. Close your eyes."  
  
Harry did as he was told, focusing only on the silence of his mind. He concentrated until he thought his head would surely burst. He wanted to stop and tell Snape he couldn't do it: his head was throbbing from the sheer concentration it required.  
  
He felt the Professor take his hands. "I'm going to help you. Keep concentrating." He felt warmth coming from the older man and put all of his effort in directing the extra energy to clearing his mind. He finally felt a sort of shift beginning to occur in his mind, as though all of his previous thoughts and memories were being shifted aside, leaving behind a sort of blissful awareness—similar to the state he often fell into during one of Binns's long lectures during History of Magic.  
  
"Did it work?" Snape's voice sounded almost anxious.  
  
Harry opened his eyes. "Yes," he said, feeling detached.  
  
"Congratulations, Mr. Potter. You successfully performed Occlumency. Now get some rest."  
  
He gratefully stood up, already feeling the effects of wakefulness potion ebbing away. Wobbling into the bedroom that the professor had shown him earlier, he sank unceremoniously onto the still made bed.  
  
Severus thoughtfully watched the boy stumble out of the room. Certainly, the last thing he had expected from Potter was an apology, and a sincere one at that. It definitely wasn't something James would've done. Of course, Harry had admitted to being unimpressed by the memory he had seen...Perhaps the boy wasn't so much like his father after all.  
  
Snape took a moment to consider the boy's O.W.L. scores. Though he didn't know it, Harry had somehow managed to receive an "Outstanding" grade on his Potions exam, earning him the right to be in his N.E.W.T. preparatory class. He was half impressed, half frustrated. Clearly, he had potential that he wasn't working up to. Severus wondered if he could benefit from some tutoring, because the N.E.W.T class was going to require much more effort than he had put forth previously. He began thinking of potions that he could have him brew to for practice. Between that and Occlumency, the boy might be too busy to bother him.  
  
He suddenly gave a huge yawn and stretched. He hadn't realized how tired he was while he was helping Potter, but now that he was sitting still, he could hardly keep his eyes open. He decided to go to his own room and get some much needed rest. As always, he thoroughly cleared his mind before going to sleep.  
  
Ron, Hermione, and Ginny were sitting in Ron's bedroom. Out of pure boredom, they had reverted to an old game that Hermione had taught them: "Would you Rather?"  
  
"Your turn, Hermione," said Ginny fruitlessly, picking at a loose thread on the bedspread.  
  
"Oh, I don't know...I'm not very good at these...Ron, you do it."  
  
"Okay...would you rather...be stuck in the dungeons with Filch for three hours...or have a forty-five minute class with Snape in his foulest mood?" He grinned.  
  
Ginny answered promptly, "Filch," but Hermione frowned disapprovingly.  
  
"Ron," she scolded, "now that Professor Snape is...Harry's guardian for the summer, maybe you could try to be a little more respectful."  
  
Ron scoffed, but a voice from the doorway said, "You have always been the most reasonable teenager I know, Hermione."  
  
"Professor Lupin!" she gasped, turning around. You startled me."  
  
"Yes, well, you know what Moody says, 'Constant Vigilance'. And it's Remus, Hermione."  
  
Ginny jumped into the conversation quickly. "Profe—Remus, that is, any news on Harry?"  
  
He shook his head with a faint sad smile. "None yet. I'm sure you'll be able to see him soon. There are just some things he needs to...cope with...first."  
  
His expression turned thoughtful and he walked away quite suddenly.  
  
"Why does he always walk off like that?" asked Ron.  
  
Hermione sighed. "Because, Ron, he is obviously affected by Sirius' death just as much as Harry. James and Lily died, and he thought that Wormtail was dead and Sirius had betrayed them. Then, after being isolated from them for twelve years, his ex-best friend escapes from jail and he learns he's innocent. Then he learned Wormtail, who he had been mourning, was actually alive and the real traitor. Just about two years after he is reunited with his best friend, that best friend dies. Obviously, he's quite upset by Sirius dying. At the same time, he feels very guilty because he believed Sirius was a murderer for twelve years. And he's wondering if there's something wrong with him that causes his best friends to die. Not to mention he's no doubt feeling very lonely, and wants to help Harry but doesn't know how." She said this as though it were obvious, Ginny nodding in agreement.  
  
Ron stared at her open-mouthed for a moment, before finally saying, "Can all girls do that or is it just you?"  
  
Ginny said, "Well, a lot of that is really quite obvious. Hermione just has a way of putting it into words better." She smiled. "It's not so much that girls are good at it as much as guys are absolutely hopeless at it."  
  
Hermione laughed.  
  
Ron frowned. "Girls..."  
  
The next morning, Harry woke feeling more well-rested than he had the entire summer. Yawning, he stretched, groaning slightly at the aches all over his body that seemed to wake also. He stood up, gingerly testing his sore legs, and padded barefoot into the main room.  
Feeling rather hungry, he glanced around but saw no sign of anything to cook with, nor did he see any sign of Professor Snape. He shrugged and thought briefly of going to the kitchens, but cast the idea aside. Instead, he went back into the bedroom and grabbed one of the Defense books that he had gotten the previous Christmas. Curled in a corner of the couch back in front of the fireplace, Harry ran his hands over the leather cover and thought of who he had received the book from. With a deep, slow sigh, he opened the book and began to read about defensive tactics.  
  
Some time later, he was distracted from his reading by a dry chuckle. "Harry Potter, reading a book during the summer? Surely I am hallucinating."  
  
Harry threw him a glare but set the book down, carefully marking his page.  
  
"Have you had anything to eat?"  
  
Harry shook his head.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"I wasn't exactly sure where to get anything to eat."  
  
"Foolish boy. You should have woken me up."  
  
Harry cringed slightly at the man's scolding tone, but it sounded nothing like his Uncle Vernon's slurred, drunken insults. "I thought you might like to get some sleep."  
  
He sighed. "I was tired, but, though neither of us may like it, I am your guardian. You should come..."-- he sounded as though the words coming out of his mouth were dearly costing his pride—"come to me...if there's anything...you need."  
  
Harry shrugged, trying not to look amused.  
  
"Well...do you want soup or something?"  
  
Harry shrugged. "Sounds great."  
  
"I'll get you something from the kitchens."  
  
While he waited for Snape to return, Harry pondered the change that seemed to have come over the man. It seemed like after the visit in Dumbledore's office, the professor had become, at the very least, much more tolerant of him.  
  
When Professor Snape returned with a tray of steaming soup, Harry thanked him and began fiddling with his spoon. He expected to be told to stop being irritating and just eat, but when he looked over, he saw that Snape was also fiddling with his food, looking thoughtful. Finally, he broke the silence.  
  
"Potter, I think it is time we resume your Occlumency lessons."  
  
Harry dropped his spoon. He hadn't been expecting the lessons to start so soon, but he supposed it was for the best. He nodded slowly.  
  
"This afternoon, my office."  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
Snape sighed, and Harry wondered if he also was feeling apprehensive. However, Harry's thoughts quickly shifted. "Sir...d'you...d'you think I might be able to go flying this morning? Just for awhile?"  
  
He sighed and muttered, "I swear, it must be genetic, this Quidditch obsession."  
  
"Well, I haven't been able to fly since last year," said Harry defensively.  
  
"You punched another student in the face, if I remember correctly. Did you expect a reward of some sort?"  
  
Harry began to feel angry. "You didn't hear what he said. He was going on about my mum." The air around him seemed to fill with a strange buzzing.  
  
Snape seemed to notice this and said slowly, "Calm down, Potter."  
  
Harry took a deep, steadying breath and closed his eyes until the buzzing stopped.  
  
"Better. And the Quidditch is Dumbledore's decision. It makes no difference to me."  
  
It wasn't until after Snape had left that Harry realized he had just had a full-length, civil conversation with the man.  
  
Half an hour later, Harry walked outside with his beloved Firebolt clutched in his hands. Dumbledore had somehow managed to get it back, and had given it to Harry when he asked to play go flying, on the condition he was very, very careful. Harry had grinned and felt, for perhaps the first time since the previous spring, truly happy. He now had an ecstatic grin on his face.  
  
Once he reached the pitch, which took a rather longer time then normal, he carefully mounted his broom and took off. As he left the ground behind him, he also left behind the lingering aches and pains from the previous month. A light breeze fluttered against his face, and the wind rushed in his ears. He felt the familiar euphoric sensation that he had only ever gotten from flying.  
  
He flew in circles around the pitch, slowly accelerating until he was going so fast that everything else appeared a blur. He looped and dove, letting out a joyous whoop for no reason at all. He circled higher and higher, until he was so high that looking down made him dizzy. Then he pulled into a spectacular dive, going almost straight down as the blood pounded in his ears. He pulled out of the dive very late, flying so low that his toes skimmed the grass.  
  
After he had flown until he was sure he would fall off his broom from exhaustion, he made his way back up to the castle, feeling better than he had in some time.  
  
Severus tried to spend some time making potions but he couldn't concentrate. As hard as he tried to ignore it, he had begun to see Potter in a whole new light, especially after hearing him recount the dream the day before. In the end, he found himself unable to concentrate and decided to go out for some fresh air, away from the heavy damp fumes of the dungeons.  
  
Out on the grounds, he noted the figure flying very high above the Quidditch stands. Of course one would leave it to Potter to show off. All the same, he stood unnoticed at the edge of the pitch and watched him fly.  
  
On the occasion the boy passed close enough for Snape to see his face, there was a carefree expression of pure ecstasy. Severus watched in slight amusement as Harry looped higher and higher, letting out a shout of joy.  
  
Suddenly, Potter took a sharp dive, traveling towards the earth at an amazing rate of speed. Surely-surely he wasn't trying to kill himself? His heart hammered, and he almost laughed with relief when he finally pulled out of the dive. Deciding he had seen enough, he made a quiet exit before Potter could see him and realize just how impressed he was with the boy's flying.  
  
A/N: Yeah, it's a pretty crappy ending for a chapter, but I was super eager to get this chapter out after the twelve or so years that I put off posting. I really am sorry! By the way, a cookie goes to whoever can tell me what language the password is in and what it means... 


	11. Occlumency Revisited

Suffering Chapter 11 

Disclaimer: Yup....aaannnd.....still not mine. What d'you know? (Insert amusing anecdote here)...

A/N: So....I do not know what to say to apologize for the wait, guys. I have horrendously abused your faithful readership. All I can say to make up for it is that I had a severe case of writers block—I want to start reworking this story—and then another idea tapped me on the shoulder for a canon 6th year with an interesting Severitus twist. You can check that one out if you want to—Harry Potter and the Rise of War. It's pretty slow going, but I have a lot planned for it. This story is kind of in a rut, so any ideas would be greatly appreciated. Perhaps I could come up with a deleted scene or early chapter or reviewer feature for the best suggestion(s) for this story. Anyhow, besides that, I've had massive amounts of homework and a really rough few months. I beg your forgiveness, mighty and merciful reviewers.

Also, cookies as promised to those of you who answered that the password (Did I promise cookies? I don't remember...) means "Rubber Duck" in German. Rubber duck because...umm I love rubber duckies...(see name above ;) and German because it's my favorite culture/language (closely followed by French). Yes, not a very Snape-like password, but just for the sake of fun. I don't think he gets to choose them anyway.

Someone asked why Harry was limping if Madame Pomfrey healed him. The answer is although it's healed, it's still sore...or something like that. I guess that's pretty much it for my author's note... Hmm...all the other authors always have something clever or funny to say. I suppose I'm just too lazy.

xXxXx

Later that afternoon, after Harry had cleaned up after flying and had something to eat again —he was surprised to find that his appetite was slowly coming back—he waited in Professor Snape's office to begin his Occlumency session. He felt more than just a slight apprehensiveness knowing that Snape was going to be in his memories again and wondered if he should have put more of them into the Pensieve.

The door opened quite suddenly and Harry jumped slightly. He relaxed somewhat when he noticed that the Potions Master seemed to be in a much better mood than usual.

"Potter," he said, keeping the curtness in his voice to a bare minimum.

"Hello, professor," he said, cautious to keep his voice respectful enough to keep Snape's good mood. He quickly rose and moved to face the man.

"You know the drill, Potter. On the count of three. One...two..."

Harry immediately began trying to remember and recapture the empty sensation he had felt the night before.

"Three!"

...Harry had just left King's Cross with the despicable people he called family after the Order had threatened his uncle.

"Get into the car..." Vernon growled, his great flabby face quivering with outrage...

...A six or seven year old Harry cried alone in his cupboard after being hit and called worthless by his uncle...

...Harry stabbed viciously at the basilisk with the sword of Godric Gryffindor in his second year...

...He watched as Sirius cowered on the lakeshore, swarmed by a horde of dementors...

_"No!"_ Harry thought desperately. Struggling with every shred of willpower he possessed, he felt the memories beginning to fade. Head swimming, he blinked and saw Snape standing in front of him again. Exhausted, he fell to his knees, looking at the floor so his professor wouldn't see the tears that had formed in his eyes at the last memory.

"That was not bad. Unfortunately, the skill level you just showed will be insufficient to protect you from the Dark Lord's power. You must learn to block out your emotions to be a success at Occlumency. Again. One...two...three!"

Harry watched Aunt Marge inflate and float to the ceiling like a great swelling balloon. He tore out of the kitchen, to the cupboard door, which magically burst open. He dragged his trunk out and pointed his wand at Vernon when the furious man tried to stop him. He took off into the night...

He was flying high over the Quidditch pitch...suddenly his broom began to buck dangerously. It gave an almighty lurch, and suddenly Harry was only holding onto his Nimbus 2000 with one hand...

A five-year old boy with messy black hair was viciously backhanded by his uncle before the man removed his belt and began hitting him very hard with it. The little boy cried out in pain....

Harry was in the floor, curled up in a classic defensive position, shivering slightly. As soon as the spell was removed, Harry sprang back to his feet, breathing hard.

Snape ground his teeth, seemingly in frustration. "Potter...I realize you have more bad memories than most, but you must block this spell. You are not trying hard enough!" There was a light glint of something almost like fear in his eyes. Any trace of his earlier, more patient mood was gone. "You've already seen that you aren't the only one who will be affected if you don't learn Occlumency! Do you not realize how much this can affect those around you, or do you just not care? Your lazy selfishness is going to hurt those around you!"

Harry's heart caught in his chest. He gave Snape a cold, hard glare and, taking deep, calming breaths, said, "Let's go again."

For a moment, an unreadable emotion—Disappointment? Shock?—flitted over the professor's face, apparently at Harry's lack of argument. "Very well. One...two...three!"

Harry sat in Dumbledore's office, watching Professor Trelawney's form rise out of a swirling Pensieve. She began to prophesize about the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord...

No, thought Harry. No one can see that! He gave a great push, trying with all his might to get Snape out of his head.

An instant later, there was an almighty bang, and a flash of light filled the office. Harry was thrown off his feet and smacked his head against the floor. Everything went black for several seconds, but his vision slowly came back into focus. Head pounding, he lay still, rubbing the bump he could feel forming at the back of his skull. A moment later, Snape's face loomed above him.

"What did you do?!"

"Threw you out of my head, sir, like I was supposed to. I guess I overdid it a little."

"That's an understatement. I suppose you managed to hurt yourself as well?"

"I just hit my head. I'm fine."

"Very well. You threw me out that time, but you did not block me entirely. You still are not trying hard enough. Your resistance is full of holes, which the Dark Lord will easily exploit. He will take you numerable weaknesses and use them against you. Try harder!"

Harry stared at him for a minute. He hadn't expected a 'well-done' or anything, but honestly, did the man have to be such an arse all the time? "Are we done now, sir?" He turned away and headed to the door without waiting for an answer.

"I have not dismissed you yet, Potter!" Harry kept walking. Snape made an irritated noise and jerkily reached forwards, grabbing Harry's wrist in a strong, bruising grip.

Harry struggled to pull his arm free, but Snape held tighter than ever. "Do you not understand how important this is, boy? You must master Occlumency!" His voice started as a hiss but had soon escalated to an angry shout.

Suddenly electricity seemed to jolt through Harry's body the way that it had the night he had been attacked by dementors the previous summer. Snape dropped his arm as though he had been scalded, and Harry took the opportunity to run as quickly as possible in the opposite direction.

xXxXx

Harry ran towards the Owlery, one hand over his sore, already bruising wrist. He didn't slow until he reached the room, where he sat, panting slightly, on the floor. After a few minutes Hedwig flew to him and landed on his shoulder.

"Hey girl," he whispered miserably. He glanced at his arm and saw that vivid, finger-shaped bruises had already formed. The only other time he had actually been afraid of Snape was when he looked in his Pensieve. He hated it. He hated feeling afraid of people, especially at Hogwarts.

He struck the floor with his fist as his eyes glazed over. Was Snape going to remind him of his failure every time he had an Occlumency lesson? He knew it was his fault that Sirius had died, and he had hours and hours to think about that as he was left to rot over the summer.

He leaned his head back and stared at the ceiling where the occasional owl swooped between the rafters. He had never considered Vernon and Snape very much alike, except that they both hated him, of course. But he had never thought that Snape, as a Hogwarts professor, would lose control the way he had. The thought of Harry not learning Occlumency seemed to terrify the man. Truth be told, it terrified Harry, too.

He heard someone approaching the Owlery and stiffened, hoping that it wasn't the Potions Master in a towering rage. Much to his relief, Professor McGonagall entered the room.

"Potter," she said softly.

"Hello, Professor McGonagall." He shifted slightly to conceal his arm in his robes.

"I do hope you are feeling better."

"A bit," he said, feeling rather uncomfortable.

"Well, you'd best get on your way," she said to him. Harry nodded and tried to inconspicuously hide his arm as he walked by. He had just grabbed the doorknob when she stopped him.

"Did Madame Pomfrey forget to heal that one?" He stiffened and turned around.

"Excuse me?"

"That bruise on your arm. Did Madame Pomfrey forget to heal it?"

"Erm...yes...I mean no...I mean-"

"What happened?" Her eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"It's no big deal...Professor Snape just...kind of grabbed my arm earlier. I don't think he realized he was squeezing that hard."

"Severus did that?" She gently steered him out of the room by his shoulder and began marching him down the hall. Harry dragged his feet as much as possible, not especially wanting to be part of the conversation that was sure to come soon.

"Yes, but it's no big deal, honestly. I've had much worse."

She gave him a sidelong glance but kept walking, saying furiously as she went, "Hogwarts is different from your previous...home. It is unacceptable for anyone here to physically attack you." Her lips had formed a tighter line than he had ever seen.

"Please, Professor, really, there's no reason to get so angry about it. I really wouldn't say he physically attacked me..." Harry couldn't help but think that Snape was going to destroy him the instant McGonagall wasn't around.

She stopped in the middle of the corridor, breathing deeply. Turning to him, she said softly, "Let me see your arm, please." Harry reluctantly allowed her to inspect the bruises. "When exactly did this happen?"

"Er...about ten minutes ago?"

McGonagall's face clouded. Suddenly she pulled his hand closer to his face. "What happened to your hand? 'I must not tell lies?'"

"I...had a lot of detentions with Umbridge last year."

"Why are you changing the subject?"

"I'm not. I had to do lines...with her quill...it was enchanted or something..." Harry looked down at his feet guiltily. When he looked back up, the woman's face was whiter than ever.

"Do you mean to tell me that every time you served detention with that woman, she forced you to hurt yourself?"

"Well...I guess so..."

"We are going to speak with the headmaster as well, then."

"Honestly, Professor, it's done with. It doesn't matter anymore."

They began walking again, McGonagall's stride much faster. "Professor Dumbledore would want to know what Umbridge did, Harry, and it is simply unacceptable for Severus to be hurting you."

Harry kept his head down, dreading what was to come. All too soon, Professor McGonagall was knocking on Snape's office door. He came out looking calmer than he had earlier, but still agitated.

"May I help you, Minerva?"

"I would like to know what happened with Potter earlier." Harry wished he could disappear into the floor. He saw Snape throw him a sharp look.

"What are you talking about?"

"Did you not see what you did to his arm, Severus?"

His eyes narrowed slightly. "Let me see, Potter." He took Harry's wrist and examined it, ignoring the teen's protests that it wasn't a big deal.

"Why didn't you tell me I had done this?"

Harry shrugged, not wanting to admit that Snape terrified him.

"I assure you, Mr. Potter, it was never my intention to harm you. I'm...I lost control. Rest assured it won't happen again."

"It's not a big deal, really, sir. I've had much worse..." he muttered, flushing slightly. "I think I'm supposed to go talk to Professor Dumbledore now." McGonagall took him by the arm again and started pulling him away. Glancing backwards, he saw Snape giving him a calculating look.

The walk to Dumbledore's office seemed to take an eternity, not that Harry minded. The moment that he would have to look Dumbledore in the eye and tell him how he had let Umbridge manipulate him was one he wanted to forestall as long as possible.

McGonagall, increasing her stride, suddenly asked, "How many detentions did you serve with Delores Umbridge?"

"Um...quite a few I guess. Two or three weeks' worth, at least...I don't really remember..."

Her eyebrows contracted into an angry line. "And every time she made you do that?" She gestured to his hand.

"Yeah..." he said slowly, sensing that the professor was going to get very angry very shortly.

She fortunately remained silent until they reached the great stone griffin, where she said, "Sugar Quill," in a quite brusque manner that suggested she was less than amused by the headmaster's choice of password.

A few minutes later, Harry stepped off the revolving staircase. The headmistress ushered him into Dumbledore's office and said, "Take a seat," while she went to find him.

Harry waited tensely, seriously considering making a run for it before the McGonagall came back out. He decided this would not be a very smart thing to do, since with his luck he would end up collapsing in the middle of the corridor.

He heard rather than saw Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall enter, because he was busy staring at his feet.

"Harry," said Professor McGonagall softly as Dumbledore sat down, "Please show the headmaster your hand."

Slowly, very slowly, Harry extended his hand across the desk. The headmaster gently took his hand and inspected it closely.

"Harry?" he asked. Harry looked up at him slowly feeling very much exposed. "What happened?" Dumbledore fixed him with a penetrating stare. Harry didn't respond, just went back to studying his shoelaces.

"Potter, are you going to tell the him, or shall I?" Still Harry remained silent. "Very well. I was inspecting Mr. Potter's arm because he had some unusual bruises—I'll explain those later—and noticed the writing on his hand. Eventually, he told me that every time he had detention with Delores Umbridge, she forced him to write 'I must not tell lies' with a quill that caused it to become etched into the back of his hand."

Harry could feel his face burning with shame. "Is this true, Harry?" Dumbledore's voice interjected solemnly. He looked up, finally meeting the headmaster's eyes, and nodded slowly. "Why did you not tell me? I certainly could've intervened and stopped it."

"You...were already in a rough spot with the Ministry..." Harry began, though he knew that was not the real reason. "And...well...I sort of thought I had done something to make you angry..."

Dumbledore looked saddened. "Yes...an old man's mistake...I should not have been so secretive last year, as we have already discussed. Harry, in the future, I want you to feel free to come to me no matter what."

Harry nodded, feeling that more people had told him that in the past few days than ever before in his life.

"Now, Harry, about these bruises..."

Harry flushed again. "It's no big deal, honestly..."

"Given your past history, Harry, what may not seem like a big deal to you will almost certainly be quite an important matter to myself."

"It's...during Occlumency lessons with Sn—Professor Snape, he started criticizing me...he—he mentioned Sirius..."-Harry's voice grew quieter-"and I was afraid I was going to lose control...I couldn't take it anymore...so I tried to leave and he grabbed my arm and started yelling at me. I really don't think he meant to...it was my fault, I shouldn't have tried to leave..."

"I imagine, Harry, that growing up you were often told that you deserved physical abuse, but I assure you this is not the case. Regardless of what you have been told, there is no excuse, none at all, for an adult at this school to harm you." His tone held a firm finality, but Harry only half believed him. Dumbledore looked at McGonagall and said, "I assume you've spoken with Severus?"

"Yes. He seemed...as apologetic as he ever is."

The headmaster nodded and Harry voiced something that had been puzzling him. "Professor Dumbledore, I...during the Occlumency lessons, Snape got into my memory of when you showed me your memory of Professor Trelawney last year—" Harry was as cryptic as possible, because he was guessing McGonagall didn't know about the prophecy—"and I threw him out of my head, but I must have done something wrong, because there was this great flash of light and I was thrown against the wall."

Dumbledore looked thoughtful and, after a long pause, said, "Harry, I don't think you did anything wrong. However, this is an interesting development. I do believe you witnessed a rather extreme display of power."

Harry's mind was buzzing with questions, but Dumbledore spoke before he could voice one. "Before you begin to ask me the thousands of questions that must be swarming about your head, I must tell you that I do not know anything for certain yet. I am going to consider this, but in the mean time I suggest you get some rest. You look dead on your feet."

Harry nodded, though he was still quite afraid of being in a room alone with Snape. Professor McGonagall escorted him from the room, leaving a thoughtful looking Dumbledore behind.

xXxXx

Severus paced his dungeons, glad he was alone, because Severus Snape was not the type of man who paced. Prowl, perhaps, but never pace.

He felt horrible. He had a splitting headache from hitting his head because of the shock wave Potter had caused. He had to admit, he was curious to what the memory he had seen was, as well as why the boy was so anxious to keep it secret.

Moreover, he was horrified by the bruises he had given Potter. He did not like the child by any stretch of the imagination, but he had always been disgusted by those people who resorted to physical violence, especially on children. He was infuriated by Potter's submissiveness, because it had meant that he had discovered very good reasons to not fight back.

He stopped in his pacing, deciding to make use of his time and work on restocking his Potions supply.

Stalking through the halls with his trademark scowl in place to attest to his foud mood, he nearly ran into Dumbledore.

"Albus," he said by way of greeting, respect the only thing holding his tongue in check.

"Severus! I've been meaning to have a word with you!" The old man looked positively delighted.

"If this is about Potter's bruises, I never intended to—" 

"No, no, that is not what I wished to discuss, although I must ask you to try not to terrify him so much. This does concern Harry, though. He expressed to me earlier his confusion over the surge he created during the Occlumency lessons. It sounds like a simple case of accidental magic, but the Hogwarts wards are supposed to prevent such outbursts. It takes a great deal of power to get through the wards. Of course, I have suspected for some time that Mr. Potter may possess extraordinary power."

"May I ask why you are telling me this, Albus?"

"Severus, you're living with the boy. I'm not asking you to give him any more extra lessons, but he will, in time, need to learn the responsibility that comes with this power. For now, I would appreciate it if you would keep a close watch on him and take note of any changes in his power. Eventually, he will need a mentor who can aid him."

"Albus...I know what you want, but surely you would be a much better mentor than I."

"I do not think that is the case. I highly doubt Harry trusts me as he once did."

Snape looked at Dumbledore for a long moment, then sighed in resignation.

"Excellent! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get in touch with Cornelius Fudge. "

"Why--?"

"To file a complaint over the disciplinary methods of one Miss Delores Umbridge. It seems she forced certain students, while they served detentions, to use a cursed quill that caused involuntary self-mutilation."

xXxXx

Cornelius Fudge, Minister of Magic, was swamped. Ever since June, when he had decided it would be best to make a public statement that You-Know-Who was once again in power, he had been swamped with letters of various sorts. Exactly three hundred and twenty-seven people had written so far to tell them they supported him in every decision he made. Each had received a hand written, personalized, signed letter graciously thanking them. Hundreds of others, however, did not think he was doing such a fine job. He had gotten letters from at least a hundred angry housewives chastising him for slandering poor, innocent, deprived Harry Potter in such a way. He had been the unfortunate recipient of a horde of Howlers from the more obsessive Harry Potter fans.

Harry Potter...as far as Cornelius was concerned, he was a menace to society, Golden Boy or not. So he hadn't been lying about Voldemort...the child could talk to snakes. He had blown up his aunt and interfered with the capture of Sirius Black. The boy was more trouble than he was worth.

Fudge was startled out of him musings by the younger Weasley's voice. "Minister, Albus Dumbledore wishes to speak to you. He wishes to connect by Floo."

"I'm busy!"

"He says it's important..."

He heaved a great sigh. "Very well! This had better be fast." The fireplace on the far wall of his office sparked suddenly, and the head of Albus Dumbledore appeared, looking angry. "Good day, Professor Dumbledore."

"Hello, Cornelius. I have come because I some rather disturbing news to report. This morning it came to my attention that one Miss Delores Umbridge imposed a rather unusual and illegal form of detention during her employment at Hogwarts. It seems she used an enchanted quill that forced a sort of self-mutilation upon the student using it."

"Albus, you surely don't expect me to have known about this?" In all truthfulness, Fudge had possessed an inkling that the woman would resort to means that were a bit outside the law, but he had always looked the other way.

The headmaster's eyes blazed with power, and Fudge remembered just how much of a threat the man was. "I wouldn't be so presumptuous as to assume that you are aware of every movement your employees make. I simply trust you will see to it that justice is upheld."

"Wait just a minute, Dumbledore!" cried Fudge, but the older man's head had already disappeared from the fire.

xXxXx

When Harry went to Snape's rooms, he was rather relieved to see that the professor wasn't there. He retreated to the room that he still refused to think of as his own, even temporarily. He rummaged through his trunk, looking for a book, when he felt something sharp slice his fingers.

He pushed aside everything that cluttered his trunk and saw what he had cut his hand on. Glass shards lay innocently at the bottom of the case, reflecting light up at him, completely oblivious to everything they represented. Harry remembered with a jolt the day he had come across the mirror.

His hand was bleeding profusely, but he paid no attention as he picked up the pieces and cradled them gently. Tears sprung into his eyes. "Damn it all!" he shouted, throwing the pieces across the room where they hit the wall and broke into even smaller pieces than before. His hand now throbbing and spotted with blood, he flopped to his stomach on the bed and buried his face in the pillow.

xXxXx

Severus returned to his rooms, thoroughly calmed after completely restocking his Migraine Elixir. He sank into his sofa, staring at the flames that danced in the fireplace. After a moment, he noted the lack of Potter's presence and went to check the boy's room. When he opened the door, he saw him lying on the bed, face down and fully clothed. A large multitude of shattered glass covered the floor near the wall, and Potter's hand was bleeding.

He sneered. Somehow the child managed to hurt himself every sixteen seconds. "Potter?"

The boy sat up and stared heavily at Severus with red-rimmed eyes. "Pro-Professor Snape, sir?"

"Your hand is bleeding."

He looked down. "Oh, yeah...I forgot."

"Indeed." He waved his wand and the boy's hand healed.

"Thanks."

"Are...is something wrong?" Potter shrugged half-heartedly. "Would you like me to summon Professor Dumbledore?"

"If it's ok, I...I'd like to be left alone."

Snape nodded and turned to leave. He stopped at the door and looked back, seeing the teenager curl up in a fetal position with his back to him.

"Potter...what is wrong with you?" It was almost painful to think it, but somewhere buried in the cold depths of his soul, he felt pity for the child.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Potters voice was hoarse, barely above a whisper.

"Very well." Frustrated to the breaking point, he shut the door with a quiet click and decided he very much needed a drink. That was certainly saying something, as he had avoided alcohol for the past sixteen years. Only Potters had that particular effect on him.

xXxXxXxXx

A/N2: Again, a thousand apologies for the wait. I lost a dear family member this weekend, and my life's just been pretty hectic lately. Still, there's no excuse for me to have gone as long as I did. To those of you who are still reading this, please keep reviewing.


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